We’ve all got a history. And it goes without saying that some of our histories are better off left behind. And I know you probably don’t take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone when you just want to get over stuff and move on with your life. We’ve all said and done stuff that we’ve later regretted.
Ok, so why don’t we just get over our stuff and move on to the better life that we know we want and deserve? After all, it should be easy, right? All we have to do is focus on where we want to be going instead of where we have been. Why then, are we still thinking about Letting Go Of The Past….. instead of having already done it?
Letting Go of the Past Is Necessary to Make Way For a Better Future
If we are remembering and holding onto the past, then our past is defining us. Because we become what we continually think about and do, holding onto our past keeps us trapped and doomed to repeat the same mistakes. To make a better future for ourselves, we need to create new thought patterns that align with how we want to be living in the future. These new thought patterns manifest as better feelings and emotions which inspire us to new actions. It is then that A NEW AND BRIGHTER FUTURE IS BORN FROM OUR ‘UPGRADED‘ PRESENT THINKING.
Letting Go of the Past is easier when we understand why we are stuck in the past!
By design, humans have mental, emotional, and physical memories. And when we are not consciously thinking, our unconscious memories take over which allows us to operate in autopilot mode. This means our predominant memories and ingrained habits are ‘filling in the blanks’ and allowing us to go about our day based on stuff we have previously learned (already programmed into us).
This acting and reacting from old habits and memories means that, by default, we are repeating our past. Therefore, our old thoughts, emotions, and physical patterns keep resurfacing every time we are not acting as if every situation was new for us. And up to ninety-five percent of our days are spent ‘LIVING’ in autopilot mode….. this is where we are reacting to life from habits- instead of creating new thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
I use the term living loosely because “is it really living when we are behaving like robots who are just following their programming?” And the crazy thing about this ‘mindlessly’ following our programs is that our reactions are not giving us the results in our lives that we want! And this is the reason why most of us are wanting to LET GO OF OUR PAST IN THE FIRST PLACE….. because our programming is contrary to what we desire for ourselves!
Are we mad or what? Why are we continuing to live in such a way….. to existing within a familiar environment that triggers us in similar ways every day…… when it is this triggering and reacting that is giving us the same results we have BEEN receiving…… the very results that we wish to ‘get over’ and leave behind?
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” – C.S. Lewis
Letting Go of the Past Means We Have to Start Doing Things Differently!
To receive new results/better lives require that we consciously engage our brains in different ways than we have done before. This means that if we do not change our environment (where we live, who we hang out with, the work we do, etc.) WE MUST CHANGE AWAY FROM HOW WE HAVE BEEN HABITUALLY REACTING TO OUR ENVIRONMENT TO ACHIEVE BETTER RESULTS FOR OURSELVES.
Does your partner often ‘push your buttons’ to get a ‘typical’ response from you?
Do you have a friend who always puts their wants and ‘needs’ before yours?
At work, does your boss or colleagues take credit for the stuff you are contributing?
Every day we have stuff happening that we wish would turn out differently…. and it’s probable that these things have been going on for quite a while. That’s because these things have become part of our programming.
“The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.”
TO CHANGE THE TYPICAL RESULTS (CONDITIONS, CIRCUMSTANCES) WE RECEIVE IN OUR LIVES, WE HAVE TO TAKE CONSCIOUS CONTROL OF OUR THOUGHT PROCESSES. We have to start acting differently…… instead of reacting, in the same way, we have done before…… THE SAME REACTIONS EQUAL THE SAME RESULTS……. NEW ACTIONS EQUAL NEW RESULTS!
This means that when your partner pushes a particular button/trigger and expects to get the same familiar response…… you stop, pause, take a breath, and then act differently….. in a way that doesn’t activate your anger, fear, disappointment, low self-esteem, etc…..
Instead, you act in a way that is ‘life-affirming,’ that is supportive of your well-being….. in a way where you know you are in control of your life and the outcomes you will receive…… YOU THINK AND ACT IN WAYS THAT BENEFIT YOU AND ARE ALIGNED WITH THE BETTER LIFE YOU WANT TO BE LIVING! Because….. why wouldn’t you?????
“You choose the life you live. If you don’t like it, it’s on you to change it because no one else is going to do it for you.” – Kim Kiyosaki
Why wouldn’t you do everything you can to LET GO OF YOUR PAST, when it is a past that is not what you want to be living?
It’s Not So Hard to Let Go Of the Past and Move on to a Better Future- WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT!
Thinking about what we are doing more of the time each day is the key to creating a better life for ourselves. It really is that simple!
What we think about, consistently, with passion, and without deviation, does manifest as circumstances in our lives. And unfortunately, this means the fear, the anger, the self-doubt, the low self-esteem, etc. also become ‘conditions/circumstances in our lives- if that is where the majority of our subconscious/habitual thoughts and reactions are coming from.
“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” – Marcus Aurelius
So…. The best way to let go of the past is to STOP THINKING ABOUT IT AND STOP RELIVING IT! Therefore, remove the stuff you don’t want from your vocabulary, from your actions, and from your thoughts……
You cannot keep saying things like “I never have enough money for the things I want” and expect ‘enough money’ to magically appear. You can’t keep expecting other people to love and accept you when you don’t love and accept yourself, and you can’t expect to be happy when your thoughts are about stuff that does not make you feel happy!
A good life is not so much about WHAT we have, who we are with, and what we are doing….. but it is definitely about HOW WE ARE THINKING AND FEELING about what we have, who we are with, and what we are doing.
If we truly value ourselves:
– We will find ways to spend more of our time hanging out with people we love and want to emulate…..
– We will find ways to spend more of our time doing the things we enjoy doing….. JUST BECAUSE IT BRINGS US JOY TO DO SO……
– And we will accept ourselves and our lives exactly as they are, and use them as a springboard to take us to where we want to be going….. because, let’s face it, anything other than this will just keep us repeating the past…. The stuff we want to escape from……
Life is to be lived in this PRESENT MOMENT…. The past has gone, but we are here….. So, be wise and bring your thoughts, your attention, and your considerable creative energy into the place where they belong….. that is the only place where YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE A BETTER FUTURE FOR YOURSELF…. THE HERE AND NOW!
“The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.” – William James
Shared with love and respect for all souls who chose to play the game of life,
Andrew
Hi Andrew, Wise words from a Wise man.
They say the past shapes a person, sometimes it can be old baggage, with no use, dragging behind.
To think and relive the past is not good as you stated, and using it as an excuse is holding you back. Resentment and anger are keeping you from excelling to be the successful you. Will it help to analyse and realise why it happened?
Thank you for sharing your experience and quotes with us, it makes the lesson of life clear.
Regards.
Hi Estelle,
Our past has definetly shaped who we have become…. and without any of the experiences we had, we would not be the exact person we are now.
So there is benefit in understanding the past, but it’s not beneficial when we get bogged down and limited by it….. it’s best to let it go and move on.
After all, if we keep our mind focused on the stuff that has already gone, we are missing out on the pleasure of living the stuff that is happening now. And I, for one, would rather focus on this moment and make it the best it can be, rather than live feeling regretful for something that I have absolutely no ability to change.
I wish you a wonderful day, today and always,
Andrew