Some people in society say they prefer isolation. However, as humans, we are sociable animals. None of us were born alone. We exist because of the joining together of our parents. And depending on our culture and circumstances, it is likely we were raised as part of a much larger family or societal group.
The happiness we experience is largely dependent on the quality of the relationships we can build and maintain. If we are happy at home, at work, in our social activities, and within our communities, then life is great and we have many reasons to celebrate.
However, if any of our relationships are not so great, then we can be miserable and may lose our enthusiasm for each new day. A negative state of mind will directly affect all our interactions and just end up making our lives, and those we interact with, more miserable. Therefore, it’s not desirable to live with ‘bad relationships.’
So, what are some ways we can keep our relationships healthy and happy and therefore make our lives and the lives of those we interact with better?
“Love is a game that two can play and both can win.” – Eva Gabor
How Can I Make My Relationship Better?
There are many small things we can do to positively affect those around us, and I will share some of these with you. However, if our relationships are typically unsatisfactory, we actually need to take a closer look at ourselves. Because the real and lasting solutions are not to be found in changing a few things in the physical world but are to be found within our own thoughts, beliefs, expectations, and actions.
9 Quick-Fixes To Improve Your Romantic Relationship Now
1) Surprise your partner with small unexpected gifts. This lets them know you are thinking of them.
2) Act in new ways typically out of character to add some surprise into your relationship. Being spontaneous instead of stuck in a routine adds spice to any relationship.
3) Don’t expect them to be everything for you. Allow each other time and space to have different experiences and some different friends. In this way, you will have different experiences to later talk about.
4) Go to bed at the same time. This will give some time to talk together, lead to more intimacy and more frequent sex, and….. Physical Intimacy is an important aspect of any healthy relationship.
5) Learn new things together. Maybe you can go to painting or dancing classes, learn new instruments, or go white water rafting. Maybe buy some bikes and go exploring new territory together. Change gives us new sensory information to experience and to talk about. It’s boring to habitually talk about stuff together when you already know how the other person thinks and feels about the topic. So instead talk about something different and you will continue to learn more about your partner.
6) Show affection by hugging and holding hands more often. Look them in the eyes when you are talking to them, or they are talking to you. This shows you care about and are still interested in them.
7) If what they say has pushed your buttons, take a moment to think about it before you react out of habit. Breathe and relax before reacting negatively as a way of deflating a potential argument. Because really, how often does a negative response from you get a positive reaction?
“Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” – Ronald Reagan
Remember, you are with this person because you love them, not because you want to hurt them. Think before you react……. How bad can things really be? Life-threatening? No? Then don’t overreact based on past habits. If you can learn to appreciate them, even in these moments, your relationship will thrive and endure.
8) Offer “repair attempts.” In his book, “The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work,” Dr. Gottman describes repair attempts as ‘Statements or actions meant to defuse an argument.’ Examples he gives include humor, touching, or expressing empathy and caring. We can also show appreciation when our partner shares something difficult for them, or try to find common ground to defuse any conflict.
Gottman believes that “the success or failure of a couple’s repair attempts is one of the primary factors in whether marriage is likely to flourish or flounder.”
9) We should never compare our current relationship to any other relationship we’ve had or to the relationships that others have. Because we are all unique beings, we all have unique dynamics going on within our relationships. And while our problems may be very similar to others, they are not the same, just as we are not the other person and they are not us.
Yes, we can learn from others, and this is at times very beneficial. However, sometimes our partners will not react in the same ways as others in similar situations do. So, our best option to get through our problems is to be consciously aware of what is happening in our relationship, at this moment.
“The Thoughts I Think Determine the Relationship I Attract… You are the thinking, vibrating attractor of your experience;…..
and the thoughts you think determine everything about the life that you live. As you turn your attention toward the positive aspects of the personalities and behaviors of others with whom you share your planet, you will train your point of attraction in the direction of only what you desire. Not only does the power of your thought determine which people make their way into your life, but the power of your thought determines how they behave once they get there.” – Abraham Hicks
The above quote alludes to the fact that we have far more control over the quality of our relationships than we give ourselves credit for. Our ‘control’ begins with the thoughts we are having. They determine, through The Law of Attraction, what circumstances we attract as results into our lives.
Because of this, if we are not living in happy and fulfilling relationships as part of our daily experience, and we want to be, then there is a miss-alignment of our thoughts (which create our reality) and the desires we have (the things we actually want to be attracting.)
I’ll just say a little about this here, and for more detailed information on how to manifest awesome relationships all the time, you can read my post: How Can I Improve My Relationships, and why it’s more important to work on ourselves first!
Why are short-term fixes not the only or the best solution to fixing our relationship problems?
When we go out of our way to do something to please someone else as a temporary measure, it is doing something that we inherently don’t want to do, or that we don’t think we should have to do. In other words, it goes against our unconscious programming/belief system. Essentially, it’s ‘not who we are’ at our core.
So the more we do things out of character for others or keep the peace, the more we are going to end up being in conflict with ourselves. And this all adds up to eventually take its toll on our mental and emotional wellbeing.
The best solution for us, and everyone else is to always be true to ourselves when looking for a relationship. This means that we shouldn’t pretend to be anything other than what we will be once we have found someone and become active in a relationship. It’s all about being honest with ourselves and with our mates…..
In this way, we will attract people into our lives that are a match to our vibration. And if we don’t like what they are mirroring back to us, then we know that if we want our relationships to improve, then we are the ones that need to change.
Shared with the desire to make the world a better place one soul at a time,