Should I Get Back With My Ex? (9 Questions to Get an Honest Answer)

Should I get back with my ex- woman hugging man

If you’re looking for answers to should I get back with my ex, it means you’re considering that perhaps your future will be better with your ex, rather than without them. Maybe you have come to this conclusion because you have been looking over the idealistic holiday pics, and reminiscing about the good times has rekindled the affection you felt for them before.

However, it was never ALL good times for both of you before…. otherwise, you would never have broken up! Maybe you just forgot to take photos of the times when you were hurt, angry, sad, and disappointed…… Or maybe you threw them away in the hopes that they would somehow disappear from your memories?

Whatever the reason for you asking this question now, “Should I Get Back With My Ex?” there will be many things to consider….. and of course, the answer is going to be different for everyone. Realistically, the only way to find out if it would be a good idea is by getting back together…. and then time will tell if it was a wise move or not! However……….

……. that’s a drastic step to take because you are already uncertain if it’s a good idea. So, for now, common sense dictates that you don’t get back together with them until you are clear in your mind about what the best course of action is for YOU.

Should I Get Back With My Ex?

When asking if you should get back together with your ex, you are reminiscing about the good times. But don’t forget that there was a reason, or multiple reasons, why you broke up in the first place. What makes you think that these issues have now been resolved and won’t resurface? If neither of you has changed, you will just be picking up where you left off before. However, if you have both grown and matured, and are willing to put effort into making it work, then you have a real shot at developing an amazing relationship.

Your relationship may have ended for any number of reasons. At the time, you or your partner considered that the reasons for separating outnumbered or were more compelling than, the reasons for staying together. And since real life isn’t like the movies, where the ex always ‘sees the error of their ways’, and you ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after, those reasons won’t have magically ‘fixed’ themselves……

….. unless both of you have been working on your issues.

How you are feeling is of prime importance in any relationship

Real life consists of real people….. and real people have thoughts, feelings, and emotions like fear, doubt, anxiety, stress, etc. These things (our current mental and emotional makeup) are the result of the beliefs we hold about ourselves, our relationships, society, and life in general. And our beliefs are just stuff we have taken on that now makes up our personalities or ego…..

You have an ego, and so does your ex. And, surprise, surprise, this means that you are never going to be a complete synergistic match. However, that’s ok….. because contrary to what many people think about relationships…..

IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO ENSURE THAT YOUR PARTNER IS HAPPY AT THE EXPENSE OF YOUR WANTS, NEEDS, AND DESIRES. Instead, the best any of us can offer in any relationship is to keep ourselves in a state of mental and emotional balance.
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The way we can achieve this is by paying attention to how we are feeling. This is because it is our feelings that determine our level of happiness and satisfaction with our circumstances. And if we, (and our ex) can think and do things that align with feeling good much of the time, we will be happy when we are alone as well as when we are together.

We don’t have to be doing the same things all the time to be happy when we are together.…. the important concept here is this: If we are content within ourselves, instead of relying on circumstances, events, and people, outside of ourselves for our happiness, then it’s probable that we can remain balanced even when there are some issues within our relationships.

However, if you or your ex doesn’t understand the power of cultivating a content and happy personal ‘state of being,’ then you are bound to continue to have issues that will surmount your ability to deal with them, and they will more than likely lead to another breakup.

We can’t make the relationship work if nothing has changed.

It’s important to understand that we can all change. It’s simple, we just need to make a choice…. We can choose to feel better at any time by choosing a better feeling thought than the previous thought we had. And if we make it a habit of doing this often throughout our days, we will cultivate a better state of being, (a higher vibration) than we have had before.

“When you find vibrational alignment with You, you personally thrive. You feel good; you look good; you have stamina; you have energy; you have balance; you have clarity; you have wit; you have abundance of all things that you consider to be good. You thrive in all ways when You come into Energy Balance with You. Vibrational Relativity – that’s what it’s all about.”Abraham Hicks

You may be asking why I should change. After all, it was your ex who had the problems and was the reason for the breakup. If you consider this to be the case, then you made a poor choice in getting together with them in the first place. So, the next question is: “Why did you choose someone with who you were not compatible?”

Woman punching man on the jawWe make poor decisions when we don’t understand ourselves. And if we enter into a relationship where the other person also doesn’t know themselves, there is really only one expected outcome….. an eventual breakup! You can learn more about Getting to know yourself better in my post: What Is The Best Way To Change My Life… Understanding This Will Make It Easy For You.

When two people who are independently happy and content with their own lives come together, the potential for a fantastic relationship is greatly increased. So, ask yourself, “What work have I done on myself, and what work has my ex done on themselves, to make me think that things will be different and better this time around?

What about the other people in my life. Should I ask for their opinion?

We are one component of a relationship, and there are always more…. our partner, our parents, our friends, our siblings, our co-workers, and our social groups. Then there is also all the pressure we get from social media influencers, the expectations we get from watching relationships in movies, our religious beliefs, and society……

Whoa…… that a lot of stuff to navigate, understand, and a lot of people to try to keep happy….. and I say what we choose to do is nobody else’s business….. unless we value their advice and support. And that is our choice. If they truly love us, they will support us in our decisions, whether we get back with our ex or not!

So, how do we decide “Should I get back with my ex?”

Ask yourself these questions, and instead of mentally analyzing the answers, feel for the answers with your body and heart. Your vibration will never give you a confusing answer….. if you know how to listen……

– Do I still have more to learn from this relationship or have I learned all that I needed to from it?

– Have the reasons we broke up before been resolved on an energetic level or are they going to resurface again?

– Am I a complete and balanced person by myself, or am I still needing someone to ‘complete’ me?

– Is my ex the best available person for me now, or is there someone else I could have a much more rewarding relationship with?

– Am I able to forget the stuff that caused us to break up and to enter into this as a ‘new relationship?’

– What am I most afraid of? (Being alone, not finding someone else?)

– Is my ex as committed as me to make this work, and do they now have the necessary mental and emotional skills to make it better this time?

– When you picture the future with your ex, it is the future you want to be living? How does it feel?

– Am I being completely honest with myself?

Whether you get back together with your ex or not, you will benefit by working on your personal growth and development. Any growth aims to become more comfortable with yourself, more confident with your abilities, and more capable of handling any situation and relationships that come your way…..

So, develop your own state of being into a happy, healthy, and wise person first, and you will be more than prepared to have a great life with your ex, without your ex, or with someone new…. as always, the choice is yours!

“There is nothing for you to go back and live over, or fix, or feel regret about now. Every part of your life has unfolded just right. And so —now — knowing all that you know from where you now stand, now what do you want? Go forth in joy, and get on with it.”Abraham Hicks

2 thoughts on “Should I Get Back With My Ex? (9 Questions to Get an Honest Answer)

  1. Awesome article. I do agree 100% with what you’ve said. Change starts with us and we can only make others happy if we are happy with ourselves first. Don’t get into a relationship expecting your partner to make you happy – be happy with yourself first then aim to make your partner happy and if both have this mindset then the relationship will work.

    Thank you

    1. Hello again 🙂
      If we are not happy and we expect other people to change so we will become happy, our lives will forever be at the mercy of what other people are saying and doing….
      This would be an incredibly frustrating way to live…. our emotions constantly being ‘controlled’ by other people? It just doesn’t make sense to live like this.

      It’s far better to sort our own act out, become responsible for the way we think, feel, and act… and then we have a great chance of creating a wonderful life, and wonderful relationships for ourselves.
      Thanks for sharing. I wish you all the best,

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