Happy New Year: (Should I Share My New Year’s Goals and Dreams with Others?)

Cyclist winning race

I recently read a quote from a friend who said his New Year’s resolution was to stay away from people who ask him what his New Year’s resolutions are….. haha. And I thought that’s actually a great idea!

Although it’s great to go around and wish everyone a Happy New Year, it’s often not in our best interests to share our (sometimes) intimate plans for the future with everyone. Why? Because our goals may be too personal, or they may not be fully thought out yet. And if this is the case, we are probably still not confident enough in our ability to follow through and achieve them.

After all, if we were confident, and if the goals were really important to us, wouldn’t we have achieved them already?….. or at least already be along the right path to achieving them? And if our goals are new, things we haven’t considered before, or have no experience or skills about, then we will still have to invest time and effort into learning new stuff before pulling them off.

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.” – J.P. Morgan

I say we don’t need to share our plans with everyone because often, they will ‘offer THEIR opinion,’ and the reality is that NOT EVERYONE WILL HAVE AN OPINION THAT WILL BE SUPPORTIVE. And if we are in any way influenced by their opinions, we may be deterred from even beginning the pursuit of that which we considered important enough to us so that we made a New Year Resolution to pursue it.

So, sometimes, it’s a great idea to be selective in who we share our goals and dreams… at least until we are confident enough that we are on the correct path to achieving them!

Happy New Year: (Should I Share My New Year’s Goals and Dreams with Others?)

Achieving New Year Resolutions, and goals in general requires that we appropriately define our goals AND the processes required to realize the outcomes we desire. It’s important to understand that we will normally only ever achieve our goals if we are PASSIONATE AND ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT THE PROCESS AND THE OUTCOME. Therefore, be selective with who you share your goals as some people will be able to support you in numerous ways, and others will just bring you down and hamper your efforts to succeed.

Happy New Year: I wish you success in every way you desire!

Today there is a new energy on planet earth. A rebirth so to speak.

This is a time when it is easier to ‘throw out the old’ and ‘bring in the new.’ I’m talking about energy here…. And since everything is, at its essence, energy, I’m saying it’s a great time to get rid of:

– the old thought patterns that no longer serve our desires for a great life

– our ‘bad’ habits that are keeping us stuck repeating the same undesirable stuff over and over again

– our old friends that don’t want us to grow beyond the ‘self’ that they already know and rely on

– the old possessions that are weighing us down and making it hard to move on

– the relationships that have outlived their usefulness and are now detrimental to our general wellbeing…….

And I’m sure you can think of other things that you would like to leave behind?

“Make New Year’s goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you’re interested in fully living life in the year to come.” Melody Beattie

Today, the 1st of January is a powerful day, however, it is not the only day when we can make profound and lasting changes in our lives. Because the reality is that every day, and in fact, every moment, offers us many opportunities for growth and change…. And making positive change happen is a choice we can make, anywhere and at any time.

However, I’m not suggesting that our previous years have been bad in any way. Because the content of our lives up until this point is what has made us who we are now….. YOU, the person reading these words now.

So, a great way to begin the New Year is to be thankful for the past. Anything less than gratitude and appreciation for who you are now is just going to weigh you down, and that, my friend, is baggage that no one needs!

Every moment we have lived, and every experience we have had has helped shape who we now are. And without the stairs of the past, we cannot climb into our future!

If you are relying on other people to help you move forward, forget it- Most of them know you and like you just the way you are!

When we consider our lives, I imagine (if you are like me) that you want your future to be better than the life you are living today. Don’t get me wrong…. I’m not suggesting that there is anything wrong with our current lives….. but don’t you think it’s just part of our essential nature to seek continual growth and development?

“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.” Nido Qubein

We are born and exposed to life and all of its wonders, and this makes us desire stuff. We then set out to attain as much of it as we can. Then, when we achieve ‘that stuff,’ most of us will look around and say, well… now I also want that, and that, and that. So our lives, naturally, are a continual unfolding of wanting, desiring, striving, and (hopefully) achieving our goals and desires.Man standing on top of mountain banner for Midas Manifestation

I think we are all the same in this…. we live and therefore we want. However, this does not mean that those around us, (sometimes even those that are very close to us) will be happy when we tell them of the fantastic plans we have for our future! Why?……..

Because their lives revolve around them, and around the things they want….. and shock, horror….. they more than likely don’t want the same things that we want….. BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT US!

So, unfortunately, one of the biggest hurdles most of us face when wanting to change is often that we didn’t realize that it would be our family, friends, and co-workers who don’t want us to grow. The problem they have with us growing is: We will change…. and when we do (and if they don’t) we will become like a different person to them.

Our Goals And Dreams May ‘Scare’ Others, And They May Not Like It If We Change!

This can be scary for them as they will no longer be able to predict what we will do and how we will react in given situations. Therefore, they would rather have the security of keeping us as they know us so that they can remain comfortable with the status quo. I.e. so we can still fit in to and relate to our families, working spaces, and social groups.

Unfortunately for us, their thoughts are centered on them and what they want, not on us, and therefore not what’s best for us. They just want to know “How can they remain ‘comfortable and stable’ in the life that they have created for themselves that we are a part of.” It’s all about them!

We can understand this easier if we put ourselves in their shoes. Imagine:

  • Your best friend still expects you to do certain things with them that you have always done.
  • The boss expects you to react in a predictable and certain way to achieve the results that he needs to get the job done.
  • Your mum expects you to side with her when she is complaining about her friends, her husband, the rising cost of living, and the ugly color the neighbors painted their house.
  • Your partner expects you to be there, to cook dinner, mow the lawn, listen to how boring their day was, etc.
“Change can be scary, but you know what’s scarier? Allowing fear to stop you from growing, evolving, and progressing.”Mandy Hale

When you ‘selfishly’ decide that there is more to life than what you are currently living, very few of them will actually support you….. and if you think about it, in a way you are indirectly implying that your life (with them as a part of it) is not good enough and this is why you desire to change.

So, Should You Share My New Year’s Goals and Dreams with Others?

Unfortunately, many people don’t end up following their goals and dreams for a better life because of the influence that other people have over them. And instead, they end up settling for a life filled with unrealized dreams. And they do it so they ‘don’t upset the apple cart’ or don’t rock the boat….. Mainly because they are still needing the approval of others. And also because they are afraid that these people will no longer support them or like them anymore if they want to do something ‘different’ from their peer group.

Is this you? Are you afraid of what others think? Or do you dream of a bigger and better life than the one you are currently living?

“I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.” – Thomas Jefferson

Well, let me tell you, many, many things that you are now only dreaming of are possible for you….. and if you let the opinions of others hold you back, you will end up with lots of regrets later in life.

It’s important to realize that with each New Year, and each new day, we can begin creating ourselves again…. Into the image of what we desire… And if we begin today, tomorrow we will be one day closer to achieving our dreams, and then the next day, another step closer, and the next, and the next…..

…… and before you know it, you will be living the great life that you set for yourself, filled with loving and supportive family and friends (new ones and also those that came along for the ride with you.)

So, don’t live this year the same as you lived the last one. Why not set some challenges, keep most of them to yourself, and quietly work on them until you are confident that you will succeed and not be dissuaded from your goals and dreams by the naysayers.

It is a Happy New Year, and as always, it is always another opportunity to make your lives better, one step at a time!

“New year – a new chapter, a new verse, or just the same old story? Ultimately we write it. The choice is ours.”
– Alex Morritt

Shred with love and respect for all souls playing the game of life,

Andrew

8 thoughts on “Happy New Year: (Should I Share My New Year’s Goals and Dreams with Others?)

  1. I enjoyed this post and completely agree.

    I used to share my goals with others, but found either they were simply perceived as hobbies or were disinterested. I think keeping goals to yourself takes the pressure off and allows you to grow.

    Once they start materialising, then is the time to share.

    1. Hi Kathy.

      Yes, the best time to share our goals is when they have gained enough momentum so that they will not be cut by other ‘well meaning’ people.
      There is nothing worse than having our goals and dreams rubbished by others before we even begin…. so, it’s good advice when you suggest to initially keep them to ourselves until they are growing and the pressure is off.

      Thanks for sharing,
      Have a great day 🙂
      Andrew

  2. This article was great! I think you hit the nail on the head with your perspective on how people view our goals. Even your friends may react adversely to your resolutions if it doesn’t fit their agenda. Often times the publics’ goals and wants will take precedence and conclusions will be drawn based on how it affects them rather than us.

    Very well written and I look forward to more from you!

    1. Hi William. Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my article.

      You are right…. Too many times we give up on our dreams and give precedence to what others think or want. However, this only ever leads us to feeling disappointed with ourselves and is detrimental to our long-term health (if we make a habit of it!)
      Who was it that decided we should put other people’s feelings and desires above our own? Who made us responsible for their happiness? Nobody did! We don’t have the power to influence others… but others can choose to be influenced by things we say and do, and that is a choice that they are making.

      Our only priority should be to live our lives in the best possible way we can in alignment with our goals, dreams, and beliefs. And once we have our ‘lives in order’ hopefully we will be an inspiration to others who are also interested in ‘getting their lives in order’…. and one by one, we can make the world a better place.

      I wish you well my friend,
      Andrew

  3. We enjoyed reading about new years goals and how we shouldn’t necessarily share them with everyone. It’s important that we do not give up on our dreams and that we don’t let anyone tell us that we can not do something.
    This article holds a lot of good value that you talk about. We are going to pursue our New Year resolution goal and that is to start another website.
    We will be back to see your next article.

    Cheers,
    Mathew&Deloris

    1. Thanks, guys for your support.
      That’s great that you have a goal and you are setting out to pursue it!
      I wish you all the best in attaining your dreams,

      Have a great day,
      Andrew

  4. Your friend who wants to avoid people asking about his new year’s resolutions made me laugh. He’s right, though. We shouldn’t share our goals with just anyone. I’m always picky with whom I share my goals.
    The list you shared had a point that made me think. I have been friends with someone for over 20 years. We’ve always gotten along great. We’re very different. She’s high maintenance. I’m not. And there are other differences, but we always were good friends, listened to each other, and were there for each other. I never liked her other friends, I thought that most of them were fake, too superficial, and some of those women were also incredibly mean to me … I never complained about her choice of friends because they were her friends, not mine. I did mention the bullying, though. She didn’t say much about it.
    Last year I disagreed with advice she gave me and it turned into an argument. It was the first time I spoke up for someone I believed in and she wouldn’t let it go. I was a little surprised by it, but your point that friends sometimes do not accept the growth in you (as much as they applaud you for your accomplishments) made me think about that incident. We’re still friendly, but we don’t hang out anymore and she’s always “too busy”. So, I guess I needed to see this point you raised in your article to understand that about her (or us).

    I think that resolutions should be made every day, not just on New Year. People are always so eager to reach their New Year’s resolutions but by the end of January, most of it has already been neglected or forgotten.

    1. Hi Christine, Happy New Year 🙂

      It’s sad when we realize that we no longer ‘fit in’ with the groups of people and the activities that we have been involved with for many years. However, the sadness or lost feeling is short-lived as we are in fact opening our world up to better and brighter things.

      For human beings, change is inevitable… it cannot be denied. And we have the choice to pursue it and embrace it, or to be flattened by it because of our resistance.

      This is why it’s important to think about ‘why we are here, why we are living this life, and why are these people in my life? Are those who we spend our time with enhancing our life experience in a good way, or are they slowing down or even stopping us from having a great experience?
      If someone doesn’t want to be part of our lives anymore, ok, it’s more than likely for our benefit anyway. And as you have said, you have outgrown your friend anyway….. there’s no advantage to you to be hanging around with negative/bitchy people. Instead, focus your energy where it will do you more good….. your overall health and wellbeing.

      Haha, yes, most people do tend to ‘forget’ their New Year Resolutions rather quickly. And I agree with you, that it’s a better idea to see every day as an opportunity to begin again and build upon what we have already achieved.

      I wish you all the best,
      Andrew

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