It’s not surprising that many people are wanting to know how to feel better considering the current state of the world. There is so much stress, confusion, isolation, and fear, happening in all countries, across all races, religions, and socio-economic groups. It seems no one is immune to the hardships brought about by the pandemic and the draconian measures put in place to try and control it.
However, even before these unprecedented times, there was always a certain amount of ‘suffering’ associated with just living life. We don’t feel good for many reasons, and at these times we often ask ourselves “why isn’t my life working out for me?” It’s almost as if we know we are entitled to feel better than the way we do.
When we don’t know what we want, we are unhappy. When we don’t get what we want, we are unhappy. And when we get something other than what we want, we are unhappy. It seems that the only way to feel better is to know what we want and then get it. However, there is a much bigger picture to feeling better than just getting what we want. So, let’s explore this!
Learn How To Feel Better
Feeling better IN THE NOW moment is easy. It’s usually just a matter of choosing a favorite method of temporarily distracting our bodies, minds, and emotions so we are not ‘involved in the things, actions, and thoughts, that are holding us in a place of discomfort or unease. However, overall well-being requires that we undergo a larger transformation to become more content and a happier HUMAN BEING.
First, it’s good to understand why is it that we are not feeling better.
We need to understand why we are not feeling better so we can work out the best solutions. We are all different and we all go through different ups and downs. This is just a natural part of being alive…. No one is ever happy and content all of the time. And even though some of your friends seem to live a fantastic life on Facebook, the reality is almost certainly much different.
Different can people also bounce back quicker than others. And this depends on several factors. The main factor is the number of ‘tools’ we have at our disposal to counter the downtimes. By tools, I mean, the tips, tricks, and knowledge we have learned and can apply to help us recover.
I think it’s fair to separate those who are temporarily unhappy or down from others who are chronically unhappy and depressed as a way of life. And the solutions to each are necessarily different.
If we are generally happy, optimistic, and satisfied with life, a little ‘downtime’ will be easily fixed. We can use one or many different methods that distract our senses from the issues that are bringing us down.
However, if we are FREQUENTLY feeling down, depressed, stressed, or anxious, it’s because it’s become our habit. This means it’s wired into our neurology and has become our general ‘state of being.’ We have, unfortunately, progressively developed this state over time because of ‘the way we view the world.’
By ‘state of being,’ I mean it’s who we have become because of the way we have learned to think and feel about ourselves, our circumstances, and the events that we experience happening within the world.
We are emotional beings, and we learn by being exposed to a variety of experiences, not only the ‘good’ ones.
We are emotional, mental, and physical beings and all of these aspects are important to acknowledge and experience. The ability to think and feel is what makes us human. However, while it’s important to recognize and experience negative emotions when they arise, continually focusing on and revisiting the cause of the negativity is not at all beneficial for us. You can explore this further in my post: What is EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?
If we were an animal and a competitor came and stole our mate, what’s next? We would continue as best we could for as long as we can…… animals are compelled by nature to continue to follow the program that is particular to their species.
However, we are human, and we are gifted with the ability to think and reason. This opens us up to being able to make choices. So, if someone steals our mate, we have a range of options to choose from. They range from violence, depression, sadness, hate, and anger, all the way through to relief and appreciation (because if our partner wanted to go, maybe our relationship wasn’t really that good!)
Let’s assume we are feeling down in the dumps, lonely, sad, or depressed, for any number of other reasons. What can we do to feel better?
What can we do if we don’t know why we are feeling down?
If you are normally optimistic but are now feeling down, first, take a moment to check in with yourself.
Get comfortable somewhere you won’t be disturbed for a while, and take a few slow, deep breaths.
Don’t force it, just allow your breath to find its own rhythm. This may take a minute or more, depending on your experience.
Next, become aware of how your body is feeling. Notice any movement, tingling, or sensations, without judgment. Allow your mind to wander from one sensation to the next, without the need to analyze or understand anything. Spend as long as you want here. This can be a very satisfying process.
Then, begin to notice your thoughts. Just sit back and ‘watch’ them traverse the endless space of your mind.
Allow them to flow at their own pace without holding onto them, without judgment. Stay with this until you are very comfortable.
Then, ask yourself “How am I feeling now?” Don’t think of an answer, or try and force anything. Instead, just ‘allow’ the answer to be revealed to you in its own time. Feel it! Just sit with it for a while, and experience it.
Your feelings are an experience that you are having and you should not deny or suppress them. If you do, they will come back again and again, until you have experienced them and either learned from them or resolved them.
It’s more important to experience the emotion (vibration) and ‘complete it’ (if it is negative) than to mentally analyze and understand it. While here in a relaxed state, you may get an insight into why you are feeling this way. This may be enough for you to understand how to move on to begin to feel better.
Is it a problem if we are still unsure of why we are feeling down?
If you received an answer from the process above, great, now you will know how to move on past these temporary ill feelings.
If you didn’t receive an answer, don’t worry because mental answers are not always appropriate for emotional issues. Maybe you don’t have a reason, or maybe the answer is not important. What is important here is the feeling!
Because we live in a vibrational universe, we should always care about how we are feeling.
It is our feelings that vibrate signals out into the universal mind and attracts matching conditions back into our lives. This means that if we stay fixated on any specific feelings, we build up momentum that will attract more of the same feelings back to us as circumstances, events, and people, into our lives.
Your current feelings are made up of what you have been thinking and doing before feeling this way. This is why we need to become aware of how we are feeling at all times. Even now. How are you feeling at this moment? Would you be happy to receive ‘MORE’ of the same feelings over and over again? Then continue to think and do similar things that led to the creation of this feeling/emotion and because of The Law of Attraction, you will receive more of the same.
If you are not happy with your current feeling, you need to change something NOW!
For a quick pick me up, there are many things we can do, and I’m sure you already apply some of them to your lives. They require that we remove our attention from the thoughts we are currently thinking that are bringing us down. Our attention can then be focused somewhere else that we know will stimulate better thoughts which will make us feel better. They may include things like:
- Open your windows, get outside and walk on the grass, smell the breeze, and feel the sun on your bare skin. No sun? Why not dance in the rain? And all the while, breathe deeply, for these things are the foundation of all our lives.
- Take time to play with your kids or with animals. Look at life through their eyes and their innocence. Notice how they ‘live in the moment’ and be inspired and refreshed.
- Put on your favorite music and sing loudly and explore new movements….. move in ways you don’t usually move, and laugh loudly at yourself, just for the fun of it. This will stimulate the release of ‘happy’ chemicals in your brain making you feel good.
- Get plenty of direct sun on your skin. The production of vitamin D and serotonin depends on it. A minimum of 20 minutes a day is required to ward off depression. Without the sun, we cannot live. Be grateful that the sun freely gives us its life-giving energy.
- Just take a break and connect with friends or watch something inspirational. Talk to someone who makes you laugh, or laugh at the TV. Why? Because either action will make you feel better! And feeling better IS BETTER than moping around feeling sorry for yourself.
- Go and do something nice for someone else! The smile on their face, the love, and appreciation in their hearts will be enough to cheer you up. Gratitude and appreciation are contagious!
- Get out of your routine and go and do something new. Get a massage, go to a golf driving range, or just go to a new café and make a conversation with someone new. Who knows what fun you can have!
- Get a hug…… smile and fake it until you make it if you have to. Smiling in public attracts interesting reactions and interactions from others…..Don’t believe me, why not give it a go?
As a bonus, Patia Braithwaite, in her article “Ways to feel better right now” offers two more ideas that I agree with. They are:
- Watch a cute animal live its unbothered life.
- Have sex with yourself or someone else.
The above ideas are temporary fixes for people who already feel good most of the time. However, if you need to feel better a lot of the time, more permanent solutions are required.
Our condition, or state of being, is something that we have developed over some time. If we are often depressed, grumpy, sad, etc. these conditions have become part of our personality.
For a fix that will allow us to change our predominant state of being to become a genuinely more happy and loving person, it’s going to take time. It was a ‘progression’ that got us here, not a single incident that has caused us to be this way. This means we will have to change some of our ingrained beliefs and habits also in a progressive way.
Here are some ways of undoing our self-destructive ideas so that we can begin to feel better and eventually lead happier, more abundant lives:
- Accept responsibility for your current circumstances and don’t blame others for the way you feel. Our feelings are a result of OUR thinking and acting. No one else has the job of fixing us, because they are all too busy with their own issues.
- Face your fears by stepping out of your comfort zone. Expansion and new experiences give us courage and more confidence. Here, we will learn that we are in control of our bodies, minds, and emotions.
- Focus on what you can control and do what you enjoy more often. Know that it is ok for you to have a good time and to feel good! In fact, it is the only responsible course of action.
- Learn to appreciate yourself, your body, mind, and soul. You are a divine being- and don’t ever forget it! Fall in love with yourself for all that you have done can do, and hope to do…. Motivate yourself to do more and more, just for the hell of it, just for the fun of it, and just for the experience of it!
- Release all judgments against yourself and others as well as events and circumstances in your life. Life just is: it’s neither good nor bad, BUT how we think about it makes it so! Our perception of life is only that…. A perception we have based on how we think and believe. Change your beliefs and you will change your world!
- Stop watching Main-stream-media and consuming so much garbage on social media. Its continual bad news is poison for our body, mind, and soul!
- Learn and practice mindfulness and/or meditation for your mind. Yoga, Tai Chi, Chi Gong, and martial arts are great for the body and emotions. All are good for our energy (VIBRATION).
- Avoid things and situations that provide only short-term gratification but are harmful in the long term. This includes ‘rubbish’ foods high in sugars and other nasty stuff, overindulging with alcohol, chocolates, ice cream, TV, shopping, etc. They will harm you and your self-perception in the long term. They only give temporary relief and long-term destruction of your body and mental and emotional energy.
- Sleeping well is important for optimum health. If you are not sleeping well, try and find out why, and do your best to get a good night’s sleep, every night. It’s important to go to sleep in a positive frame of mind. Then waking up will be a pleasant experience and set you up for a great start to the new day!
- Most of us already have things that we really enjoy doing. Go and do it, and spend more time doing it. Passion promotes joy, and joy promotes overall mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
- Make a list of all that you are grateful for. If nothing else, be grateful that the sun comes up every day, and that we all have air to breathe to sustain our lives. The way we view life determines how we feel. CHOOSE TO VIEW LIFE FROM A POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE, AND YOUR LIFE WILL IMMEDIATELY IMPROVE.
Feeling better requires that we take control of our state of mind. This can be very challenging, however, it is very possible for those who are determined to live happy and successful lives. You can do it!
Maybe we didn’t choose all of the stuff that is currently happening around the world and affecting all of us in many different ways. Currently, people are dying, getting sick, losing jobs, being locked in their homes, going broke, etc. None of us would have wanted this, but it is happening.
Our challenge to remain happy and abundant requires that we focus on what we are still in control of. And that is our minds. The way we respond to circumstances and events is always a choice.
Our choices determine who we will become at the end of it. Do we have it within us to be kind, compassionate, considerate, sharing, and supportive? Or will we allow our beautiful world to descend into chaos fuelled by fear?
Whatever choice we make, we need to know that we will come through these rough times, and we will be sharing the world with others. I wish to be sharing my space with those that offered help and support when needed, those that recognize that we are all in this together, and those who are willing to rebuild communities based on equality and cooperation.
Are you willing to heal yourselves to become part of a ‘better feeling’ new world?
Why not do what I do to feel better?
I write this page and many others like it on my website. I do this as a passion in the hopes that I can inspire others to take control of their lives, and learn to live in ways that bring them much abundance, joy, love, and satisfaction.
Is there something you are passionate about, something you are knowledgeable about, or something you wish to learn more about? Then why not begin your own website and share what you learn and know with others? It’s much easier than you may think with the many free tools available with Wealthy Affiliate.
6 thoughts on “Learn How To Feel Better: 8 Quick Fixes And 11 Permanent Solutions”
What an extensive and inspiring post! I am fascinated by how much knowledge you have in the field of psychology and the way you advise people. Nowadays, when dissatisfaction, depression, and ignorance reign, your site is a real refreshment.
I like the way you come out of problems and the way you solve them. I agree with all methods of eliminating stress and depression. For me, the best is a hug. There is no better cure for me when I am depressed and sad than to hug and touch a loved one. Probably everyone has their own method to feel better. Like you said the problem is not when we occasionally feel sad, because it’s normal. The problem is when for a long time we can’t get out of the sadness that grows into chronic depression. It’s all in the head and there’s no person who can’t train the brain to think optimistically.
I have a question for you and I am very interested in your answer. What is your opinion about using medications in the treatment of some more severe conditions? Do you think it is good to combine them with the methods you advise or even without them improvements can be achieved in more difficult conditions?
Thanks for the reply and keep helping people!
All the best,
Hi again, Danijela 🙂
Thanks for your kind comments.
Ignorance reigns because the majority of people are not taking responsibility for their own lives. This can only end when we realize that we are a ‘being,’ a single player in this game of life who is intimately connected to all other life on this beautiful planet. We are all in this together!
Our quality of life and the experiences we have are our choices, and the choices we make are dependent on the environment in which we immerse ourselves. Ignorance is not realizing that we are making many choices each and every day…. however, most people continue to make similar choices that return similar circumstances back into their lives…..
I think I have to put in some sort of medical disclaimer here or I may be sued by the very powerful pharmaceutical and medical organizations.
So here goes: “I have never studied medicine or psychology. Everything I write is my ‘opinion’ based on stuff I believe to be true at this time. However, just because I say something, does not mean it is true, it is my opinion only. And if anyone has any genuine problems they need to seek out the advice of a ‘medical professional.'”
I trust that will cover my ass???
So, “in my opinion,” I believe everything we need for a happy and well-balanced life can be found in a natural way, in a way that compliments nature. By this I mean, for me, if I had a headache, I would rather go for a walk in the fresh air along the beach rather than take a pill that contains chemical substances (some of which may not be natural and therefore have no place in a healthy body.)
With a natural approach in mind, I also strive to keep my body healthy so that my immune system is robust and able to do what it is designed to do, which is fight off any foreign materials that may attack my body.
Our minds also need to be maintained so that we do not become stressed, anxious, depressed, etc. These symptoms are the result of when we are not maintaining a balanced healthy lifestyle. If we work too much and are under pressure often, we will become stressed. For me, the long-term solution is not taking a pill (although maybe a good idea in the short term) but in changing our lifestyle to alleviate pressure in the work environment (or whatever it may be) that is causing us to become stressed. FIXING THE CAUSE OF THE PROBLEM, NOT THE SYMPTOMS is how we will create better lives for ourselves. This is a holistic approach that requires us to accept responsibility for all spheres of our lives.
People are busy these days, and there is a lot of stuff happening all the time…. however, our lives are still our choices. We each need to ask ourselves, do I want to take these pills to help to reduce the symptoms of stress (or whatever condition they have) so that I can continue to work in this stressful environment (bad relationship, etc.) OR: Do I deserve a better life than this?…. What can I start doing now that will ensure that my life is better in the coming years than it is now?
Here and now, a combination of pills/medicines and small lifestyle changes may be a good beginning. Longer-term….. for me the choice is self-responsibility!
I wrote a book a while ago. It was never published. However, I remember the research I did uncovered these two interesting quotes:
“There are no objective tests in psychiatry-no X-ray, laboratory, or exam finding that says definitively that someone does or does not have a mental disorder.” “It’s bull—. I mean, you just can’t define it.” Allen Frances, Psychiatrist, and former DSM-IV Task Force Chairman.
“Virtually anyone at any given time can meet the criteria for bipolar disorder or ADHD. Anyone. And the problem is everyone diagnosed with even one of these ‘illnesses’ triggers the pill dispenser.” Dr. Stefan Kruszewski, Psychiatrist.
I’m not sure if I have answered your question????
Let me know if there is anything else you would like to discuss.
Have a great day, Danijela
These tactics that you use and discuss are great to use and follow if you want to get over things quickly and sort things out and clear your mind. We use lots of these suggestions you came up with to declutter your mind to learn how to feel better about things in life.
We are going to pass this on to others.
It’s actually easy to change our mood relatively quickly, and yes, the methods I have listed are very beneficial. They are very good ways of temporarily distracting our senses away from what’s currently upsetting us.
While researching this article, I was surprised that the most popular articles around this topic only offered these temporary fixes and none of them discussed our ‘programming’ or beliefs around happiness, worthiness, and self-love.
As I mentioned in the article, if we want to become a genuinely happier person and live a better overall life, then we need to change the beliefs that we are holding onto about life. And these ‘fixes’ do take time and effort. Luckily there are many great programs available that assist us to do exactly that, and you can find a list of programs that I have used and reviewed here: Awesome products to help you evolve.
For me, I always like to remind myself that life is made up of many different choices every day. Some things we choose will take up closer to achieving our goals, while other choices we make are not in our own best interest. Will what I choose to do next take me closer to becoming the person I wish to be, or not?
Have a great day guys,
So many takeaways from just this article alone.
You are right, mental health at this moment is highly important and your article provided fantastic points for self-reflection.
For the longest time, I was blaming things that were out of my control. The negativity really consumed me – I was easily agitated and lacking sleep.
Yoga has helped me a lot, as well as sharing conversations with the right people.
A positive mindset is a habit and yes, it will take a while to unlearn and relearn. But it’s the first step to seeing the beauty in life and its challenges.
This article is a great self-reminder! Thank you.
Yes, we are going through unprecedented times when so many people worldwide are being subjected to external events that are beyond their control. And this makes it even more important for us to begin to look into our internal world, of thoughts and feelings, for solutions to our suffering or dis-ease.
The stresses imposed upon us by external conditions will keep changing and will never end. this makes it impossible for us to find permanent solutions to our desires for wellness, balance, and sanity, by focusing on and continually reacting to stuff that is outside of our control.
To live a great life, a happy life, we, therefore, have to go within…. This is the only environment we can have control over. However, it does take time to unlearn all of the conditioning that society imposes upon us that makes up believe that if we are ‘looking after ourselves’ then we are selfish.
I say, Let there be more selfish people in the world…. people who are willing to sort their lives out to the extent that they are strong, powerful, and capable of helping others in positive, pure, and deeply meaningful ways…. The alternative is that we all feel powerless and just continue to support the existing status quo of giving our power away to big government or big pharma, etc.
I congratulate you for taking up yoga and having a good group of supportive friends….. We are all in this together, and need to rebuild our support structures from a community level, because who knows what’s going to happen next!
I wish us all the best, and as always, suggest that we find the fun aspects of living so we can enjoy this journey of life 🙂