Am I doing something wrong? Life is not fair!

Life is what it is, nothing more or less

I grew up with 2 brothers and 2 sisters. Resources were sometimes scarce, so we were always taught to ‘be fair.’ This meant sharing what we had and trying to get along the best we could with what we had.

When commenting to an older and wiser acquaintance one day about some current situation in the world that I thought was not fair, he simply said, ‘Who said that life was meant to be fair?’ It was like a light being switched on in my brain as I realized that what he said was absolutely true! Why hadn’t I known this before? There is no rule book anywhere that says life is meant to be fair!

Just because I had been raised to play fair, value honesty, and have compassion for others doesn’t mean that everyone else had the same values instilled into them. This made me realize that life is just life- it is different for everyone, and it isn’t ‘meant’ to be any one thing.

No matter what we may think, none of us are doing anything wrong. However, we are because of the law of attraction, receiving exactly what we deserve according to our unconscious beliefs about life, regardless if we think it is fair or not.

So, instead of wasting time and energy complaining about why you think you are being treated unfairly, why not do something about it! If you are not happy with your current life or certain aspects of it, simply change yourself to create the ‘fair’ life you desire.

Effective change can only begin when we understand who we are and how we came to be this person.

How did I become me? The world we live in influences who we become.

We all look at the world differently. All seven billion-plus people on the planet today see the world through their own eyes, through their own belief systems. Our individual belief systems are formed through our own unique collection of experiences. What is fair for one, is completely at odds with how another person may feel. We all come from different backgrounds, different cultures, climates, resource bases, religions, political beliefs, etc. How could we all possibly believe the same things?

We may be looking at the same event as others, but due to our own set of beliefs formed by our upbringing, unique inherited genetics, and social conditioning, we will all have our own distinctive opinions and interpretations about what is happening.

Imagine growing up on a tropical island, where food grows abundantly from every tree, the sea is full of fresh delicious food and the sunshine is abundant. Compare this to a high plateau in the mountains with extremely cold temperatures, low sunshine hours, where little food grows, and every day is a struggle to survive. These different groups of people cannot possibly have the same views on life. Their fundamental belief systems will be quite different.

Where do our beliefs come from? The power of the subconscious mind.

It is fortunate that our brain, with its millions of uncommitted cells at birth, has an amazing ability to learn new information and new skills. It is the world that we interact with that develops and shapes our thoughts to form our beliefs after birth. However, it is unfortunate that most people unconsciously take on beliefs that are limiting to them.

It is natural for us, from the moment we are born, to be exposed to the beliefs of those around us. While we are young we are unaware that we do not need to take these beliefs on as our own. We then often go through our whole lives believing what those closest to us believe and what we are taught by the groups we belong to, the schools we attend, the media we watch, etc.

You could say that the majority of our ‘core subconscious beliefs’ are the results of our genetics. By this, I mean that we inherited many beliefs about life from our parents, and they received the same from their parents and grandparents and great-grandparents…….. It’s more a case of inherited beliefs and habits than inherited DNA that shapes our individual personalities.

Some of these beliefs that we inherited about life have no place in our subconscious as they do not relate to the modern world that we are currently living in. For example: while traveling in different countries I would often hear comments like, “You shouldn’t travel to the next country because those people are bad. They invaded us 400 years ago and murdered our countrymen and women.”

Ok, so the people living today in that ‘bad country’ are not responsible for what happened 400 years ago, and are more often than not, quite similar to us in what they want to achieve in life. This belief and many others that some of us are holding on to severely affect our ability to enjoy life.

We are the creators of the content of our lives:

Our beliefs create our identity ‘self’ and we tend to stringently cling to this core identity, resisting change. This identity becomes like a self-imposed prison that limits what we do and what we won’t do on a moment by moment basis. We essentially become a ‘human-doing,’ content to live within a ‘box’ of diminished and restricted experiences dictated to us by our subconscious minds.

If your life is not as you wish it to be, it’s time to reassess and update your core beliefs, so that you can move beyond the beliefs that have held you back until now. You will then be free to move forward into the life that you desire for yourself.
You can do this little by little or in huge leaps and bounds. The choice is yours.

You can start now by asking yourself: Who were the greatest influences during your formative years?

Are they holding onto some beliefs that you consider outdated?

Do you subconsciously act in ways to reinforce some of these same beliefs in your own life?

Life is a journey of self-discovery: You will discover everything is connected.

In order to grow, we must be willing to give up ‘who we currently are. We can then begin to evolve into ‘who we want to become.’ To achieve this, we must first understand our place in the world we are living, because it is this environment that has shaped who we currently are.

As individual identities, we can only experience a very limited portion of all that is available in any one lifetime. So it takes many lifetimes of different experiences to understand the whole range of possibilities that being human encompasses. We, therefore, return to Earth many times to lead different lives knowing that one day we will become whole again through the accumulation of all of our experiences.

This means, that we may have been, or currently are, a soldier, a baker, a nun, a banker, an environmentalist, and everything else imaginable…. Poor, rich, fat, thin, tall or short, Asian, European or African, healthy or sick, happy, angry or sad…… The list includes everyone and every situation possible.

Each lifetime is just a series of events, a play in which we participate, which offers us many opportunities to learn and grow as a human being.

Either choose the content of your life or accept what life throws at you:

If we choose to remain attached to the drama of daily life, life will continue to be a struggle, and it will seem to be unfair. We will see ourselves as victims of events that are happening ‘to us.’

However, the more we become aware of our spiritual-SELF, the more capable we are of living in harmony with life as we are able to see the connection between our thoughts/beliefs and the events that these thoughts/beliefs ‘attract’ into our lives. This is The Law of Attraction in action.

Like all universal laws, The Law of Attraction is absolute and uncompromising. We are all creating our reality whether we like it or not! We are all receiving what we deserve according to our subconscious beliefs about life, whether we want them or not!

It is your choice to be an active creator in your own story, so that you create the life you desire, or to play a victim pretending that you have little or no control over your life. Which do you choose?

If you believe that ‘life is not fair,’ then get motivated and do something about the beliefs you are holding onto that have created your current reality. No one else can do it for you.

Click here to learn ‘How to play the game of life.’

With much love and respect,


20 thoughts on “Am I doing something wrong? Life is not fair!

  1. Hey Andrew,

    Another great post!

    For me, the bottom line is taking responsibility for your life. So many people don’t do that. Happy to blame others and circumstances for their lot in life.

    Once we take responsibility our whole world changes and we become the creator of our life and can look at the blank canvas and start filling it with what we want.

    And I agree that if the person we are is not in a happy place, we need to change who we are. If the person we are is not having the success we need or want then nothing will change unless we change. Sadly most people don’t like change but like their comfort zone.

    Thanks for the inspiration,


    1. If we continue to blame others for all of our problems, we will never be problem-free. So, yes, we need to take responsibility for our own lives and the circumstances we have created.
      I think it’s too easy to be stuck in a comfort, but there is no growth or satisfaction to be had in that place. Challenges are what give us the impetus for growth and development, which is what life should be all about.

      Thanks for sharing your ideas with us Kev.
      Have a great day, mate.

  2. It’s hard to not get philosophical when you talk about rebirthing yourself. It’s true that you are a sum of what others have done around you and what you have seen. I agree that it’s a good idea to take it into your own hands and think about it for yourself.

    Though, I’m not entirely certain if it is necessary to “Discover your spiritual self” Because you are a thoughtful being it relates almost solely to your ability to think past your current surroundings and decide whether or not to take them on and make them part of yourself. Simply being a gatekeeper to your own mind.

    Great article, Keep it up!!

    1. Hi Patrick. Many thanks for your comments. I do agree with you that it is not necessary to focus on the spiritual aspect of our being to create a better version of ourselves. All it needs is for us to pay attention to our thoughts as you have mentioned, and from there, with awareness, we can act in ways that will benefit our development as a person. For me, the spiritual aspect is just a reminder that we are not in this alone, that there is a power greater than us that has facilitated this game of life for us to participate in. I wish you well on your journey my friend.
      best wishes,

  3. Andrew, I agree that we have to give up who we are to become something new. Giving up on the current self identity is tough if it is unconscious. I find myself asking ‘who am I now?’ just to try and enter a space of possibility. I like what Jim said about the “ebbs & flows” of motivation. Commitment and discipline are needed to try to even out those periods of activity and inactivity so that progress can be seen and appreciated. Thanks for the inspiration.

    1. Hi Junemo. Yes, it is very insightful to realize that life flows but not at a constant rate, and it is in the ebbs that we can reflect on our progress and really appreciate what we have learned. I wish you all the best on your journey. Kind regards,

  4. Great post Andrew, I really like the way you explain that we all have our own perspective which gives us our view of the world which in turn creates our experience or reality and we of course have the choice to change things or not. Great info that needs to get out into the world.

    Keep up the good work

    1. Thanks for your support Cambell. It’s much appreciated. Together we can make a significant difference in the world. However, it is important that until they are ready to change, some people will never realize that the choice is theirs.
      With much respect,

  5. I love this post! I have immersed myself in many books on the subconscious mind and our limiting beliefs and I am a huge advocate for self responsibility when it comes to the governance of one’s own life and the manner in which we frame our experience. Victimization and fear based thinking is quite prevalent in my observations of experience and this post really blows the lid off of what is really going on in terms of one’s life and the governance of one’s experience. It is insightful and inspiring and really delineates clearly the concepts of our experience that will provide empowerment and education to those who are seeking some relief or clarity in what is happening in their lives. Thanks Andrew! I look forward to more coming down the pipe!

    1. Hi Rebecca. Awesome. Thanks for your input. Yes, unfortunately, a victim mentality is prevalent in most societies as we are taught from a young age not to be responsible for ourselves. It’s up to us to teach the younger generations how to be the creators of the content of their own life. It’s so easy to do this, as every action has consequences, and if we can show them examples with immediate consequences, they can begin to understand how even their thoughts create corresponding results over a longer period of time. In doing this, we are giving them the tools to empower themselves so they will become the creators of the content of their life.
      With much love and respect,

  6. Good topic, I enjoyed reading. I too believe that does not matter which country or area we are from,
    In my opinion we are all citizens of Earth, so problem solved. One issue less so now we have more time
    to look first into ourselves, to begin the change with our own person.
    It is a fight to be won in knowing yourself and I believe that it can not be won unless we leave inside human
    waste to go away… sorry my English is not enough to express exactly what I mean.
    This is deep, congrats and thanks for sharing your thoughts with us

    1. Many thanks for your comments, Marian. Yes, you are right. The sooner more people realize that we have more similarities as people than differences, the sooner the Earth will become a happier place for all of her citizens. And this is something we are achieving one by one. I’m happy that you are on this journey with us. Kind regards,

  7. You are on the journey of discovery my friend.As you continue on to create what you desire within you will see in your reality.There are tools that can help us to achieve this.You are on the track of discovery my friend.Listen within you and learn to follow the small voice for answers.Lets help change the world

  8. After reading this I agree that becoming aware of my spiritual-self is quite important but I literally have no idea how to have more knowledge about that. Do you have any suggestions for me?

  9. Andrew,
    This article is very insightful. For years I have been trying to motivate myself to do more. It comes in ebb & flows as I think all of experience. As such, now I am in a new rebound mode. I believe you are right in saying, “we must give up our self-identity.” So much of our belief system is “built in to us” or instilled in our formative years with family and parents. Mom saying, “don’t talk to strangers!” never really helped me when I started my sales profession. I had to break that belief, or as you say give up and not stay who we currently are. So right! We have to break the comfort zone. This ties into the “drama” we all surround ourselves with too. In chemistry “like absorbs like, but opposites do attract.” Just as it is in nature and the law of attraction we are drawn to similar people in our current state of “being.” I agree with you we need to break the pattern of beliefs or “self-sabotage” and create our own path to not be a victim and believe “life is not fair.” The best way I have seen to do this is through self spirituality as you speak of. Thanks for the insight!

    1. Hi Jim. Many thanks for sharing your insights. You are right when you say that the only way out of the trap of self-defeating beliefs and ations is to evolve spiritually, which gives us greater control over the life that we are intentionally or unintentionally creating for ourselves. Best wishes to you on your journey.
      Kind regards,

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