If we are living, it means we are interacting with the world and it is the way we are interacting that creates the quality of our experience. Therefore, if we want to ‘Make My Life Better’ we can change the way we are interacting, with our thoughts, feelings, and actions. This allows us to bring about desired changes in our circumstances which will move us closer to how we want our experience to be.
So, are you currently living the awesome lives that you previously dreamed of, or would you like to make your lives better?
Unfortunately, the current reality many people are living is one they have been taught is ‘normal,’ and this is often a life of mediocrity and struggle just to get by. The majority of our time is taken up working for money so we can afford ‘to pay for the right to live!’ (Life was not meant to be this way.)
However, some people are living fulfilling lives with abundance, success, and joy…… and the truth is, the potential is there FOR ALL OF US to do the same.
And before you say that there is not enough money for everyone to be wealthy, just consider this: According to Visual Capitalist, in 2019, the total world wealth grew by $9.1 trillion to reach $360.6 trillion, which amounts to a 2.6% increase over the previous year.
The wealth of the world continues to grow year on year as our abilities to engage in commerce continue to expand. (It seems that the central banks are just able to print more money at will, or just add more zeros to online accounts as required.) So, do not ever think there is not enough to go around, or that by you having everything you want, someone else will be missing out. Because this is simply not true!
Another example of abundance is this; In America alone, it is estimated that 40% of the total food produced each year is thrown out in the trash…… which is more than enough to feed all the starving people in America as well as quite a few other countries!
If there is enough for everyone, why are so many people struggling and not enjoying great lives?
To understand this, we first need to define what ‘a better life’ is, because, contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t just come down to the size of your bank account, or how many luxury cars you have parked in your drive.
The difference between a great life and an unsatisfying life can be measured by the size of the gap between what we want and what we currently have as our experience. For example: If we want a lover to share our journey with, and we don’t have one, then we are not happy. Maybe we want a promotion at work, but a rival got it, therefore we are unhappy. If we want to be healthy but are diagnosed with a disease, then we are unhappy. Overcoming the disease may then make us happy.
If there is a huge gap between what we are now experiencing as ‘OUR LIFE’ and how we would like our experience to be, we would definitely say that our life is not so good. And this feeling of lack leads to suffering in the form of stress, depression, anxiety, dis-ease, etc.
If there is no gap or only a small difference in what we want and what we have, then our lives can be considered good, or even fantastic. Maybe we wanted the latest Porsche but had to settle for last year’s model instead. OK, so we didn’t get what we wanted, but relatively speaking, life is not so bad, yeah?
What influences my ‘wants and desires?’
Our wants and desires are varied and personal and are determined by our expectations. And our expectations are, for the large part, determined by our early life programming, and then also by our subsequent life experiences.
What I mean by this is that if we were born poor, in a country in wartime conditions, success for us may be to raise a family and live modestly in peace. However, if we were born into a powerful political family, we may never be happy until we become the president.
Our expectations are influenced by many, many, factors, including our culture, religion, education, location, family status, etc. and it is our unique set of influences that makes our expectations unique to us.
So, although we all have our own unique set of wants and expectations, it is still ‘the closing of the gap’ between what we want and what we have, (specifically for us) that makes us feel happy and satisfied, or not.
And this means that HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS ARE A VERY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
Having said this, it becomes apparent that there is a common recipe among all people that is necessary to make lives better. This recipe includes a varying mixture of material things, EXPERIENCES, and most importantly, A DESIRE TO FEEL HAPPY AND BE HEALTHY.
In this mix, it is the material possessions that are the least likely component to significantly add any real and lasting value to the long-term quality of our lives. Why? Because they only bring short-term satisfaction, go out of fashion, wear out, and break down.
There is always a bigger, brighter, shinier, and better item marketed to us to draw our attention away from the copious amounts of stuff we already have, (the previous items that we thought would make us happy have lost their desired effect, so why would we consider that buying the next, and the next, and the next, will satisfy us?)
Material stuff is part of our ‘outer world’ and as it is outside of ‘our-self,’ it can only make us feel good for a short time (when driving the new car, using the new phone, etc.) And then when we are not engaging with our stuff, we are back to our normal self, the inner world of our repetitive thoughts and feelings (what did they mean when they said…? did I do a good job at work today…? what if they don’t like me?)
Our thoughts and feeling are our constant companions and are the best measures of the quality of our lives.
We know that we will FEEL BETTER when we lessen the gap between what we want and what we currently have. So, how do we do this?
Basically, we have two options available to us.
1) We can ‘DO’ whatever it takes (TAKE ACTION in the outer world) to achieve our goals (reduce the gap.) This may mean working a second job, longer hours, not going out spending money, exercising more to lose weight, taking a public speaking class….. or whatever is required to meet our goals.
However, not all people who are regularly achieving their goals are happy, healthy, or content with their lives. This is because ‘doing action’ is energy expensive, and therefore we are constantly depleting ourselves and become tired, grumpy, bored, frustrated, run-down, etc. We take action in the hopes of making our future better than our current life is.
However, often, we are sacrificing our current happiness and wellbeing for a perceived future benefit (that may or may not materialize). We lose precious time with the kids as they are growing up, have no time for our aging parents, and neglect our physical, mental, and emotional health in the process.
We have been taught that this is the way to have a great life…… work hard now, so that when we retire we can be happy (later.)
How many happy and satisfied retired people do you know? Yes, there are many, but there are also many retired people who have worked hard for the majority of their lives and are not ‘living the dream’ they were promised.
2) It is the way that we are thinking that is the most important ingredient to LIVING A BETTER LIFE!
There is no secret or magic formula…. it’s all about the way we are feeling the majority of the time. And our feelings are a direct result of the way we are thinking. That’s all! So, changing our thoughts to make us feel better at this moment IS CREATING A BETTER LIFE FOR US NOW—- AND FOR EVERY OTHER MOMENT WE CAN DO THE SAME!
If we can ‘feel better’ at this moment, and the next moment….. and so on, then WE ARE HAVING (CURRENT TENSE) a better life.
“Make the best of it. When you make the best of whatever you’re focused upon, your future will be better than your now. If each moment you’re making the best of what-is, no matter what it is, you make the best of it; make the best of it; make the best of it—your future just gets better and better and better, and better.” – Abraham Hicks
Yeah, but how can I be happy if I am not achieving my goals?
Simple….. YOU CHOOSE IT……… Happiness is a choice, it is an internal ‘state of being’ that we can achieve whenever we want, simply because our feelings are totally dependent on our thoughts, and OUR THOUGHTS ARE OUR CHOICE!
We can choose to think whatever we want, INDEPENDENT OF CIRCUMSTANCES AND EVENTS HAPPENING IN OUR OUTER WORLD!
However, the majority of us spend most of our time NOT CONSCIOUSLY AWARE OF OUR THOUGHTS, and this means that our current feelings are dependent on thoughts, ideas, and beliefs, that are coming from our subconscious minds…….. WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL OF THESE THOUGHTS…… but we are thinking them!
AND THEY ARE DETERMINING THE QUALITY OF OUR LIVES IN THIS MOMENT…… and for up to ninety-five percent of our waking hours!
This is not a good situation considering that psychologists say that more than sixty percent of the thoughts that originate from our subconscious minds are NEGATIVE! We have been programmed, in our early years, with a negative bias…… So, how can we live better lives if we are living life unconsciously (in autopilot mode) most of the time…… we are just going to attract more of the same stuff into our lives that got us to where we are now!
Are you living a great life now?……. Could it be better?……. Yes? Then become more conscious of what you are thinking and make it positive!
There are many ways we could all ‘Make My Life Better.’
Happiness is not so much about achieving goals or not achieving goals. Sure, the satisfaction of achievement can be great, but it doesn’t last. If we set a goal when we are twenty and achieve it at twenty-five, is our life then complete? No, it’s not.
Goals come and go. We achieve one and then we move on to the next, and the next. And this is an important and necessary aspect of life!
It never ends with the accomplishment of one or more goals, because we have an inbuilt drive to grow and develop ourselves beyond what we currently are (no matter who we are or where we are)…… Life is either about growing and expanding, or decaying and dying…..
So while alive, it’s a great idea to keep having goals, plans, dreams, and to keep reaching for the stars…….. Growth and achievement are stimulating, exciting, and fun…. and a great way to live!
Living a better life is about how we are feeling every step of our journey.
So, instead of waiting until we can ‘lessen the gap’ to feel better, why not just choose to feel better now?
In fact, right now at this moment, choose a thought that will make you feel better than you were feeling before you began reading this article. Nurture this thought, and then add more good feeling thoughts to it.
What reactions does this conjure in you? How does it affect your feelings now?
Did you manage to feel better? Do you understand the simplicity of how easy it is to choose thoughts that will make you feel better?
Do you know you can repeat this constantly throughout every day?
I hope the message of this article is clear: Material stuff can, and does, make us feel better and adds to the quality of our lives, but not always, and it is never lasting.
Living life consciously, by being aware of our thoughts, is the key that gives us the greatest power to live a better life…… because when we change our thoughts to become more positive, we are changing ourselves (raising our vibration) and the way we are interacting with our world!
So, be happy now, even if you think you have no reason to. Because the truth is that by choosing to be happy now, your life is better than it was when you were stuck in your repetitive negative unconscious thought patterns.
Shared with love and respect, knowing that the world is a better place because of all the happy people in it 🙂
8 thoughts on “How Can I Make My Life Better? (Changing Our Thinking Produces Better Results Than Action Alone)”
I really hope a lot of people have come across this article around this time of year, as it is the beginning of a new year. I am in a fortunate position to be building a life that I can be proud of, but I’m still not satisfied. In fact, I don’t think I will ever be satisfied because I have a growth mindset.
I think the message you are sharing is very similar and you are helping people to change their mindset from a limited mindset to a limitless/growth mindset. With that kind of mindset, we can make our lives a lot better, and we can help others make their lives better too.
Thank you for sharing such an important and inspirational article. Keep up the amazing work.
All the best,
Hi Tom. Thanks for your comments. They are always appreciated.
I’m like you in that I will always be seeking to learn and do more in life.
Even though I am satisfied with my life as it is now, I understand that I do not want it to be exactly like this for the rest of my life.
If we do not grow, life becomes very repetitive ad boring, so I am always trying to push the boundaries of what I am capable of doing as well as what I currently know and understand.
We a growth mindset, life is always interesting, exciting, and challenging. And for me, this is the whole point of being alive…. to be challenged and excited by the experience of life itself.
I wish you a great day of fun and excitement.
Thank you for such a thought-provoking article.
Yes! People have indeed made materialism directly proportional to their happiness.
I think, most people don’t have the courage to follow their dreams because society negates their willpower by providing the set standards associated with materialism. And that’s why our wants and desires are ultimately causing stress and anxiety issues in our young generation.
Your last advice about living life consciously really touched my heart. I’ve learned it the hard way to break out of the shackles of my negative unconscious. I chose to be happy, and I’m glad I did it! The positivity opened quite a lot of doors in my life.
Hats off to you for writing this marvelous piece.
I’m happy to hear that you have made a conscious choice to be more positive about life.
The way we think makes a huge difference to the way we are feeling and this good feeling is ‘a good life.’
Keep looking for the good feelings all the time my friend and you will only attract good back into your life.
Have a great day!
I agree with you, Andrew, there is abundance everywhere. I just don’t (want to) see it only in terms of money. Focusing on money all too often results in choosing polluting methods, because for instance a plastic bottle is cheaper than a glass one.
Or maybe you put that right in the beginning of your article to make your point. 🙂
It would be nice if people live in the here and now. I remember one of the ex-girlfiends of my son. She wanted them to live together which wasn’t possible until he graduated. All her sentences contained ‘once he is graduated, then…’ giving me the impression she wasn’t enjoying anything of her present life.
Ironically, when he finally graduated, he broke up with her, because he felt trapped and controlled. Poor girl, she regarded the previous 2 years as wasted, but also wasted even more time by feeling sorry for herself and by trying to pull him back.
I have to think about that a lot, now with the virus. I hear people saying all the time ‘once our life is back to normal’. Oops, I even hear myself saying it occasionally! But it’s such a waste. Life still is great, despite the virus. There is still a beautiful nature to enjoy. There are some things we cannot do, so it’s better to concentrate on what we still can do.
It’s like you say, we can choose to be happy. Let’s do that. 🙂
I put money at the top of my article because unfortunately, it’s most often the first thing that comes to people’s minds when they consider abundance. I, like you, choose to see abundance in many different ways, shapes, and forms. There is nothing better than an abundance of good feelings 🙂
“Once our lives are back to normal.” I hear this a lot as well. The interesting thing about this is that prior to this virus, people were already complaining about their lives, so why do they want to go back to the way things were?
You got it when you said we should focus on the things that we can do that will bring some joy into our lives, here and now 🙂
Have a great day 🙂
It’s so true that the vast majority of people chase material gain, and view this as a path to happiness.
However, you are perfectly correct that this “materialistic” stuff will differ from person to person, based on our current cricumstances, beliefs, needs and wants.
I visited various countries around the world, some of which are considered “poor”, and I’ve met people who’s idea of “materialistic happiness” is simply to enjoy a feast of a meal just once a year (and even their version of a feast is in no way comparable to mine).
I’m sure you realise by now through my regular visits here, that much of what you discuss is becoming much clearer to me.
I am definitely more aware that it is me who is charge of how happy I am, and that I shouldn’t allow outside influences to… well.. influence me.
It is a long and sometimes difficult journey, but I am certainly getting better at understanding this.
Funnily enough, just reading the title of your article made me giggle a little.
I know that in the past I myself have Googled, “How Can I Make My Life Better?” as well as “How Can I Be Happier?”
However, even this goes to show that I was possibly looking for something from the outside to help me achieve these things, rather than looking internally, and realising that I possessed all the attributes required.
I’ll even admit that I’ve been through a bit of a “dip” this month, just a few things getting on top of me, and the time of the year holds many happy, as well as unhappy memories.
And just last week after a few days of moping around and feeling sorry for myself I realised exactly what I was doing, and quickly snapped myself out of it.
Ever since, I’ve had a spring in my step, a smile on my face, I’ve laughed a lot, and I really, really do feel as though my life has gotten better through this small transition of focus in my mind.
A fantastic read as always Andrew, and as far as I’m concerned, you’ve nailed it.
It’s great to know that you are aware enough to ‘snap’ yourself out of your mopey state.
Realistically, when we are moping around, we are suffering, and anyone we manage to drag into our drama will also suffer. Once we realize that there is no benefit for anyone, it becomes easier to make a conscious choice to snap out of it and just ‘turn on the sunshine.’
We are living in an extreme, and I think your part of the world is in lock-down again, just prior to Christmas….. I assume it won’t be possible for many families and groups of friends to get together and celebrate as they have done in previous years, and this is going to take its toll, mentally and emotionally, on everyone to varying degrees.
If we are someone who relies on the outer world for our fun, happiness, and stability, we are probably not going to cope very well. However, if we can turn our attention inwards, and decide that the most important thing for us is to remain in a positive state of mind, then we already have everything within us to make this happen.
We can always choose to feel good by looking for the positive in all situations, and by being grateful for everything that we already have.
I wish you all the best, my friend.