So…..in my last post, “What Should I Do With My Life? (5 Questions To Ask Yourself To Find Your Answers),” I suggested some questions to ask yourself to help you decide what you should be doing with your life. However, now I’m going to suggest that maybe there is a better way to find fulfillment, satisfaction, and direction.
It’s not that I have changed my mind, but because I realize we are all individuals and we are at different stages in our life cycles. And because of this, our requirements will vary a lot.
So, as a general rule, rather than having a destination, or a list of things that we think we should be doing with our lives, I would suggest that a ‘BETTER state of being’ is a more worthwhile goal.
And by this I mean we would benefit greatly if we aimed for a general feeling of ‘satisfaction.’ Appreciation, gratitude, and love are also states of being that we identify with when our lives are great!
So how do we get there from here?
What Should I Be Doing With My Life? Learn How You Can Always Have A Great Experience
We look for things to do and stuff to buy because we think we will feel better when we have done it or brought it. Therefore, it is the GOOD FEELINGS we are after, instead of the actual ‘doing’ and the ‘having.’ So, wouldn’t our lives become instantly better if we could learn to feel good regardless of the doing and the having? If we learn this, then the quality of our lives is up to us and is no longer dependent on external conditions.
Why is the way we feel the best indication of the quality of our life?
Our wants and needs are changing as we journey through our lives. At different stages, we require and desire different things. Therefore, if we are relying on stuff outside of us to make us happy, it’s a never-ending battle because the goalposts are always shifting.
When we are in our twenties, we may think that life is all about good friends to party with, a partner to share intimacy with, and a stable job to pay our bills. While, someone in their forties may desire a job with future potential for promotion, enough money for their kids’ future education, and a few weeks’ holidays abroad each year. Our needs continue to change, and they are different for all of us as well as being dependent on other factors like our culture, education, and location.
However, because how we are feeling is a stable determiner of the quality of our lives, it should be given more importance than the actual things we are doing or the possessions we accumulate.
Therefore, it becomes important for us to learn how we can feel good (internal conditions), regardless of external conditions.
Essentially, everything we do and everything we buy, we do so, because on some level we think we will feel better for having it or for doing it. Because, it’s the ‘good feelings’ that we are really seeking, not the stuff itself! However, we could easily make our lives better if we just learned how to feel good more of the time, regardless of what we are doing or what we have!
I know many people haven’t experienced this yet, but feeling good is a choice that we either make or don’t make. Our feelings are conditional on the thoughts we choose to think….. that’s all. This seems to be one of life’s biggest secrets! However, when we really understand this, we can easily change our feelings just by changing the thoughts we are entertaining in our minds….
Try it next time you’re feeling down. Just choose some great memories or thoughts directed towards upcoming happy events to make you feel ‘better’ now….. and in the next moment and the next, and then tomorrow and next week as well.
All you need to do is consciously focus your mind to think about a time in your life when you were really happy or expect to be happy and you will become happy in this present moment!
So, what should you do with your life to make it better?
To make our lives better, it would be a good idea to include a balance of two methods:
1) We benefit when we define some goals and then focus our energies and intent on achieving them. And the more passionate about our goals we can become, the more likely we are to achieve them. For a complete explanation of this, see my previous post: What Should I Do With My Life? (5 Questions To Ask Yourself To Find Your Answers)
2) We aim to direct our thoughts to the positive aspects of life so we can maintain a good feeling vibe for as much of our journey as possible. And how we can achieve this is explained in my post: Want To Learn How To Feel Better? (8 Quick Fixes And 11 Long-Term Solutions)
I encourage you to read these posts, not for me, but for your benefit. Because we never know when we are going to pick up on some life-changing information or ideas that are just what we need to make our lives better……… Today could be your time to learn something to potentially change your lives forever.
And why shouldn’t we all have the best possible life experiences that we can? Sometimes, it’s just a matter of knowing what we want, understanding how we want to feel, and then doing what it takes to make it happen!
“Enjoy the meanderings, the soul-searching, the loves lost, the time wasted. All of it will add up to a complex and very unique ‘you.’ The more you appreciate right now, the more the future will become a fantastic reality. Don’t pressure yourself to be in the future.” – James Altucher
If you’re still not sure what to do next, I suggest a great way to approach the rest of our lives may be to begin by doing certain things we can all agree on. And these may include:
- Learn to laugh and smile more
- Confront some of your fears, little by little if necessary
- Live with integrity… do what you say, and mean what you say
- Raise healthy, happy, and secure children
- Learn to appreciate the little things and small moments, because they make up most of your life content
- Help others when you can, in any way that you can, because one day, we too may need the help of others
- Practice loving unconditionally, because true love is the ultimate freedom as it does not require anything in return
- Trust the process…. Life is a journey, and you can never get it wrong. However, you can miss out on so much if you don’t participate
- Start and end each day with a smile on your face and an open heart….. just do it because the alternative is…. not such a wonderful life!
Maybe the idea of a ‘grand plan or purpose’ is actually preventing us from enjoying our lives.
Maybe life doesn’t need to have a grand purpose. If we think it does, we are putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on ourselves to come up with a ‘great plan.’ And if we don’t think of this great plan, how will we feel…. like a failure?????? This is not, in any way, beneficial for our well-being.
So maybe the best idea is just to let go of the idea that there is something you need to do or to achieve……
And then you can just get on with making your life more wonderful each and every day, doing the things you choose to be doing, without carrying the burden of not knowing what you ‘should’ be doing with your lives!
What do you think? I would love to know what you think about this article, so please leave me and our readers some comments below…… Your time and participation are most appreciated.
With love and respect for all souls who choose to play the game of life,
Andrew
The best part is everything we do and how we feel is by choice. I believe that is the ultimate secret to happiness. It is an art though to be able to wake up every morning and decide I am going to be happy today, or I am going to love this person, I am going to do the best I can to achieve my goals. I mean every aspect of our lives that we have control over comes down to that decision-making process.
I have learned to take responsibility for how I feel…. it does not matter what is happening around me, control your thoughts and you are a happy person. I used to be a slave to my thoughts, like seriously a slave!!! But you can free yourself with this teaching this man is writing here.
Thank you for your efforts to educate people about the quality of life.
Many Many blessings.👌
Thank you, Angee, I appreciate your comments 🙂
It’s a wonderful feeling when we discover that we are the ones responsible for how we feel. It gives us the power to be happy whenever we want, and who doesn’t want to have this power.
I know some people who are still always reacting to life’s circumstances, and their emotions are like a ship in an ocean. Sometimes calm, ad sometimes stormy…. all dependent on what is happening around them.
I think it’s far better to be in control of our own feelings 🙂
Thanks for sharing,
Andrew
I think that is wrong to have our happiness depend on things we buy or the actions of others. Happiness comes from within but that is easier said than done when life hits us with obstacles or tragedies as it often does. That’s why your advice of thinking of good memories made sense to me. It is a great way to retain that inner happiness. If our happiness depends on outer circumstances, then we have no control over it, and happiness is something we should be able to direct or guide ourselves.
Not enough people realize that happiness is an inner state of being. Still, too many people believe that it is things in the external world that are the source of their happiness. When they graduate, get a new job, find a partner, make more money….. etc. And yes, these things are joyful occasions, but they are only ever fleeting and temporary. And when the experience wears off after hours, days, months, or years, we are then left looking for the next thing that will bring us happiness…. it’s a never-ending pursuit of things, people, events, etc! And as you say, we have no control over these external things.
True and lasting happiness is a state of being that is the result of our mind’s ability to think happy and satisfying thoughts more often than thoughts that do not support our wellbeing. So if we can do that, think thoughts that support our wellbeing most of the time, then we will naturally become happy.
Thanks for sharing,
Andrew
What a wonderful article! We all could benefit from a little more smiling and laughing. You’re right, it is a choice to be content and happy. I like the idea of changing your thoughts when you’re not happy and thinking of a time when you were and what you were doing and/or thinking of an upcoming event that will please you.
I need to remember to do these things when I wake up in the morning and during the day. People, and me, get so caught up in the day that sometimes we forget to be happy.
I enjoy the little things in life. I get a kick out of watching birds fluttering around bird feeders, or hearing the breeze blow through a forest of pine trees. These little things truly make me happy.
When I get down and upset, I need to focus more on these happy things. Thanks for reminding me of that!
Nina
It’s a pity more people do not realize that happiness is a choice. The world could be transformed into a much better place overnight if everyone just started smiling.
A major benefit of being happy is that we also lose the need to judge and criticize others. And, others would do the same for us, so we would become free to live without fear of judgement….. Imagine a world like that?
Have a happy day every day, Nina,
Andrew
Great and refreshing article.
I loved the part where you said our goals change every time so we need to start embracing feeling satisfied within ourselves first before looking outside. I have learned this lesson this year and it has improved my life.
We could say the one constant about life is that everything changes. And because we have little to no control over the world around us, it just makes sense that we should become aware of our inner environment.
It’s great that you have learned this lesson. I know, that when I started applying it into my life, that life suddenly made more sense to me and became a lot easier…. because suddenly I was not responsible for everyone else’s feelings and actions, and all of the other random stuff that was happening in the world around me.
I wish you a happy and fulfilling life 🙂
Andrew