So, your life is So Boring! And naturally, you want to know why when it seems like other people are having so much fun.
I could easily make a list of things you can do right now that will temporarily distract you from your melancholy. However, temporary distraction or relief is just that- it’s temporary! And then sure enough, sometime soon, you will become bored again.
To find lasting solutions to a feeling of boredom you first need to find out what your problem is. Are you bored often or is the issue very infrequent and short-lived? Maybe your playmates are temporarily out of town, or maybe you are on a longer break than usual and just want to fill in a bit of time.
In these cases, short-term temporary fixes are great, and if you want, you can find some ideas in my post: Short and Long-Term SOLUTIONS to BOREDOM: (7 Ways You Can Improve Your Life Starting Now!)
However, if you are bored often, it’s likely you have developed some bad habits. It’s almost as if boredom has become a part of your life, even an aspect of your personality. And if this is the case, it’s going to be more challenging to remedy as you will need to rewire your brain so you can become enthusiastic about life again.
So let’s explore why you are bored and offer some solutions as to what you can do to move beyond the feeling of boredom.
Why Is My Life So Boring?
Our lives are made up of many moments strung together to form hours, days, weeks, and years. And it is what we are thinking and doing in each of the moments that determine our feelings and level of satisfaction or boredom. If we can proactively learn to cultivate thoughts and do things that we are passionate and enthusiastic about in each of the moments, then we will never be bored again.
Why is ‘Feeling Bored’ a Problem?
Boredom and dissatisfaction are feelings that sort of hang around together. And if you have these feelings, you are currently lacking enthusiasm and passion for life. This is detrimental to your health and well-being on all levels, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
If you are bored often, your partner will pick up on this and they may think that you are no longer happy with your relationship. Your boss may notice your lack of vitality and decide to give the promotion or pay rise to someone else. And your friends may stop inviting you out as your lethargy begins to ‘bring them down.’ When these things are happening, your life is going to suck!
All aspects of your life will be affected and the adverse consequences that come as a result may add more fuel to the fire of an expanding downward spiral. If unchecked, you could end up with low self-esteem, depression, anxiety disorders, and a whole host of other mental and emotional health issues.
As well as living a life of unhealthiness, a major consequence of long-term boredom and not doing something about it is that many people, while on their deathbeds, have expressed a huge regret for missed opportunities and a ‘life unfulfilled!’ They died knowing that they missed many wonderful opportunities simply because they chose to let them go by instead of choosing to participate more fully in their own life stories.
Would you like to be one of these people?
Based on your current life, are you likely to become one of these people?
What Can You Do To Get Over The Feeling Of Boredom?
I remember reading something from Jim Rohn…… He said words to the effect of “You are not a tree, you are not stuck where you are, so why don’t you move?” (And he wasn’t just referring to physical movement, but also mental and emotional realignment!)
Ummm, well that does make a lot of sense. Just move away from what it is we don’t like! And because we are human beings, the direction we are naturally wired to move in (when we are mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy) is towards ‘better’ things, better circumstances, better people, and better events.
If your hand is on a hot element, you don’t leave it there, you move it somewhere more comfortable. If you are in a place with loud disruptive music that you don’t like, you leave and go somewhere more pleasant. And if you are being burned by the sun on a hot day, you move to the shade or cover up to protect yourself. And if you are with people that are bringing you down, naturally, you want to get the hell out of there…..
“So if you think your life is shitty right now… it isn’t…it’s just your B life, based on a plan B”
We move from pain toward comfort and pleasure as a natural defense mechanism….. it’s wired into us. So why don’t you just move away from our boredom? Sometimes it’s not that easy because the longer our descent into boredom has been, the more ‘attached’ to this feeling we become and the harder it becomes to recognize it as ‘pain.’ It can actually become an aspect of our cherished identity…. even though it is slowly eating away at our well-being.
Boredom, as a prolonged state of being, is destructive to our psyche. We can feel it slowly wearing us down, and yet some people choose to stay there….. and it’s important to realize that it is a choice that they make to remain feeling bored….. even if it is a passive, unconscious, choice brought about because they choose to do nothing to better their situation.
Why Would Anyone Choose A Boring Life?
So, what is it that is stopping you from going out and doing something new, exciting, and different, as a way to break your spell of boredom? Maybe (more often than not) you are just too comfortable with where you are and with what you have…… even though you may complain and moan and groan about your situation often, much to the annoyance of those around you!
The reality is like this: If you are bored, you can move in many directions. Some directions will be fun, others thrilling, some fearful, and others may also be dull in other ways. However, the point is, any movement towards something different will change your state of being away from boredom…. therefore, just choose something different from what you are routinely doing, and then just do it to see how it feels!
What? Maybe tomorrow? Why the delay…. Are you too busy enjoying your boredom today???????
Ahhhh…. A movement towards something new and better requires work! It requires effort. It requires resolution and action…. And all of this means you will have to give up your bubble of comfort– or the ‘positive aspects’ of where you currently feel safe and secure. Maybe the reasons you have for remaining bored bring you more benefits than the perceived gains you will get by moving? (That’s worth thinking about!)
Moving beyond your current state of boredom may require that you change your circle of friends, change your jobs, reassess your relationships, and learn new skills. And it’s possible that you may not yet be ready to do all or some of these things yet. And maybe, just maybe, being bored at times is not really a problem at all? Could it be that you may just need to take a break to recuperate or to prepare for changes that are about to come? (This is also very worthwhile spending some time thinking about!)
Spending time in quiet contemplation and accepting the way things are is a really good way of turning a problem (feeling bored) into a benefit (time to assess and consider what is it you want to be doing with the rest of our lives.)
What Is The Best Way To Get Over Feeling Bored?
As with all of our feelings, they are the results of the thoughts we have been thinking. Angry thoughts lead to feelings of anger just as happy thoughts lead to feelings of happiness. So, “why is my life so boring?” Feeling bored is a state of being brought about by having thoughts that have resulted in this feeling.
This means we are bored, not because of what other people are doing, not because of what is happening or not happening outside our window, but solely because of the thoughts we are having! Our thoughts have created this situation for us! Our thoughts have assessed our situation and concluded that we are at this moment bored!
And I can almost guarantee that if you grabbed another person, someone who has not been in our situation before, and put them where we are now, they would not be bored! Why? Because they are looking at this situation with fresh eyes and with a mind that is not filled with inflexible ideas of ‘how it is and what can be done here.’ They would be more open to seeing the possibilities and potential of our situation than we are….
….because their mind is in a different (more open) state than our ‘bored state.’
If we can change our minds, we can change our world… our circumstances, our feelings, our relationships, our success, our confidence, our health and well-being, and every other aspect of our lives can be improved by learning to cultivate a better mindset!
So the solution to our boredom, and the majority of other ‘problems’ we have, is to be found in our internal world, not in the world outside of us. And when we accept this and begin taking responsibility for our internal world of thoughts and feelings, we can begin to create the fulfilling, happy, and successful lives that we desire for ourselves by reprogramming our minds with thoughts that are beneficial to our overall well-being!
6 thoughts on “Why Is My Life So Boring? (And the 1 Real and Lasting Solution)”
I had to laugh, Andrew!
This is a great article and opened my eyes to my views about some of my friends or family members! I don’t know boredom because I am always on the move, doing handwork, finding new prospects, new adventures, and always love to anticipate. But I also love just walking in nature, meditating, doing sports, being busy storing my food, making jam, fermenting food, etc. So there is always something to do or consciously not to do. 😉
But I know bored people who finally feel paralyzed emotionally, spiritually, and physically because they develop depression and feel sick. I always fall into my pitfall of wanting to help and motivate them to move, which is not easy, and I shouldn’t do this.
You said that it is more important to focus on ourselves to heal or stay healthy, and this is so true. The bible says that we first need to love ourselves, and it is true. If we don’t love ourselves, we can’t love others. People who are bored need to find tasks or learn to meditate to feel full and content.
However, if we heal and love ourselves, we wouldn’t try to fix others, but maybe give some advice, and if they want us to support them, we may help. However, most people don’t want help but just want to complain, so we better protect our energy and health.
It is a great article again, Andrew! 🙂
It was a very serious article, and you laughed at it…… haha, just joking. I’m glad it made you laugh, because as they say: “laughter is the best medicine.” Well, we can’t be laughing and bored at the same time, so that is a good thing.
I totally agree with you that our priority should be our own well-being first. Then when we are balanced, stable, and strong enough to take care of our own vibration, we can offer help to others who may benefit from what we have to offer. And yes, if they are chronically bored, they don’t actually want anyone to help them…. but instead, they do want an ear to listen to all of the reasons why life is so unfair for them….. and listening to the same crap over and over again when they are not willing to do anything to help themselves is so BORING!!!!!!
So, I no longer offer to choose to lend my ear to those who are not going to do anything to help themselves. They can find someone else to bore with their boring whining because I’ll be too busy enjoying some of the many interests I have that fulfill my days.
It sounds like you also have many interests to keep your life interesting. Great!
Have a fun day,
So much here, thank you.
I was wondering about the summary that ‘BY REPROGRAMING OUR MINDS WITH THOUGHTS THAT ARE BENEFICIAL TO OUR OVERALL WELLBEING!. I tend to read and pursue material that gives me a good understanding of myself and where issues may be coming from and then that usually is quite effective. What you have here seems like a nice shortcut. But, is it shallow. Is the effect eventually lost or stayed?
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my article.
I like your question. It shows insight and that you are a person who is sincerely interested in self-improvement. Welcome to the club 🙂
For many years (about 30 now) I have been on a path of trying to ‘figure our life, who I am, and why I am here.’ It’s been a journey of deep self-reflection, trial and error, experimentation, and love and heartbreak… and I wouldn’t change any of it.
We are changed as we expose ourselves to different cultures, different ideas, different socio-economic groups, etc. and I believe the contrast and diversity we experience in life is the greatest learning tool we have available to us. So when you read something that makes you question your existing beliefs, it is a good thing, and it may or may not give you a new vantage point with which to view your life and the way you are interacting with your environment.
What I’m getting at, in a roundabout way, is that change is inevitable, and the speed or rate of change we can experience is basically up to us.
Some people may choose to sit on the couch for four hours every night and consume junk food and alcohol, but they still change… although it’s not likely to be in a good/progressive way. They may gain weight and gradually become less healthy and therefore more prone to experiencing dis-ease.
Others of us, who pursue healthier lifestyle choices, get to enjoy more of the abundance that life has to offer.
Is one option a ‘shortcut’ or a cheats way of improving ourselves, or is it just taking advantage of the vast array of tools that are available to us?
Monks, nuns, and yogi’s often dedicate their whole lives to the practice of ‘changing (reprogramming) their minds.’ And to do it they separate themselves from their families and societies. And while I respect this, it is not how I choose to live my life. I believe we are here to experience and grow from the contrast that life has to offer, and so I choose to immerse myself in the experience of living life to the fullest.
Haha, I’ve gone way off track with my answer to your question, but I won’t delete what I have said because it does offer context to my point….. There is no cheating in life, there are no shortcuts….. there are just different ways available for us to use, or to not use, the gifts we have been given. And by gifts, I mean our bodies, minds, and emotions.
And my journey is about learning to use these gifts to their full advantage so that I can have the best life experience possible.
And using available tools to reprogram our minds is sort of like choosing between a 50-year-old slow car to get you to your destination, or a brand new car that handles better, is smoother, and a lot faster. For many people, it is like choosing between suffering a long slow journey to your destination or a smoother quicker ride.
As with all things in life, we can choose between many options. And for me, if I can learn faster and gather the things around me quicker, it is a good thing…. however, I do know that the journey doesn’t stop when we attain our current goals because that gives us a new vantage point with which to desire more experiences, more stuff, and more fun and love 🙂
I hope there is an answer to your question somewhere amongst all of my ramblings 🙂
I wish you a happy and fulfilling life journey,
Thank you for the love and respect you show to souls who need help. Your posts are sobering and healing. I follow you and I admire the way you approach people. You see the core of the problem and solve it in a simple and practical way. You know very well that the root of all boredom is a thought decline. Whenever I was dissatisfied with life that period was very boring for me because I didn’t have a social life.
Like you said, sometimes we also need the occasional vent and time to recuperate. I think it is a form of mild depression that if left untreated can lead to a serious problem. As you emphasized in the text, the solution to our ‘problems’ is in our internal world, not in the world outside of us. Well, that’s a lot easier said than done. It takes a lot of strength to get out of boredom and dissatisfaction. It takes strength of mind, heart, and will. I think people are under some mental hypnosis and their will is weakened. We have everything and yet we get bored.
I’m interested in what you think, whether the advancement of technology and the comfort we have today causes boredom, dissatisfaction, and depression. Were we happier when we had a little?
Just keep writing texts like this.
All the best,
Hey, Danijela 🙂
It is a lot easier to say ‘snap out of it’ than to actually change our state of being from one where we are predominantly bored to a better frame of mind.
However, it is well worth the effort to change….. after all, this is the quality of our lives we are talking about! And who wouldn’t want their lives to improve?
The state of boredom has become a habit for many people, and this is why it is difficult to break. It’s become the natural ‘go-to’ condition when we are not actively engaged in doing something to demand our attention. However, we can re-train our minds to form better habits that will support our desires for a more fun, lively and active life…. but we first have to really really want to do it, and then we will achieve it.
You ask if I think if “the advancement of technology and the comfort we have today causes boredom, dissatisfaction, and depression. Were we happier when we had a little?”
First off, I don’t know if people that lived in previous times were bored or not. However, I suspect that there have always been people who are not happy with what they have got or are doing. I believe this is just how some people are wired…. not that they have been wired to be this way, but that this is how their personalities have developed throughout their lives.
We are all different, and being human encompasses a broad spectrum of emotions and states of wellbeing. So yes, I do think there has always been a range of bored, happy, angry, fearful, loving, considerate, sad, etc. people throughout history.
Has technology and comfort contributed to increased levels of boredom? I do know that binging on TV shows tends to turn people into mind-numbed zombies, and hours a day on social media has been proven to be detrimental to people’s overall mental and emotional wellbeing. However, can we blame the TV and social media, or are these people the same ones that would have been bored and ‘messed up’ if they lived before these things were available? That’s something worth considering!
Personally, I tend to stay away from social media and the TV as they are proven to be hypnotic, as you say, and once we are under their spell, we become susceptible to the mental programming that they are transmitting.
The level of comfort we have in this age is unprecedented. We can basically stay home and order up anything we want and it will be delivered to us. Most of us don’t have to toil doing backbreaking work in the fields to grow our food anymore, and we can even fly around the world in less than a day. It reminds me of my sister’s fat cat, who had every luxury provided for him. He became fat and lazy because all of life’s challenges that we were there to keep him fit and healthy were no longer necessary…. and I see that much of humanity is now the same! We actually need some challenges and stimulation to make us grow and develop our potential. And without them, we are more prone to become bored!
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on another of my posts,
I appreciate your input and look forward to seeing you again soon,
With much respect,