I don’t know anyone who was given an instruction manual on how to raise children to live a happy and fulfilling life. I find this interesting because when I buy way less complicated stuff, it almost always comes with an instruction manual.
Does this mean that we consider our microwave, the car, or the bookshelf we have just purchased, to be ‘more complicated’ than having and raising our kids? Or is it because we have to pay lots of money for the new car, and we want to make sure we get the best possible value for our money?
Having kids is easy, and most of us can do it, and sometimes we don’t even think about it as we, or the person we have sex with, can become pregnant quite by accident! Great…… isn’t it?
All joking aside, I believe that making a conscious decision to bring another life into this world IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION WE CAN MAKE, AND WE SHOULD ONLY DO IT DONE WHEN WE HAVE ‘GOT OUR OWN LIVES IN ORDER.’ Then, we can teach them by example, how to live a happy life.
What do I mean by getting our own lives in order?
Ok, so you want to have children. Great! Why?
Why do you want to bring another life into this world? It’s a question worthy of a lot of consideration and a question with many different answers. However, a more important question to answer first is How is my own life working out for me?
Are we happy, satisfied, fulfilled, mentally emotionally and physically balanced, and financially stable? Or do we break into frequent fits of rage, jealousy, frustration, depression, self-loathing, etc?
Do we have purpose and direction in our lives, and something that we are passionate about achieving? What I’m trying to ask is “are we living consciously, with awareness of how we ‘fit in’ to our families, societies, and the environment, and do we have a goal of contributing to the world in a positive way?
I’m not suggesting we all need to be Einstein’s, Shakespeare’s, or a Mother Theresa, but I am alluding to the fact that we contribute to either raising or lowering the vibration of the planet just because of our presence. (We are either predominantly optimistic or pessimistic.)
This is important, because, THE WAY WE THINK, FEEL AND ACT, i.e. the way we live our lives, is what our children learn from us, and then model their own lives on.
So, If we don’t know ‘who we are,’ or have no idea what we want to achieve with our lives, it’s likely that our children will end up ‘inheriting’ very similar beliefs and will be just as lost, vulnerable, and confused, about this thing called life as we are! Is that what we want for our kids?
Were you raised in a family that had their ‘act together?’
To raise a child to be happy, content, well-adjusted, and passionate about life requires that the parents first have their lives ‘up to scratch,’ so that they can pass on real wisdom learned through personal experience.
When you were young and learning ‘the rules of life’ and how to ‘fit in and be a productive and useful member of society,’ were the people responsible for teaching/programming you the best possible role models that existed?
Were their lives so perfect that they could teach you how to achieve anything and everything you wanted throughout your life?
If not, what you learned while growing up was probably NOT THE BEST of all the information available…. even if it was the best that they could do. (And this is ok, it’s just the way things are!)
ALL the information we absorbed from our environment gave rise to our beliefs about ‘how life is,’ and then our super-powerful minds set out to make these beliefs a reality! And this reality is this very life that we are currently living.
ALL THE INFORMATION STORED IN OUR MINDS HAS CONTRIBUTED TO CREATING OUR LIFE AS IT IS NOW, AND IT IS THIS SAME INFORMATION THAT WE ARE PASSING ONTO OUR CHILDREN.
This means that: If we want our children to live better lives than us, we need to change the information that we are programming them with. (You can read more about how to do this here.)
Our current life circumstances are a direct result of our programming.
Unfortunately, most of us are living life by default. By this, I mean that we have not taken the necessary time or done the necessary work on ourselves to come to ‘know ourselves.’ Our ‘life story’ is as it currently is because of the beliefs we have about life and the thoughts that continuously pervade our minds that support this current story.
These beliefs have been forming throughout our whole lives from all the unfiltered information we have ever been exposed to. These beliefs are then responsible for most of the unconscious chatter that saturates our minds (for up to ninety-five percent of our waking lives- for the rest of our lives) when we are not consciously thinking, (which is only up to five percent of the time we are awake.)
Have you ever taken any time to consider this? That who you think you currently are is nothing more than a collection of information that you have collected throughout your life. If you had been exposed to different information (programmed differently), would you be the same person you are now? No, you would not! You would see and interact with the world in a different way that corresponds completely to the ‘other’ programming.
This information each of us received may have been right or wrong, good or bad, based on truth, or even just made up by those who were influencing us when we were young and impressionable. Personally, I do not know anyone who was raised by someone who knew how to be a ‘perfect parent.’
Our parents generally did the best they could when raising us. However, unfortunately, some of us had parents with issues so big, that raising happy, healthy, and confident children was not a priority in their lives. Their minds may have been scattered all over the place, distracted by this and that, and all the time they were not really noticing that their children were acquiring their core-beliefs from ALL this confusion and distractions that were happening all around them, as well as to them.
Regardless of how good or bad our parents were, our young minds absorbed All the INFORMATION WE WERE EXPOSED TO AND STORED IT DIRECTLY INTO OUR SUBCONSCIOUS MINDS. This is really great if we were programmed by people who are successful, happy, healthy, and filled with satisfaction because of their own awesome life experience. These parents/teachers would be able to share with us the values, beliefs, ideas, they have about life that would also help to ensure that we could live a satisfying life.
If, however, our teachers and early life influencers were not able to ‘sort their own life out,’ there is no way that they could teach us how to have a great life……. Simply because they didn’t know how to do it for themselves- and no one can effectively teach us what they don’t know and understand for themselves! As children, we learned what our early life influencers knew (plus what we have worked out for ourselves) and we, in turn, pass it on, and the cycle repeats!
How do our children learn?
From conception, our children are learning from us and beginning to create their future reality based on the way we feel about and respond to life. Even though our children do not yet understand language, they do understand vibration. Vibration is the universal language of all creation.
We live in a vibrational universe and the vibrations that our children absorb from us, because of how we feel, (NOT WHAT WE ARE SAYING WITH OUR WORDS,) is what they take on board and make their own- (how we feel is a direct consequence of what we are thinking.) These feelings then become their default subconscious programs that strongly influence all their responses to life. AND OUR CHILDREN WILL THEN ATTRACT TO THEM, THROUGH THE LAW OF ATTRACTION, EXPERIENCES THAT MATCH THESE PREDOMINANT VIBRATIONS.
Children learn primarily from those closest to them and those who are around them most often. Unfortunately, this also includes the crap that is playing on the TV, mom and dad yelling at each other, what we are afraid of, and the angry kid next door. Whatever their young and impressionable minds are exposed to is what gets implanted into their subconscious.
They learn how we think, what we feel, and how we act and react, and these ideas, beliefs, and behaviors will affect the outcomes they are able to achieve for the rest of their lives- (unless they are able to change these programmed subconscious beliefs.)
What are our kids learning from us?
Most of us would like to think that we are providing our children with a better start in life than we had.
We may even work two or more jobs to ensure that they have everything they need and most of the things they want in the hopes of making them happy. However, while a third of our day, or over half of our waking hours, are taken up working to earn a living, paying taxes, buying stuff, taking the rubbish out, worrying about the diminishing rain-forests, and feeding the cat, we don’t have a lot of time or energy left to consciously reflect on how to raise wonderful, magnificent, vibrant, successful, and happy children!
So we do what previous generations have always done, what we learned from our parents. We just ‘get on with it’ and do the best we can.
It worked for us in the past, right? We turned out ok, Yeah?
Our kids will also be fine 🙂
Things are as they are, and life goes on…. for better or worse.
So, this is what we learned. But, is it REALLY what we want to be teaching our children?
It seems that many of us may be approaching life from a flawed premise: If we work really hard, struggle long enough, and pay a big enough price, we will somehow be rewarded with financial well-being and a ‘great life’ once we retire.
However, in our struggle, we deny ourselves essential wellbeing, alignment with the abundance we seek, and needed time with our kids that can never be regained.
Instead of judging the value of our lives by its quantity, a better idea is to place more emphasis on the amount of joy we feel, how relaxed and peaceful we are, and how many things we have that stimulate our desire to become more deeply involved in our life experience. And how do we learn this?
We are lucky that we have the best teachers available to us, and fortunate that they are willing to give of themselves selflessly and for free!
What can we learn from our kids?
I know we have to go to work, pay the bills, worry about grandma, and take some ‘quality time for ourselves. There are only so many hours in a day, and for most of us, it’s not enough to do all that we want to do or to do it well.
Complaining about it will change nothing, however, changing our attitude to become more positive will improve our lives and it will also improve the lives of all those around us, including our kids.
Children will naturally seek out the things that make them feel good, which inspires them to be happy, and that stimulates their curiosity to learn more about this beautiful world we live in and the game of life
that we are playing.
What happened to us that we lost this exuberance for life?
We were told we had to grow up and become responsible! HOWEVER, WE WERE NOT TOLD TO GROW UP AND STOP HAVING FUN, AND TO STOP SEEKING OUT THAT WHICH MAKE US FEEL GOOD!
The best way to retain our feelings of wonder and joy about life is to follow the examples set by our children. They never just walk anywhere…. They dance along, make up games all the time, look deeply into things that they haven’t seen before, and ask lots of questions. This is all part of their natural curiosity about life…… before we reprogram them with our beliefs that will, with time, turn them into ‘mini me’s.’ They will then become semi-robotic or unconscious for most of their waking times, just like we have and live a vast amount of time in ‘auto-pilot’ mode.
I don’t know about you, but I would rather live a life filled with joy, excitement, fun, and enthusiasm like a child, than a life filled with pressure, doubt, fear, and scarcity like many adults do!
WE CAN STILL BE DOING THE SAME THINGS DURING OUR DAYS, HOWEVER, IT IS JUST BY CHANGING OUR ATTITUDE THAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO RADICALLY IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF OUR LIVES.
WE COULD THEN TEACH OUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN, BECAUSE OF OUR DIRECT EXPERIENCE, HOW TO LIVE A WONDERFUL AND FORFILLLING, LIFE!
So, if we want to do that which is of the greatest value for our children, we should only give thoughts to that which we want for ourselves and them, and then our children will receive only these wanted thoughts!
Shared with love and respect for all souls who are adventurous enough to play this game of life!