Have you ever thought ‘If only they would change this habit or think more like I do, then I will be happier?’ Great concept! However, changing other people in the hopes that we will become happier won’t actually solve our problems!
If you are a normal person, it is likely that you will have had this type of thought or similar thoughts throughout your life, and some of you will have had, and are continuing to have, these types of thoughts often!
- It’s your fault that I’m feeling no good
- If you didn’t have that bad habit then I would like you a lot more
- Why don’t you agree with me so that we can be happy together
- You need to act differently and think differently and then I will feel better about myself
Does any of this sound familiar? If you’re normal, then it probably will. But, do you really consider that it is practical for everyone else to change to conform to OUR ideas on what is good and bad?
If your answer is yes, you are doomed to live an unhappy life….. either alone or in an unsatisfying relationship. Read on to find out why.
Changing Other People Won’t Solve Our Problems!
For Our Life Ending to be Happy, We Need to be Living a Happy Daily Journey!
I have not ever met anyone who does not desire to live a happy life!
When asked what people want to achieve, all of them choose happiness as a goal. No one has ever said to me “My goal is to live an unhappy life.” I guess it’s possible that there may be someone out there that feels like they really need to punish themselves for something ‘bad’ they perceive they have done? However, I have not yet met anyone that wants to be unhappy for their whole life……
Did you get that?…….. PUNISH THEMSELVES! Because, basically, that’s what being unhappy is- a form of self-punishment. When we are unhappy we are in a low vibrational state and low vibrations cause our mind and body stress and to be in a state of dis-ease. If we stay unhappy, angry, jealous, fearful, etc. for any amount of time, we will become sick as our body is degraded by the low vibrations.
So how do we create good feelings for ourselves?
It is quite easy really and we all can do it! We THINK THOUGHTS that will bring us into a state of feeling good, of feeling uplifted, happy, vibrant, joyous, and abundant!
So, there’s no trick to it, no magic formula, no equipment requires, no payments needed….. BUT:
You cannot achieve a state of positive wellbeing if your happiness is reliant on what other people are thinking and doing.
What’s Wrong With Me Expecting Other People to Change so I Can Feel Happier?
Imagine if everyone you knew walked up to you today and each one mentioned one thing about you that they did not like. And imagine if they expected YOU to change to conform to their ideas of what you should be like to please them. Would you do it????
I think not! So why should we expect others to conform to what we think is right in the belief that it will make us happy? And even if one or two or ten of them did, what about the other twenty or one hundred people that will come into our lives and not be as perfect as we want them to be? There will always be a never-ending list of things that people do that we don’t like.
It’s actually just unreasonable to expect others to change for us, and therefore unreasonable for us to lay the burden of OUR HAPPINESS OR LACK OF IT on the shoulders of our family, friends, work colleagues, and acquaintances, on governments, sports teams or religions. The truth is that other people are not here to make us happy. They are too concerned with their own lives most of the time to even consider us.
So, that leads us to the only genuine option: The only real solution for us to find happiness for ourselves is TO CHANGE OURSELVES.
I’m not suggesting anything drastic or difficult, but am only suggesting that we change the way we see the world. And how do we do this? The only way we can achieve real and lasting happiness in our lives is by changing the way WE are thinking!
It is Our Thoughts that Cause Us to Feel Certain Feelings
….. and we can change our feeling at any time simply by changing our thoughts!
When we separate our world up into piles of stuff that is ‘good or bad’ or anything in between, it creates judgment in our thoughts, and consequently we will receive the corresponding good and bad feelings.
So by judging stuff, we are actually giving away control of how we are feeling, (and our overall wellbeing) to our habitual thought processes.
To escape from the trap of having habitual judgmental thoughts, two things are really important.
- First, we need to understand that WE ARE NOT OUR THOUGHTS!
- And secondly, we need to become aware of our thought patterns and change the ones that are not supporting our desire for a happy life
So, we are not our thoughts……. But the thoughts we are having at any given time determine how we will be feeling. And the really great thing about this is that WE CAN CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE OUR THOUGHTS AT ANY GIVEN TIME TO FEEL ANYWAY WE WANT!
I challenge you to think about something negative that happened in your past and try to feel good at the same time or to think of the happiest time in your life and try to feel bad while thinking about it. It’s impossible! This simple exercise should reinforce to you that it is your thoughts that lead to your feelings, which lead to your emotional state of being.
OUR THOUGHTS CREATE OUR STATE OF WELLBEING AT ALL TIMES!
Therefore, our wellbeing is not dependent on what other people think of us, what other people are thinking in general, or on what other people are doing/have done!
Got it??????? Good. So now we can move on to learn how we can become happy at all times in all situations.
Happy Thoughts Can Only Lead to Feelings of Happiness!
In any situation, we can have many different thoughts about what is going on. These thoughts will be specific to us and may or may not be the same as other people involved in the same event. This shows that people have ‘free will’ to think how they choose to about events that are happening. And It is our own thoughts that lead to how we are feeling, NOT the thoughts or actions of others. We ALWAYS have choice, and it is our choice of thoughts that lead directly to our feelings. For example:
- Thinking that leads to unhappiness/stress/disease: You need to be different so that I can feel better about myself!
- Thinking that leads to happiness/ease/inner peace: I accept you as you are without judgment. You are part of the diversity that I need in my life to help me evolve into all that I can be!
The difference in the effect on our feelings and overall wellbeing is profound. Sickness or health, happy or unhappy, are choices we are making AT ALL TIMES by the way we are either consciously choosing to think or subconsciously behaving based on old habits.
Unconsciously reacting based on habits keeps us imprisoned in repeating the past. It is not until we CONSCIOUSLY BECOME AWARE OF OUR THOUGHTS that we can take control of them. And then we have the power to use them to ALWAYS create feelings of wellbeing for ourselves.
This is not as hard as it may at first seem. The most important factor here to creating a life of happiness and general wellbeing is that you must REALLY, REALLY, DESIRE IT! Your desire, if strong enough, will ensure your success.
Can I Change My Thoughts to be Positive in Situations that I am Not Happy With?
Easy! Ask yourself many times every day, “How does my Spiritual-Self, my Soul, my Inner-Being, the higher aspects of My-Self, FEEL about this situation, FEEL about them, FEEL about what just happened, FEEL about……….
Even if we cannot stand the situation, the person, or anything that is happening, it is guaranteed that the higher aspects of OUR-SELF, (that part of us that is connected to SOURCE ENERGY) feels nothing but unconditional love for ALL THAT EXISTS. It simply cannot be any other way!
So, when we choose to pause and become mindful of our feelings and ask ourselves this simple question, How does my Spiritual SELF feel about………? The answer is always one of total acceptance without any sort of judgment whatsoever!
Source Energy, the creator of all things, (including us and those that we may not approve of) cannot see the negative aspects that we assign to people or events. Our Inner Being, or connection to Source, sees diversity and loves it, as it is the diversity that offers us the opportunity to grow and expand our own consciousness beyond what it is now.
What If I Don’t Feel What My Inner Being feels?
Often, we will not allow ourselves to connect with this loving energy. Instead, we remain trapped in a reality where we like to be right, and would rather argue to try to force our point, or just continue to believe that others are wrong. This negativity from us comes back to bite us in the ass as The Law of Attraction gives back to us in equal proportion to what we give out.
Defending how we FEEL to defend our ego, even when it is negative, is a crazy option because we are the ones who are negatively affected by it. The alternative to this is that we would be feeling good if we listened to our inner being.
People who are not tuned into what their Inner Being feels will continue to suffer a life of pain and lack because they are out of tune with their true essential nature and the reasons that our soul chose to become human. OUR SOUL CHOOSE TO BECOME HUMAN TO EXPERIENCE DIVERSITY, FOR All the EXPERIENCES, FOR ALL THE JOURNEY OF GROWTH AND EXPANSION, NOT JUST THE DESTINATION.
Diversity is Necessary for Our Personal Growth and Development and the Evolution of ALL Life!
As Souls, we came into human bodies to experience life in a physical reality. If we all arrived on the planet thinking the same thoughts, knowing the same stuff, agreeing with each other all the time, and liking and disliking the same things, life would be very dull and uninteresting. We would never be able to learn anything new because there would be no friction for us to grow against.
If we now want everyone to be the same as us, (as many people do- including groups of people with strong religious, political beliefs, etc.) then we are denying ourselves the opportunity to grow. And this is denying the very reason our soul came to earth to play at being a human.
We become inspired to create something different when we are exposed to something that we ‘don’t like.’ This creates change which is good for the evolution of humanity and ALL life on the planet.
We came forth with the deliberate intention of being different from each other so that we would have something’s to learn from each other and something’s to teach to others. And if we ask our Inner Being ‘What do you feel about this experience?’ we will feel nothing but love and reassurance that EVERYTHING IS AS IT SHOULD BE.
Overall, our differences create balance in the world. So where we may now see prejudice or hate, know that the opposite also exists. There is the same proportion of tolerance and love available.
Our mission, for ourselves, should be to always try to align ourselves with our Inner Being so that we THRIVE and will have a happy and satisfying life experience.
We should let others live the life that they choose for themselves, as really it is none of your business. At the end of the day, they too are an infinite soul, just like us. And they also have chosen to be here on this wonderful planet to experience diversity, growth, and expansion through experience while in a human body.
So, everyone will benefit when we help ourselves first by aligning with source energy, and then once we are in alignment we are in a good position to be of service to others who desire to know why we are so happy all the time 🙂
What a wonderful life!
Which side of the scale do you wish to align your energy with? You can either listen to your Inner Being and thrive or continue to be in conflict with your soul’s desires for you, and experience pain and suffering. The choice is, and has always been, yours!
Repeat after me: “I choose to align myself with my Inner Being and feel good all the time.”
Repeat the above statement again, and again, and again, and again…………..
Shared with love and respect with the hope of making the world a better place, one soul at a time 🙂