Are you in the habit of making excuses? Do you want to understand why you do this and learn how to break this self-defeating habit?

Are you in the habit of making excuses? Do you want to understand why you do this and learn how to break this self-defeating habit?

There is abundance for all, enough money and resources for everyone to have everything that they desire. So why are we all not healthy, wealthy, happy and wise?

It is our thoughts that either make us poor, sad, sick or wealthy, healthy and happy. The nature of energy, via the law of attraction, ensures that it is we alone who create the current circumstances of our life.

If we chose to believe absolutely in abundance for ourselves, then this is the reality that would become manifest in our lives.

So what has gone wrong with us that we are currently still wanting for more abundance in many aspects of our lives?

pointing the finger

My life is not perfect: I have to blame someone or something for it!

Let’s use money as an example of how the natural laws of the universe control our lives.

If we took all the wealth in the world and divided it equally amongst all the inhabitants of the world, it would only take a few years for the distribution of wealth to be back where it was in the first place. This is because everyone has exactly the perfect amount of wealth, love, free time, friends etc. that they have created by their most prevalent beliefs up to this point in time.

This means that everything is currently perfect according to what each of us has created by way of our thought patterns. But how many of us understand this and can see the perfection in this flawless reciprocal agreement!

If you feel the world is not perfect in any way at all, then you do not know that you are responsible for having created the conditions of your life- absolutely. It is easier to blame others for everything that is wrong in our lives.

‘It’s my husband’s fault for not making enough money, I was born into a poor family, I was bullied at school,’ etc. When we stop blaming everything outside of ourselves and begin to take personal responsibility for our current situation, then and only then can we begin to make a positive difference in our lives.

“Rationalization is a process of not perceiving reality,

but of attempting to make reality fit one’s emotions.”

Ayn Rand.

The past is gone and dwelling on it is not useful and can actually be counter-productive. Instead, we could take control and become responsible for directing ourselves to achieve the things that we want. What is wrong with society, in general, that we have been taught to always be looking outside of ourselves to explain why we are not living the life we want?

How much closer do we get to achieving our desires and goals by sitting back and complaining about something not being right, whining about the unjustness of it all and pretending to be a victim of whatever drama we are currently buying into?

By believing in any of these, and many other excuses, we are thinking that we deserve more or deserve better than we are getting. We don’t actually deserve anything, and the uncompromising universal law of attraction says that we have the perfect life that we have created for ourselves.

By being absorbed in making excuses about things we forget that our focus is better utilized by making the best of every situation, regardless of the outcome.

We each need to wake up and realize that we will get more, be more, and do more when we actually do something to create it for ourselves! Focusing on the good things we already have in our lives with gratitude is a good way to begin attracting more of what we desire into our lives.

No control over our lives

Excuses take away our power to be in control of our own lives!

By coming to understand our excuses we will gain insights as to why we continue to behave in ways that are self-defeating.

A classic example may be that ‘I don’t have enough time.’

Where has your time gone? Are you not gifted with the same amount of time as everyone else on the planet, 1440 minutes every day? How is it possible for some people to get everything they want to accomplish done, while others cannot?

See this excuse for what it is- a cover for the real reasons which may include, ‘I don’t want to do it,’ or ‘there are other things I would rather do!’

Many of you may be sitting there and thinking, ‘yes, but my situation is different and cannot be resolved that easily.’ It is true that when we, and those around us, are in a low vibrational state that it can be difficult to break through our habits to change our responses to stuff that we let negatively impact our lives. However, making excuses for why things have not turned out as we wanted is a way of avoiding responsibility for the current circumstances of our life. Excuses are basically a way of placing the blame of an internal problem on an external condition!

Any time we rationalize why we didn’t do something, couldn’t do something, shouldn’t do something or wouldn’t do something we are preventing ourselves from living more of our potential. By inventing reasons to defend our behavior or lack of action, we are trying to blame our circumstances on anything other than ourselves.

It becomes easy to make excuses for how inadequate and incapable we are due to all the weaknesses we perceive ourselves as having. Fear is the basis of most excuses– fear of failure, fear of change and uncertainty, fear of responsibility, and fear of embarrassment and making mistakes, etc.

Facing and overcoming your fears is the only way to overcome this self-defeating habit!

Take control of your life

Why do we make excuses? And how do I stop making excuses?

Making excuses gives us the illusion of security and lets us believe that we are somehow in control when the truth is the opposite of this. The fear that prevents us from doing anything is keeping us prisoner within our own comfort zone, and the fear will remain until we decide to confront it and break free from our previous limits.

By not challenging our self to constantly reach new heights, we will continue to get more of the same, and therefore we will never know what we are actually capable of!

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”

Benjamin Franklin.

What excuses are you making and why are you making them?

We can learn a lot about ourselves by becoming aware of the excuses we regularly make. They are our teacher and can help us identify our weaknesses and the flaws in our basic subconscious programmes. They can point us in the best direction so we can heal ourselves from the restrictions they have had on our ability to progress in life in a meaningful and positive way.

Will you look back on the past with regret that you did not have the courage to peruse your dreams?

Or will you seek to gain insights into that which currently frightens you so that you can move forward with courage, wisdom, and understanding to creating the life you desire?

Begin now by asking ‘what am I settling for because of the fears that I am now holding on to?’

Solutions to problems

Excuses = My life is hard. Solutions = My life is getting better!

As mentioned, we need to begin by taking responsibility, from this moment, for all the failures and mistakes that we consider we have made. Then we can turn our attention to the strengths we have which will give us a feeling of empowerment.

It is by realizing that our lives are not built on luck or good fortune, but rather on our ability to change and adapt to make the best of any situation, that we can move forward with confidence knowing that we alone are in control of our future.

We can begin by identifying the difference between who we are now and who we want to become, or what we have now and what it is we desire. This information can then be used to create a plan to take us to our preferred future reality.

So, by identifying what steps we can take now to move beyond our excuses we can chart a course to creating our preferred goals. This shift in perception works because it takes the mind away from obstacles and excuses and focuses our potential on solutions and opportunities– and where our attention is focused is where our incredible brains will provide solutions.

Optimism, persistence, confidence, and patience are all qualities that successful people have cultivated to help them reach their goals, and there is no reason why we cannot choose to cultivate these qualities within ourselves.

Just surviving

We are born to thrive: However, most of us are programmed to just survive!

We will benefit by cultivating a feeling of faith in our ability to grow. We need to know that it is our birthright to realize our full potential. It is within us now to surpass all the challenges in our lives.

However, we need to take the necessary steps to make the positive changes that are available to us. It has to start in the present moment because, in truth, this is the only moment there is, the always present, present moment.

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

Lao Tzu

By focusing on the now moment and making one change at a time, then reinforcing these changes through time, we will rise out of negativity and our life will be improved. This is the law of attraction and it uncompromisingly returns to us what we put out.

Conscious creation

Become aware of the conscious creator you already are to create the life of your dreams

It is indisputable and perfect that we always have the life that we ourselves have created. Most people on the planet today are not taking advantage of the knowledge that they can improve their lives simply by adding higher vibrational frequencies to all that they do. By this, I mean to choose love over fear, anger or hate.

Realize that we can all live a life filled with love, joy, and fun, and start to make the necessary changes in your thought patterns to set yourself up for the future you really want.

This may seem like an enormous task, and it is one that continues for the rest of our lives, whether we like it or not. Thinking that we need to spend the rest of our life working on this, can seem daunting and unachievable. However, if we start now, this very moment, to choose ‘positive’ thoughts instead of ‘negative’ thoughts we will be ahead of where we were in the previous moment. So, by focusing on what we can do in each moment to make a ‘positive’ difference, the task becomes easier and achievable.

If we miss some moments and slip back into old habits and patterns of thinking, so what? We should never punish our self for it. Remember we are learning something new, and trying to replace old habits and old patterns of behaviors with something new will take time. Self-punishment only creates more negativity whereas accepting that we are learning to adjust our patterns of behavior and rewarding ourselves with kind thoughts when we succeed (or momentarily slip backward), will uplift us and inspires us to continue.

Learning new things always takes time and we cannot expect to be perfect from the first moment. As with riding a bike, we will initially lack confidence and experience to do the task perfectly. We may wobble at first, fall off a few times, maybe skin our knees, but with practice, we can become an expert.

The length of time required to exhibit absolute confidence in riding a bike will depend on the amount of practice put into it. For some, it will take less than a day (maybe a few hours of constant practice), for others it will take a month (10 minutes of practice a day).

How much time you are willing to put into your personal-development determines the results that you will achieve. So, how important is your future to you?

Any road towards that which is new to us poses challenges, obstacles, and problems. So what! By not beginning the challenge of personal growth and development you are condemning yourself to a life of stagnation. Whereas, any steps challenged along the path is a success!

Are you using this moment to create a better future for yourself, or are you willing to settle for more of the same?

 

I wish you well on your journey of growth and sincerely hope that you use your huge potential to create the life you desire for yourself.

I would love to read about your experiences in regard to how your personal excuses have previously prevented you from achieving your goals. Please leave any comments below.

Shared with love and respect for all beings,

Andrew

About Andrew

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  1. Hi Andrew,
    Really awesome article. I used to make excuses for why I couldn’t do this or that and it got me nowhere. Once I realized that everything was my fault, my outlook totally changed. I was able to realize that I had the ability to change anything I wanted to and if I failed to do so, it was my fault. It can be so hard to get out of the excuse mindset and eliminate those negative habits but it is so worth it. Thank you for writing this.

    1. Hi Dan. I’m happy that you liked my article. It’s good to know that you were able to realize how you were limiting yourself and that you had the strength to change your situation just by changing the way you were thinking about problems. I congratulate you, my friend. All the best,
      Andrew

  2. I enjoyed the journey your article just took me on. As I read the questions you posed, I tried to find the honest answers within me.

    And you are right … by recognising the excuses that I’m making and acknowledging that they are excuses made me realise why I was making them … and led me to identifying the solution to what is holding back my progress.

    Thank you for the brief mentoring session … 🙂

    1. Hi Cath. Thanks for taking the time to read my article. It is good that you did not rush through it, but used it to as a tool to help you to understand yourself better. I’m happy that my words were able to help you recognize some issues and then find solutions to them. All the best to you for the rest of your life’s journey. With respect,
      Andrew

  3. Hi Andrew. Thanks that was a great post and definitely something to help me improve my circumstances. I work on looking at my excuses, but sometimes I forget, and this is a great reminder.All the best

    1. Hi Phyllis. I’m happy that you read my post and that it reminded you how important it is to maintain a positive frame of mind. I wish you all the best.
      Andrew

  4. Hi, what a great article! As humans, I think it is natural to make excuses. For instance, I cant do this because I have to go to work or because I just got back from work and I am too tired. For me, I now try to find ways around this and make certain things work. Trust me, its not easy but I believe this is doable only if we try. I try to complete certain tasks on certain days and this has really improved the way I manage my time. Thanks.

    1. Hi Bea. I agree, as humans, we have been taught to look for excuses as to why things are not working out for us, or why we can’t do certain things. This only serves to take away our power and limit us. It is much better to always try to look for solutions rather than make excuses, as this will naturally empower us. I like your idea of having a schedule to complete certain tasks on certain days. Best of luck to you.
      Andrew

  5. This is an excellent article bro, you really touched a number of important aspects there. The first is on our thoughts, people like to be negative 90 per cent of the time, they think lack and shortage. I myself don’t like such people. This other day,I asked someone who is always negative, why do you always think this way and they told me it’s because they don’t wanna get disappointed if they become are to be optimistic. It doesn’t make sense.

    And the issue of blaming and complaining my goodness. Sometimes we tend to complain about things we can’t even change, the economy, government e.t.c. It’s only a few of us who actually take full responsibility for everything in our lives and surely, those who do, reap the fruits of success and happiness.

    You have challenged me to give up on making excuses bro. Sometimes I am just lazy and that’s when I come up with a bunch of excuses about the cold weather, insufficient funds, having a visitor, the list is just endless. Now I am aware of the consequences and I really want to improve and give up the habit.

    Thank you for the great read, I will keep coming back for more advice on abundance.

    1. Hi Palm. I’m really happy that you took the time to read my blog and glad that it has challenged you to become more positive in your own life. Yes, often we make excuses because we are lazy and it is the easy way out. But if we constantly behave in this way it will impact on us in a negative way. It’s better to be positive and adventurous right from the start. All the best to you, my friend.
      Andrew

  6. Hey Andrew,
    Great post! I think a lot of us have gone through this phase at least once in our lifetime, the only difference is that some people agree and actually took action to become more aware of their excuses, thoughts and try to become better; while others may not take the same path and will forever be in their negative bubbles.
    One of my favorite personal excuses is the “I can’t do that, because I don’t have…”. I managed to become more aware of it, cause I start listening to my thoughts more and start analyzing the reason a lot of my goals haven’t been achieved yet. I tackled it, by start being grateful to whatever I’m having now, to make do with whatever is available and start somewhere, even if it’s tiny. There’s also a book talking about tiny habits, and I’m a 100% believer.
    Keep writing, Andrew. Looking forward for more posts!

    1. Hi Wina. Many thanks for visiting my site and sharing your story. It’s common as you say that most of us go through stages of making excuses for anything and everything in our lives. It is great to hear that you have managed to break this bad habit through self-analysis so that you can create a better life for yourself. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to having you visit my site again in the near future. Kind regards,
      Andrew

  7. I could not agree with you more that we need to change our outlook on life. Inequality exists in the world, in a sizeable part, because of people’s modes of thinking. People to change their outlook. This can come through education, action, or reading blog posts like this one. It will probably be a combination of the three.

    I do have a question though. I like how you recommended we each increase our personal vibration to attract more positivity into our lives. Do you know of any books that address this topic? I want to explore the idea further.

    Thank you for sharing and I hope you make it a great day!

    1. Hi Alex. Thanks for sharing again. As you suggest, a combination of many things is going to help us help ourselves rather than just concentrating on one method alone. Life is holistic and as such, all parts are connected, so doing any one thing affects all other aspects of ourselves. In answer to you question about books to teach you how to raise your vibration, there are so many good books available. Because we are all so different, I recommend that you choose one that resonates with you. Rather than specific books, I would recommend that you use any book, any movie, any hike that you go on as a vechicle to connect deeper to you own essential being. It is how we think about, and the subsequent feelings that we have, that will either raise or decrease our vibration. So choose to be positive, choose to be supportive, understanding, considerate and loving at all times, and you will be actively raising your vibration at all times. I hope this helps 🙂
      (P.S. you could read “the way of the peaceful warrior” by Dan Millman. I think you would like this book 🙂
      Cheers, Andrew

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