We wouldn’t be asking ‘How can I let go of the past’ if our memories were all fantastic and life-affirming. This means that what we really want to know is how to let go of the trauma, pain, and suffering that is still having an adverse impact on our lives to this day.
Memories of past guilt, shame, grief, fear, mistakes, etc. do nothing to support our drive to create happy and meaningful lives for ourselves. They just serve to deplete our energy and keep overall health and happiness at bay. So why do we hold on to, and keep rehashing, past pain instead of just getting over it and moving on to better things?
In some ways, these memories provide a certain ‘comfort’ or safety for many people because it’s what they know best. In other cases, some people just don’t know how to move forward and live a happy life. They may be holding onto pain just because they lack the courage to take steps into a future that is filled with uncertainty. For them, it’s easier to keep complaining about, and using the past as an excuse for their hardships, and mental and emotional trauma.
And others who are not letting go may consider that blaming someone else, or some past circumstances, for their pain and suffering means that they do not need to accept responsibility for their current problems. Therefore, if they don’t succeed or get what they want, it’s somehow not their fault. However, as we will discover, it’s always our choice!
How Can I Let Go Of The Past?
The best way to move on from the past is to begin living a life so full of joy, love, and freedom that the old memories will eventually fade away. The new experiences we have, and the resulting emotions we feel, will rewire the neural connections in our brains so that our ‘go-to’ response will naturally become positive and life-affirming.
“In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change, lies our happiness and freedom.” – Buddha
We all know that everything is always in a constant state of change- that nothing can ever remain the same. We are born, we grow through our lives, and eventually, we are returned to the earth from which we came. The very nature of life is that it is always moving, and this implies it is growing, evolving, and continually expanding.
Our lives are part of the natural order of things and are filled with events, people, and circumstances that all have an energy/momentum of their own. Our pain and suffering are caused when we try to control that momentum to suit what we want.
The Buddha realized that suffering was the result of our resistance to the natural way of life. And he suggests that to ease our suffering, we need to learn to ‘go with the flow.’ This doesn’t mean that we let people walk all over us or accept injustices, but instead, that we don’t worry about the things we have no control over. It also means that maybe we could be a bit more tolerant of others who do not share the same beliefs as us.
If we let go of the pain we are feeling because someone did something we didn’t approve of, or our partner lied to us that time, or we didn’t get the promotion that we deserved….. It is we who will benefit by releasing the emotional burden we have been carrying. It is we who will become happier and freer.
“Tell everyone you know: “My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.” And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they’re doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel – and then, you’ll love them all. Because the only reason you don’t love them, is because you’re using them as your excuse to not feel good.” – Abraham Hicks
Put your hand up if you are perfect! No…. I don’t see many hands…..
Guess what? We’re not perfect and neither are other people. We all make mistakes, say silly things sometimes, and do things we later regret. Ok. So what? The world doesn’t stop spinning and the sun still comes up every day. Making mistakes, regretting doing something, feeling grief, etc. are all a part of ALL of our lives and life does not end because of it. This is what it is to be a human being. Growing, learning, and adapting to circumstances are all part of our natural expansion.
So when Abraham suggests we let everyone ‘off the hook’ for everything we perceive they have done wrong to us, it’s for our benefit, not theirs. And while we’re at it, we can forgive ourselves for everything that we think we have ever done wrong and for everyone that we have wronged. Why?….. because HOLDING ONTO NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS HARMS US AND THOSE WE LOVE!
We, and everyone around us, benefit when we are happy, healthy, and successful, while no one benefits from our pain and suffering (except the medical and pharmaceutical professions.)
Now, why not make a conscious decision to go and have a happy, fun-filled day?
“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” – Marianne Williamson
Our energy goes where our attention is focused. This means that if we are dwelling on past regrets mistakes and events, our energy is being held in that vibration. This is seriously not good news for us because The Law of Attraction will manifest more into our lives that continue to match that vibration. So our gloomy, despondent thoughts will continue to haunt us by attracting more of the same into our current experience.
We cannot say ‘I don’t want this or that’ and expect to receive the opposite….. We will get ‘this or that!’ Therefore, focus only on what you do want, and then this is what you will eventually receive.
“Your past does not equal your future.” – Tony Robbins
Holding on to the past is a conscious decision just like letting go and moving forward is also a conscious decision. And the good news is that it is we who get to choose.
So, how often have you been able to make successful plans for a better future while you are dwelling on the past? It just doesn’t work, does it? We have lived through the past, been there, done that, and now according to evolution, it’s time to move forward into something new. And if we are wise, we will be looking forward to making our present and future better than what has come before.
Our magnificent souls desire to experience life, to grow and thrive and have lots and lots of fun while on this journey. So let go of that which we have already experienced and seek out something new to challenge us, excite us, and thrill us. Live each day as if it is the last day because we never know when it will be.
We don’t need to analyze the past or even contemplate the lessons given to us, because it keeps us stuck in that old energy. Instead, know that every day is a new day and with it, we can consciously choose to be present at this moment and also plan for a happier, brighter future.
“You’re not defined by your past; you’re prepared by it. You’re stronger, more experienced, and you have greater confidence.” – Joel Osteen
It’s true that everything about our past has shaped us into who we are now. If any of the experiences were different, yes, our lives would have, in some ways, turned out differently. Maybe our current circumstances would have been better or worse than they are now….. Who’s to say?
The point is everything did happen as it happened, and no matter how much we think about it and wish it had been different, we cannot change it. So why not accept the truth of that and then put your attention where it belongs….. in the here and now?
The accumulation of all that has gone before has given us the mental, physical, and emotional tools that we now have at our disposal. Awesome, because it is only from this point, here and now, that we can consciously choose to move forward and create a better future for ourselves and those we love.
“If you don’t get out of the box you’ve been raised in, you won’t understand how much bigger the world is.” – Angelina Jolie
Choice: Stay stuck where we are, lamenting the past, where life is maybe not so great…..OR…….. OPEN YOUR EYES AND MIND TO MORE POSSIBILITIES THAN YOU ARE CURRENTLY CAPABLE OF IMAGINING!
From where I’m sitting, now, this is a no-brainer… there is no choice. But often we have to overcome our fear of change, the fear of leaving the known and embarking on a new chapter in our lives. It wasn’t until I stepped out of my comfort zone and moved purposefully toward my fears that I realized there was never anything to fear except the idea of fear itself!
There are countless people in the world right now doing the things that you are afraid of. Are they afraid? Maybe, but that feeling doesn’t last long as we begin to move into a better life by doing the things that we have been avoiding, putting off, or were afraid of.
OUR LIVES WILL GET BETTER but only if we do something to make them better….. They won’t magically change by themselves. There is no savior in shining armor coming to rescue us….. Why would they if we are still stuck in the past? Do you think they want to listen to all that went wrong in our past, why we are suffering now, and why we don’t have the great lives we deserve?
Hell no! They are out there looking for people who are progressive, who are enjoying themselves, and who have a great vision for their future…… So, if you want to meet your prince/princess, move on from all the excuses that make you feel unworthy…. Because the truth is YOU ARE NOT UNWORTHY, YOU MAY JUST THINK YOU ARE!
I’ll say it again: CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
“The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” – Socrates
This is an appropriate quote to sum up with. “Building the new.” Socrates is talking directly to us, as we are the only ones who determine the course that our lives will take. And all the building begins with a good foundation…… Our new supportive, positive, life-affirming thoughts are the foundation to create new beliefs within our magnificent minds.
Our positive thoughts lead us to have good feelings which vibrate a signal out into the universal mind and then attract matching people, circumstances, and events into our lives.
And this ties in with what Steven Covey meant when he said: “I’m not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” We can at all times DECIDE WHAT THOUGHTS TO THINK! WE ARE POWERFUL CREATORS, AND DON’T EVER FORGET IT!
And for good measure, just so you don’t think I’m a hard taskmaster and all about ‘doing the work,’
“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.”
– Elbert Hubbard
I wish you well on your journey through life and hope you can make all of your dreams come true 🙂
With love and respect for all souls playing the game of life,
8 thoughts on “How Can I Let Go Of The Past? (7 quotes To Help You Heal)”
“Tell everyone you know: “My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.” And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they’re doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel – and then, you’ll love them all. Because the only reason you don’t love them is because you’re using them as your excuse to not feel good.”
For me – this quote says it all. As I grow older I have come to realize that satisfaction and fulfillment is not something I attain by what I have or who am with but by how I view/treat what/who I have/I’m with, how I react to my surroundings not how my surroundings treat me, that true happiness and joy is from within, and that helps me to put the times (past, present, and future) into the right perspective.
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for your comments, Femi.
Yes, once we come to understand that happiness is an ‘inside of self’ job, then we can claim responsibility for the way we feel and therefore, for the quality of life that we are having.
It sounds like you are well aware of this truth, and are therefore able to create your life on your terms.
I wish you all the best, my friend,
Have an awesome day 🙂
Love the quotes, Andrew
I think my greatest takeaway here is quotes no. 6 and 7.
Because I’m in the process of facing my fears and practicing to think better and live better. And thinking positively to create/make the right decisions.
I’m really trying my best. However, implementing these thoughts and affirmations can be difficult sometimes because reality is looking right at you.
Yes, I know what you mean when you say it’s difficult to stay positive sometimes because often the reality we are facing is not what we want!
Reality is a bit like that…. it sometimes contains a lot of what we don’t want.
One way to look at it is like this: When we go to our favorite buffet, there are many foods to choose from. Some we will love and some we will like. Others we don’t really like and some we think are disgusting. So what do we do at the buffet? Do we put the disgusting foods on our plates and then complain all the while we are eating them? Or do we choose the foods we like and really enjoy ourselves…..even though we know the disgusting foods are still over there on the serving table….. or maybe our family and friends even enjoy eating them?
Stuff we like and stuff we don’t like is always out there. It is all an essential part of the mix of life. The contrast helps us define what it is we do like and then hopefully we are wise enough to build our lives around these things and let the other people get on with their lives in any way they want.
A happy life filled with everything we want doesn’t challenge us to grow beyond what we already know and are comfortable with. Some people still need to have experiences that we may think are ‘terrible’ for reasons that we cannot understand. because within the adversity is the ability to rise up and be triumphant.
Your life is your choice, so choose wisely and you will achieve your goals and dreams 🙂
Wishing you all the best,
I loved this post and all the quotes, and I especially loved the last quote by Elbert Hubbard.
It isn’t easy to let go of the past, more so when the past was difficult, but it can be done, as long as we want to. It’s our decision to move away from the past. Our pasts do not define who we are, but they make us stronger.
As much as people of our pasts may have brought us down it’s up to us to move up again.
Fear often stops us and stepping out of a comfort zone can be scary. It is scary to me too, but it hasn’t always stopped me. Once you step out of your comfort zone and see what you can do and achieve, that fear becomes a feeling of accomplishment and even pride. If you never step out of your comfort zone you will never know what you could become.
Our pasts do make us stronger as you have said. Everything that has happened to us and the way we feel, think, and acted upon it is a part of who we have become….
In a way, we could consider that life is just a big classroom, and we are here to experience the contrast that life has to offer. As I have said many times before, if we were to do only our favorite things every day, we would soon become very bored and lethargic. The contrast of the stuff we don’t like gives us the energy and inspiration to seek out more of what we do like…. it can be like the fuel we need to compel us to create wonderful lives for ourselves.
I like the attitude of pride and a sense of accomplishment when we overcome our fears….. this is what life is all about, expanding beyond our self-imposed limits, to grow into more wonderful beings with each and every day.
Many thanks for sharing once again,
Have a wonderful day,
Hi, Great post.
It is true dwelling on things that have not gone your way will not get you anywhere. I think maybe for the past period of almost 2 years I have been a lot more focused on positive thinking and trying to tell myself as often as possible that I am on the right path. It has helped I think for sure but I do wonder; if people can have underlying issues, like even if they tell themselves good things about themselves if still there is a part of them that doesn’t really believe it. I mean I try to tell myself I am going to make xx money/month and it never happens but I think the ultimate thing is to focus on the present as things can only get better.
Thanks for taking the time to read another of my articles.
Yes, we all have underlying issues that limit our ability to manifest the things we want. And our journey is about overcoming these issues (or bad belief systems) so that we can achieve everything that we desire.
Affirmations are a good way to help create a more positive belief system about ourselves. However, they will only work if we can really ‘FEEL’ that what we are saying to ourselves is true. Affirmations do not work for us and are a waste of time when we are trying to convince ourselves of one thing but we ‘FEEL’ the opposite is true.
For example: You want to make $10,000/month, so you spend ten or twenty minutes a day being really positive and reciting to yourself that this month I will make $10,000, over and over again. Then for another five hours every day, you are looking at and complaining about things that reinforce what it is like NOT HAVING the money you desire…. ie. your current reality!
Which scenario do you think has the strongest vibration? And since our vibration in relation to all things is ‘attracting’ the conditions into our lives, what results do you think you will receive? You will just continue to get more of what you already have…..
To get what we want, we have to change the way we FEEL more of the time…. This changes the signals we are sending into The Universal Mind…..our vibration must become a match to our goals and dreams and then we are sure to receive them.
So to get $10,000/month, you have to begin living your life NOW as if the $10,000/month is already yours. You have to feel like it feels to have it, you have to think like you would when it is already yours, and you have to act like it is already your current reality. If you can do all of these things, your vibration becomes a match to a person who makes $10,000/month, you have in effect become that person….. and this is when it will happen for you!
Yes, focus on how you are feeling in the present, and make your feeling a match to your future self, the future you who has already achieved your goal of achieving $10,000/month, and then it has to come to you.
I hope that is a clear explanation. if you have any more questions, please ask, as I’m happy to help you achieve your dreams 🙂
Have a great day,