What can you do when no one supports your dreams?… You should follow your dreams, regardless of what others think!
However, this does not mean that you should automatically write off any negative voices that are not supporting you in your dreams. Because, even though most of those who are un-supportive are probably reacting from the perspective of their own self-limitations and negativity, some of the dissenting voices may be coming from a place of genuine love and wisdom based on experience.
So, as with all things, the more you can understand yourself, (your motivation and passions) and your relationship with your environment, the better equipped you will be to make the best decisions for you.
What Can You Do When No One Supports Your Dreams?
It’s a real ‘dream-killer’ when your family, friends, and colleagues don’t support your dreams. But this in no way is an indication that you should not follow through with them. Because what other people say to you is an indication of their limited beliefs and fears…. They are not yours unless you allow their psyche to influence you… You need to know that if you have dreams you can achieve them and so you should pursue them!
Why Don’t Others Support Your Dreams?
We are all unique individuals with our own beliefs, fears, abilities, and quirks. And I can imagine that you have, in the past, not supported someone else when they came to you with a bright idea they had. Do you remember why you were unsupportive?
– Maybe you could immediately see the flaws in their plan and felt that it wouldn’t work for them.
– Perhaps you didn’t think they were capable of doing what was required or lacked the necessary knowledge or skills to achieve their goals.
– Or are you a parent who is concerned for the future of your kids? And therefore, it’s only natural that you would like to see them have a relatively ‘safe’ and stress-free life. You would rather they choose a well-known path of conformity than a riskier option. You believe it’s safer for them to get a solid education, then a job with a reliable firm, settle down and have kids, etc. like ‘normal’ people do.
And these reasons and more are probably some of the reasons that others have for not supporting you now.
The Ones You Love And Respect Will Usually Be Acting Out Of Concern For You….
Other people are constantly projecting their own fears and limitations upon you. Most of them have no malicious intent, it’s just that they can only act from the information they already know. They cannot ‘teach’ you something that they are unfamiliar with or know nothing about. And it’s likely if you are sharing a new concept with them that they won’t fully understand what you are talking about.
If their support is important to you, you can try to win their approval by giving them more information to ease their lack of understanding. However, there may become a point that if they still don’t get it, you must pursue your dreams regardless of what they think…. Why?
…. because you’ll find that the regret of giving up your dreams because of the opinions of others, who are too small to understand them, will stay with you for the rest of your life!
As I mentioned above, ‘safety’ is something that most people want for their loved ones. So they will share their ideas with you in the hopes of leading you on a path that will ensure your relative success with the least amount of risk to you.
However, you are entitled to live your life the way you want, just as they are living their lives in a way that best suits them…..
And yes, many people are ‘happy’ to be safe, small, and conformist…. But the dreamers like you and I are not! We inherently know that the world is a big place, and it’s filled with countless potential and opportunities. And so much of it cannot be reached, felt, experienced, or lived if we do not follow our dreams.
Other People May Not Support You Because…
1) By revealing your dreams to them, you may make them realize that they are living a pretty uneventful life, devoid of motivation and drive. And it would crush them to see you achieve your dreams, so they try to encourage you to give up before you begin…. just so they don’t feel smaller than they already do when you succeed.
2) They may have spent their whole lives following the decisions that other people make for them, at work, in their relationships, and by society’s rules. For them, the concept of stepping outside of the box of conformity is beyond comprehension…. It’s like breaking their ’laws’ of self-regulation. And if you follow your dreams and succeed, the whole belief system they have built their lives around will crumble…. And this creates a lot of fear and stress for them.
3) This is from a post I read on Quora and unfortunately I’ve lost the link to the contributor…. However, it is worth sharing:
“Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you. So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Believe me. You’ll be happier.”
The above quote is talking about people who generally have a ‘shitty’ life. These people won’t support anyone’s dreams, so you should not take their opinion seriously. In fact, why would you even be hanging around with people like this, who are down and out about everything in life in general? There is absolutely no advantage in sharing your dreams with these types of people, and absolutely no reason to listen to their opinion of what you can and cannot do!
4) Not so extreme are the encounters you may have with people who you just catch at a bad time. And, realistically, we all have bad days now and again, when we say things out of character. So if you thought you would get a positive supportive reaction out of someone, and you didn’t, maybe you just caught them at a bad time.
Perhaps they just received bad news at work, failed an exam, or their kid is sick. After all, they are human and are reactive to the stuff that is happening in their environment just like we are.
Maybe you could share your dreams with them at a ‘better time,’ a time when they are more open to listening and understanding how important your dream is to you. If you get a better response, that’s great. If they are still unsupportive, move on and don’t share your dreams with them again.
The above situations can be all too real and sometimes can cut us deep. And sometimes, just becoming aware of the reasons others have for not supporting us is enough to help us overcome our ‘need’ for their approval.
If however, you feel like you need something more, it may be a good idea to talk with a professional. The friendly team over at online-therapy.com has helped 10’s of thousands of people just like you and me to become more confident, secure, successful and to lead happier lives. Why not take their short Free online “How Am I Doing Test” to see how they can help you?
This Is Your Life, And You Should Live It In A Way That Makes You Happy!
The best thing you can do is ‘be yourself!’ After all, no one knows you better than you, and no one else has the same goals and dreams as you do.
If you want your life to be rewarding and satisfying, you will not let other people ‘dump their garbage on you!’ Instead, you will follow your dreams and pursue your goals to the best of your abilities.
If no one around you is supporting your dreams, stop sharing your ideas with them…
… If you think about it, why should they support you when they are busy trying to make sense of their own challenges, dramas, and problems…. and why do you need their support anyway?
I know it would be nice to have those you care about on your side all the time, but realistically, this is an impossibility. So, if you are passionate about achieving your goals and dreams, stop caring so much about what others think, and just get on with doing it!
It’s much easier to go and find others who are already doing the things you want to be doing than to change the opinions of those who are unsupportive. So, make some new friends, join groups that are actively engaged in the type of things you wish to be doing, and just get on with it. Energy is contagious and good vibes are crucial for success.
While opinions from others in your inner circle can sometimes be helpful, you should never let them crush your dreams. You will always be better off in an environment surrounded by supportive people…. and until you find them, you can go it alone with the realization that your journey may at times be lonely….
….. however, the journey to success is worth it! It helps to remember that life generally is not a series of events from success to success, but rather a series of lessons that we get better at as we walk our own path…. So, breathe and relax into the journey…..