Why Do I Have Negative Self-Talk and How Can I Change It To Be Positive?

Why do I Have Negative Self-talk-Stressed out woman with hands over face

The most powerful tool we have available to us is our ability to think. It is our thinking that gives us our unique version of reality. And unfortunately for many of us, the way we view life is through a negative lens. Yes, many of us are afflicted with too much negative self-talk. And it really sucks.… especially when we notice others who just magically seem to have happier and more fun-filled lives than we do!

So, naturally, ‘Why Do I have Negative Self-Talk, And How Can I Change It to Be Positive’ is a question we are justified in asking…… It means we are at least aware that not all is right in our lives, and that a better way of viewing and living life is possible. And after all, why shouldn’t we get to enjoy more of the fun times?

So, let’s explore why we have negative self-talk and how we can change from a negative bias to a more positive mindset…. one where we can be enjoying more of the everyday moments of our lives.

Why Do I Have Negative Self-Talk and How Can I Change It To Be Positive?

If you are having negative thoughts about yourself, others, the environment, and life in general for much of the time, it’s because it’s become your personality, your predominant state of being. It’s a state that you now identify with and revert to quickly and easily, without conscious thought. However, it’s important to understand that nothing is permanent, and you can change your mindset to be better. The way to do this is by consciously choosing better thoughts more often. The Benefit is that better thoughts will result in you feeling better about your life.

Why Do We Have Negative Self-Talk?

None of us want to wake up every morning feeling angry, sad, depressed, anxious, etc. It just doesn’t seem right for us to be moping around when others are smiling, laughing, and optimistic. We are not alone in our suffering as negative self-talk is a problem that affects many people. So, don’t ever think that there is something wrong with you or that you are suffering alone.

The thoughts we think most often are habitual. They come from thought patterns that have built the strongest neural connections in our brains. And this is why they can ‘fire’ the quickest and the easiest when we are not consciously engaging our minds with new thoughts and activities. Our habitual thoughts are the ‘go-to thoughts that occupy our minds when we are operating in autopilot mode (up to 95% of our waking lives.)

Therefore, if we learned to be negatively biased when we were young, and have not consciously changed this habit, then our negative self-talk is going to continue to dominate our mind space. Thinking negatively is a bad habit, that’s all. And luckily for us, our current circumstances and thought patterns do not predict our future.

Yes, we can fix our problem of too much negative self-talk. Then we can live better lives- Lives free of self-doubt, insecurity, fear, scarcity, and all the negative stuff that is currently impeding us from having the wonderful and fulfilling life we desire…… and, it all begins by changing our predominant thought patterns.

Why Are Our Thoughts So Important For Our Well-Being?

Rewrite History Reviews-childhood-quizEverything begins with our thoughts. Humankind CAN NOT imagine, do, or create anything without first having a thought! So many wonderful things and horrific things have been done throughout history, and they only ever happened because someone first thought of them and then acted upon their thoughts.

No one else has the power to force any thoughts into our minds. Therefore it is our responsibility which thoughts we choose to have. This means we have the creative power to think and then act in ways we choose at any given time. And this makes us solely in charge of our well-being. Why?…..

……because It is our thoughts that lead to our feelings and subsequent emotional state. Our thoughts also determine the actions we will take (or not take) throughout our lives. And when all added together, our thoughts, emotions, and achievements (through our actions) are the determiner of the quality of our lives…..

…..the quality of our lives is a direct result of all the thoughts we have had in the past. So, if you are in any way not happy with your life or some aspects of your life, then you need to change the relationship between the thoughts you are having and the outcomes you are achieving. Because…….

….. the thoughts we are having now, at this moment, are contributing to creating our future.….

What do you think? Is your future going to be better than your past based on the thoughts you have been thinking today?

How Can I Stop Having So Much Negative Self-Talk?

The only requirement to fixing the problem of negative self-talk is that YOU HAVE TO WANT TO CHANGE! Are you ready to start enjoying more of your life?……. because that is what is going to happen when you think negatively less of the time and positively and optimistically more of the time…… and who doesn’t want to feel better?

So, how do we do it?

Brain with text "reset your mind."The only way out of negative self-talk is to replace the undesirable thoughts we have with desirable thoughts. However, this is easier said than done! Why?……

…….. because it’s taken you all of your life so far to get your brain thinking in the patterns that it currently does. Your current electrical circuitry is firmly established to ‘fire’ in well-worn arrangements (habitual patterns.) And if these patterns are negatively biased, it’s going to require a ‘change of mind’ regularly to reprogram yourself towards thinking more positively more of the time.

And while this ‘reprogramming’ may sound like ‘hard work’ it’s not really….. but it does require conscious effort and for you to stop repeating the negative habits that trigger your negative thoughts.

It helps if we can understand that we are not our thoughts! Our thoughts are just the result of a process that is going on inside our minds. And the thoughts we are thinking at any given moment can be thoughts we choose or thoughts that come from our subconscious ‘storehouse’ of memories and habitual thought patterns.

And, since we are all sane or semi-sane individuals, we would prefer to be thinking good, uplifting, positive thoughts over negative self-harming thoughts any day, right?

The way we achieve this is by becoming a ‘conscious thinker’ more of the time. And so, let’s explore how we can achieve that.

What ‘tools’ Can You Use to Speed Up the Process of Reprogramming Your Mind Towards Positivity?

We are fortunate that much research has been done on this topic and the path to reprogramming our brains towards more positivity is well known. There are many great tools available for our use that can help speed this process up. So, let’s check out some of the best ones.


Selection of MP3's from Hypnosis LiveWhen we were young, we were able to learn everything at a phenomenal rate. The first advantage we had at that time was that our brains were in a different ‘brainwave’ state than what we operate in now.

In an article at linkmedia.org, they inform us: “From two to six years old, a child’s predominant brain wave is theta (4 to 8 Hz.)…. Theta brain frequencies are associated with the state of hypnosis during which information can be directly downloaded into the subconscious mind. To induce this imaginative, suggestible state in adults, hypnotists use methods designed to drop their clients’ brain-wave frequencies down into the mellower theta range.”

This is relevant for us now because we can take advantage of this anytime we like by manipulating our brains to re-enter the Theta brainwave state again. Going to a hypnotherapist is one way, and another is by engaging in self-help hypnotherapy sessions in the comfort of our own homes whenever we like. Hypnosis Live is one of the programs I use and recommend as very beneficial for reprogramming our minds from negativity towards positivity.

You can try it for yourself for free by clicking on this link: Hypnosis Live Free Gift


The second advantage children have over adults for super quick programming of their minds is repetition. They don’t give up. They see us walking and instinctively know that they can walk…. However, for the first 1000 attempts, they fail…. But they never give up. They repeat it over and again until it becomes a habit that no longer requires conscious thought to carry out.

We then spend the rest of our lives walking around without even thinking about it because the neural connections in our brains are strong.

Unfortunately, when we were young, many of us were exposed to a lot of negativity from those closest to us and influential to us….. and this is why we now have an inclination towards a negative mindset.

Subliminal 360 Free Gifts Brain HackerThings like ‘You’ll never be good enough,’ ‘You have to work hard for everything you want,’ and ‘Life is filled with hardship and struggle,’….. when repeated often became part of our subconscious mind programming…. And they are still with us to this day…. unless we have been able to replace them with more positive beliefs.

And how do we do this? Again, we need to repeatedly expose our ‘open mind’ to better thoughts that activate better feelings within us….. and it is this combination of better thoughts and better feelings that influence our neural biology and our cellular biology towards desiring ‘positivity’ as our natural state of being.

Subliminal messaging is a technology that is successfully used to repeatedly expose our subconscious minds to desirable traits and behaviors we wish to adopt as our own. A leading-edge program is Subliminal 360,
and for more information on how it can help reprogram your mind for success, abundance, and awesome health, check out my product review here: Subliminal 360 Review


I consider practicing regular meditation as the single most beneficial self-development tool we have at our disposal. It is not the quickest at achieving results, but it is the best practice for positively influencing all spheres of our lives (mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual.)

With the Brainwave Entrainment Technologies available today, achieving a deep meditative state is now easier than ever before. And this means that even if we have tried traditional forms of meditation before, and given up, we can now succeed.

Zen 12: is a meditative program that trains our brains (through the use of specifically engineered audio to move quickly and easily into the Theta brainwave state…. And this is the state where our minds are open and receptive to positive suggestions…. In other words, this is when we are most able to reprogram our minds for positivity, success, abundance, and all the good things we desire for ourselves.

You can get a free sample audio track from them here: Zen 12 Free Gift


Woman meditating on a beach, promotion for Zen 12 meditation programMindfulness is a practice that is all about becoming more aware of our thoughts, feelings, and bodies. Depending on what we wish to achieve with our practice we can also hone our awareness so we are more in tune with aspects of, or the whole of the environment around us.

But for the purposes of changing our negative self-talk into positivity, we need only be concerned with becoming more aware of the thoughts that are going through our minds.

I previously wrote a post on mindfulness that you can check out for more information: What is mindfulness: How will I benefit by practicing to become more mindful?

Becoming aware of our negativity allows us to change it or diminish the harmful and limiting effects it has on our lives. And really, any practice that promotes greater self-awareness within us will help us to progress to becoming a more healthy, abundant, successful, and happy person.

With that in mind some other practices you may wish to further explore could include: Yoga, Breathing Classes, Tai Chi, Chi Gong, and Rebirthing.

And please if you have any comments or other suggestions, please share them with our readers in the comments section below.

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