So, your life is SO BORING! And naturally, you want to know why when it seems like other people are having so much fun?
I could easily make a list of things you can do right now that will temporarily distract you from your melancholy. However, temporary distraction or relief is just that- it’s temporary! And then sure enough, sometime soon, you will become bored again.
To find lasting solutions to a feeling of boredom we first need to find out what our problem is. Are we bored often or is the issue very infrequent and short-lived? Maybe our playmates are temporarily out of town, or maybe we are on a longer break than usual and just want to fill in a bit of time. In these cases, short-term temporary fixes are great, and if you want, you can find some ideas in my post: Short and Long-Term SOLUTIONS to BOREDOM: (7 Ways You Can Improve Your Life Starting Now!)
However, if we are bored often, it’s likely we have developed some bad habits. It’s almost as if boredom has become a part of our lives, even an aspect of our personalities. And if this is the case, it’s going to be more challenging to remedy as we will need to rewire our brains so we can become enthusiastic about life again.
So let’s explore why YOU are bored NOW and offer some solutions as to what YOU can do to move beyond the feeling of boredom.
Why Is My Life So Boring?
Our lives are made up of many moments strung together to form hours, days, weeks, and years. And it is what we are thinking and doing in each of the moments that determine our feelings and level of satisfaction or boredom. If we can proactively learn to cultivate thoughts and do things that we are passionate and enthusiastic about in each of the moments, then we will never be bored again.
Why is FEELING BORED a problem?
Boredom and dissatisfaction are feelings that sort of hang around together. If we have these feelings, we are currently lacking enthusiasm and passion for our lives. And this is detrimental to our health and well-being on all levels, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
If we are bored often, our partner will pick up on this and they may think that we are no longer happy in our relationships. Our boss may notice our lack of vitality and decide to give the promotion or pay rise to someone else. And our friends may stop inviting us out as our lethargy begins to ‘bring them down.’ When these things are happening, our lives just tend to suck!
All aspects of our lives will be affected and the adverse consequences that come as a result may add more fuel to the fire of an expanding downward spiral. If unchecked, we could end up with low self-esteem, depression, anxiety disorders, and a whole host of other mental and emotional health issues.
As well as living a life of unhealthiness, a major consequence of long-term boredom and not doing something about it is that many people, while on their deathbeds, have expressed a huge regret for missed opportunities and a ‘life unfulfilled!’ They died knowing that they missed many wonderful opportunities simply because they chose to let them go by instead of choosing to participate more fully in their own life stories.
Would you like to be one of these people?
Based on your current life, are you likely to become one of these people?
What can we do to get over our feeling of boredom?
I remember reading something from Jim Rohn…… He said words to the effect of “You are not a tree, you are not stuck where you are, so why don’t you move?” (And he wasn’t just referring to physical movement, but also mental and emotional realignment!)
Ummm, well that does make a lot of sense. Just move away from what it is we don’t like!
And because we are human beings, the direction we are naturally wired to move in (when we are mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy) is towards ‘better’ things, better circumstances, better people, and better events.
If your hand is on a hot element, you don’t leave it there, you move it somewhere more comfortable. If we are in a place with loud disruptive music that we don’t like, we leave and go somewhere more pleasant. And if we are being burned by the sun on a hot day, we move to the shade or cover up to protect ourselves. If we are with people that are bringing us down, we naturally want to get the hell out of there…..
“So if you think your life is shitty right now… it isn’t…it’s just your B life, based on a plan B”
We move from pain toward comfort and pleasure as a natural defense mechanism….. it’s wired into us. So why don’t we just move away from our boredom? Sometimes it’s not that easy because the longer our descent into boredom has been, and the more ‘attached’ to this feeling we are, the harder it becomes to recognize it as ‘pain.’ It can actually become an aspect of our cherished identity…. even though it is slowly eating away at our wellbeing.
Boredom, as a prolonged state of being, is destructive to our psyche. We can feel it slowly wearing us down, and yet some of us CHOOSE to stay there….. and it’s important to realize that it is a choice we are making to remain feeling bored….. even if it is a passive, unconscious, choice brought about because WE choose to do nothing to better our situation.
Why would anyone choose a life so boring?
So, what is it that is stopping us from going out and doing something new, exciting, and different, as a way to break our spell of boredom? Maybe (more often than not) we are just too comfortable with where we are and with what we have…… even though we may complain and moan and groan about our situation often, much to the annoyance of those around us!
The reality is like this: If we are bored, we can move in many directions. Some directions will give us fun, others thrills, some fear, others anxiety, and others may also be dull in other ways. SO, MOVEMENT TOWARDS SOMETHING DIFFERENT WILL CHANGE OUR STATE OF BEING AWAY FROM BOREDOM……. THEREFORE, JUST CHOOSE SOMETHING DIFFERENT FROM WHAT YOU ARE ROUTINELY DOING, AND THEN DO IT!
What? Maybe tomorrow? Why, are you too busy enjoying your boredom today???????
Ahhhh…. A movement towards something new and better requires work! It requires effort. It requires resolution and action…. And all of this means we will have to give up our bubble of comfort– or the ‘positive aspects’ of where we currently feel safe and secure. Maybe the reasons we have for remaining bored bring us more benefits than the perceived gains we will get by moving? (That’s worth thinking about!)
Moving beyond our current state of boredom may require that we change our circle of friends, change our jobs, reassess our relationships, and learn new skills. And it’s possible that we may not yet be ready to do all or some of these things. And maybe, just maybe, being bored at times is not really a problem at all? Could it be that we may just need to take a break to recuperate or to prepare for changes that are about to come? (This is also very worthwhile spending some time thinking about!)
Spending time in quiet contemplation and accepting the way things are is a really good way of turning a problem (feeling bored) into a benefit (time to assess and consider what is it we want to be doing with the rest of our lives.)
What is the best way to get over feeling bored?
As with all of our feelings, they are the results of the thoughts we have been thinking. Angry thoughts lead to feelings of anger just as happy thoughts lead to feelings of happiness. So, “why is my life so boring?” Feeling bored is a state of being brought about by having thoughts that have resulted in this feeling.
This means we are bored, not because of what other people are doing, not because of what is happening or not happening outside our window, but solely because of the thoughts we are having! Our thoughts have created this situation for us! Our thoughts have assessed our situation and concluded that we are at this moment bored!
And I can almost guarantee that if you grabbed another person, someone who has not been in our situation before, and put them where we are now, they would not be bored! Why? Because they are looking at this situation with fresh eyes and with a mind that is not filled with inflexible ideas of ‘how it is and what can be done here.’ They would be more open to seeing the possibilities and potential of our situation than we are….
….because their mind is in a different (more open) state than our ‘bored state.’
If we can change our minds, we can change our world… our circumstances, our feelings, our relationships, our success, our confidence, our health and wellbeing, and every other aspect of our lives can be improved by learning to cultivate a better mindset!
So our SOLUTION to boredom, and the majority of other ‘problems’ we have, is to be found in our internal world, not in the world outside of us. And when we accept this and begin taking responsibility for our internal world of thoughts and feelings, we can begin to create the fulfilling, happy, and successful lives that we desire for ourselves BY REPROGRAMING OUR MINDS WITH THOUGHTS THAT ARE BENEFICIAL TO OUR OVERALL WELLBEING!
And the spin-off to improving our lives is that our children and others we have influence over will see and then come to understand, because of our example, that they can do the same. We will in effect begin making the world a better place one soul at a time……… (or you can just choose to be bored for a while longer?)
Shared with love and much respect for all souls who chose to play the game of life,