It’s not selfish to live your life in a way that benefits you. Why would it be?… In fact, everyone around you benefits when you have sorted your act out and are happy and successful doing what you want to be doing.
When you are following your dreams, you will eventually have much more to share and give to others than if you were giving up your life and doing what others expect you to do… which is draining.
Life is a choice. And you can run around like a chook with your head cut off trying to please everyone else and getting nowhere really fast, or…. you can pursue the things that interest you and live a great life.
It’s not selfish to want to live your life in a way that brings you happiness and peace. It’s just common sense! However, it is selfish of other people to want you to forgo your desires to please them first! And you really need to ask yourself, whose best interests do they have at heart? (Obviously not yours!)
However, I’m not suggesting that you don’t help others, but rather that you first set yourself up in a good position so you can give back in the ways you choose to…. from a place that’s sustainable, and compassionate.
Is It Selfish To Live For Yourself Instead Of Others?
Your life is just that…. It is Your Life! It’s not called ‘other peoples’ lives’ for a good reason. You are a conscious being and as such have free will to do as you choose, as much as you allow yourself to. However, we are conditioned to seek approval from others for validation that we are worthwhile. And this is why so many of us end up giving our time and energy away to others when it would be better spent nurturing ourselves first.
The Issue With Living For Others Is That Their Expectations Will Never End!
So, maybe someone has called you selfish because you are spending some time doing some of the things you want to be doing! Before this insult, how many times have you already gone out of your way to do some of the things they wanted or expected you to do for them?
Once, twice, or maybe a hundred times or more…? The problem with doing things to make others happy is that the more you do it, the more they come to expect it. And then it becomes harder to claim your own time and energy back for your own benefit.
It’s interesting that others can even consider that you were born to serve their needs or fulfill their desires instead of your own. The whole concept of living your life for others just seems messed up to me and just wrong…..
Sure, we do live in family groups and communities and we do rely on others for so many things. As babies, we could not survive if our parents did not give up their freedoms for our benefit…. And we need the services of others to build our houses, wire and plumb them, someone to design and build our TVs, and cars, design our clothes, and grow our food.
And it’s for these reasons, the fact that we can’t do everything ourselves, that we should live our lives in a way that not only benefits us but allows us to contribute positively back to the communities and societies that we are part of.
However, the point I want to get across to you in this article is that being selfish and nurturing yourself to become successful first is important for your overall well-being and satisfaction. However, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be considerate of the needs of others… after all, there is no pleasure or fun if you are the only successful and happy person…..
Putting Yourself First And Living Authentically Will Positively Impact Others
If other people truly cared for you, wouldn’t they want you to be happy doing the things you dream about? I think the best way we can be responsible and show unconditional love is by supporting others in their dreams….. Are you being supportive of others who also want to be in control of their own lives?
Many studies and research, including “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing” By Bronnie Ware, have shown that if people don’t pursue the things they are interested in, they will end up regretting it later in life. And the studies also show that those who do follow their hearts’ desires end up living more fulfilling and satisfying lives.
The conclusions are that living for ourselves and practicing self-care tends to make us overall happier and more successful. And in these busy lives, it is important that we take time to recharge our own well-being so that we can live the best life possible.
Generally, when people are content and satisfied with their own lives, they are more likely and better able to share what they have with others. And as already mentioned, not one of us exists in isolation… and neither would any rational person want to. Instead, we are an integral part of a family group, with friends, all within larger community groups.
And it’s when we are ‘recharged,’ happy, and content, that we can help others on their journey to achieving their own version of a ‘satisfying life,’ (whatever it is that this means for them.)
The benefit of helping others is that we get to live in a community of happier, healthier, and more content people. And isn’t this a much better option than being alone and misunderstood, or even envied by others who haven’t figured out that they need to nurture themselves first?
Once we help them, they too will be able to give back for the benefit of the communities of which we are all part. And therefore, everyone wins!
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” — Steve Jobs
How Do You Begin To Live For Yourself?
Living for others will suck your energy, wear you down, and eventually break your spirit unless you are a strong self-confident, emotionally intelligent person. And you don’t develop these qualities overnight. They are traits that you build over time with experience.
The experience you most need is best gained by following your intuition. After all, we are all unique beings on this planet, and no two of us are here to experience the same lives. So following your intuition is going to give you the best path for you to follow.
And how do you follow your intuition so that you can walk the path that your soul desires for you?
Meditation is currently the best-known tool for bringing your heart and mind into a coherent state so that you can access a higher state of consciousness. Once you are in a meditative state, if you allow it, you will receive prompts, gut feelings, intuitive messages, etc. that will guide you to learning what your soul’s purpose is at this time.
Meditation and Mindfulness are very meaningful ways in which we can nurture ourselves. Much of the confusion we have about ourselves and our lives is because there is ‘too much noise’ going on around us all the time. This ‘noise’ is everything that distracts us from forming a deeper and more meaningful relationship with Our-Selves.
And it is only when we come to know Our Selves that we are remotely capable of living a truly satisfying life…. a life in which we are primed to succeed and conscious of the needs of those around us. Therefore, by being selfish enough to tend to our own needs first, we inadvertently become of great value to the other people that we surround ourselves with and our wider communities in general.
Do yourself a favor…. Learn to meditate today. It’s not as hard as you may think, and your future self will love you for the efforts you begin making today!