When we think of vampires, we normally imagine the nightwalkers that suck our blood to survive. I haven’t met any of these vampires, but I have come across a few energy vampires. Instead of draining us of our blood, they suck the very life force from us. They steal our energy to renew their own sad and lonely lives.
So, if you find yourself always tired and sleepy when around certain people, it’s more than likely they are robbing you of your energy. Some of them may even be unaware of what they are doing. However, most energy vampires are aware that they need the vitality of others to make them feel better about themselves.
It’s not only people who drain us of our life force. It can also be places of low energy, events, and meetings we attend, and more importantly, we often do it to ourselves. Just consider the difference in the way you feel when you are having loving thoughts or entertaining negative thoughts.
Why Am I Always Tired And Sleepy When Around Certain People?
We wake up with a certain amount of energy each morning and can build it up and/or use/lose it throughout our day. If we are giving out more than we are bringing in, we will become tired and sleepy. This is not good for our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Therefore, to feel better, we need to learn how to better manage our finite energy to our advantage.
Losing our energy robs us of a satisfying life!
Learning how to increase our energy is a great idea. After all, who doesn’t want to live more enthusiastically, and have greater physical and mental health? However, it’s a waste of time if we are not managing our energy well.
It’s just logical to assume that we wouldn’t be feeling tired and sleepy if we weren’t losing our energy during the day. So, if we can identify where our energy is leaking and manage to conserve some, or all of it, as well as build upon it, then we will have more to spend on the things we enjoy and the people we love.
Energy is always flowing into and out of us to people and things around us. Our exuberance for life, displayed as our emotions, (ENERGY IN MOTION) is our greatest source of building energy. And our emotions are also the biggest drain for many of us.
When we are experiencing negative emotions, we are being drained of our vital life force. Fear, anger, hate, depression, anxiety, and stress, are just some of the emotions that wear us down. And if we can work out why we feel these emotions, we can discover how to stop the subsequent depletion of energy.
How do you know if someone is draining your energy?
We feel it! Maybe we were feeling optimistic and happy before meeting with a particular person. And then after spending time with them, we 
notice that we are tired and feeling drained of energy.
Being in the vicinity of an energy vampire can leave us exhausted, depressed, and pessimistic. Unfortunately, these people can be our spouses, family members, co-workers, and friends that we have known for years.
They are experts at getting us to listen to them and care about their problems. And then they can be unwilling to show any empathy towards us when we share our lives with them. They want the energy to flow in only one direction, from us to them. And, if we allow them to, they will suck the very life force out of us until we have nothing more to give. Then they will move on and find other willing victims.
Who are the Energy Vampires in your life?
- The person who is always ‘the victim.’ They constantly tell us why their lives are so bad and how the whole world is against them. Nothing is ever their fault. And they have a thousand reasons why all the advice we offer will never, ever, work. They just want us to always feel sorry for them!
- The boss or co-worker who is always demanding that we do everything. Our work is never good enough for them, even though they cannot do it themselves. They always want more and get angry and ‘personally offended’ when we stand up for ourselves.
- The critical and manipulative partner or family member. They belittle our dreams and aspirations for a better life. They are afraid of change and so try to keep things as they are so that they can remain secure, without regard for our personal goals and dreams.
- The ‘drama queen’ who is always butting in and seeking/stealing attention. When we have something positive to share, they will try and hijack the conversation so that it becomes about them. They make big deals about little things and demand our attention, thereby sucking our energy.
- Our friends who never listen to us but constantly expect us to be supportive of their emotional ‘pain.’ And when we don’t support them, they will talk behind our backs and accuse us of being selfish and uncaring.
- The person we met in the café or on the train who talks constantly. Even though we don’t know them they suddenly want to download their whole life story and all their problems onto us!
There are more, but I’m sure you get the picture. These types of people are not really interested in knowing us, but are only interested in using us to make themselves feel better!
How can you better manage your energy so you are not always tired and drained?
Many of us are rushing around thinking we have so much to do every day. We may spend time and energy commenting on social media posts of people we have never met and meeting up with people that we don’t really want to see, but cannot say no to. The more people we have in our lives, the more things we have going on, and the more energy we are expending.
If we took the time to stop and consider what is important to us, we would find that we could easily simplify our lives. If we cut out some of the unnecessary distractions and people who are wasting our time, we would have more energy to put into the things and people that benefit us.
Our energy is exactly that, it is our energy. It is we who need to learn how to be responsible for its expenditure. And the way we do this is to prioritize what is important to us…… We have to start considering that we are important enough to be the main focus of our own life!
This means we should simplify our lives so we make time for ourselves every day. With this time we can discover what we want to do with our lives, and what our goals and dreams are. Then we can devote more of our energy to pursuing things that are of benefit to us.
How do we do this? A great place to begin is to get rid of the energy vampires from our lives. If this is not possible, we need to limit the damage they are inflicting by not voluntarily giving our energy to them. We do this by setting boundaries, limiting our exposure to them, and not reacting to or becoming emotionally involved in their dramas.
How can you build and maintain energy so that you have a better life?
Building New Energy:
Learn how to define and set goals. Begin by asking “What do I want from my life?”
Most people go through lives without clear and defined priorities. And without priorities, we easily get drawn into the dramas of the moment. We have friends requiring our attention, stuff happening at home and work, and more things than ever before to like on Facebook, etc.
All this stuff requires some of our attention and the more we give out, the less we have available for ourselves. Remember at any given time we have a finite amount of energy, and what we are doing either builds our energy levels or depletes them. More distractions (giving out) equals less energy for ourselves.
If we don’t have priorities and goals, we are easily distracted and open to losing our energy. If we simplify our lives to focus our finite energy reserves on what is important to us, we win.
Maintaining our energy:
Learning to focus our energy on the things and people that are important to us helps us to create a better lifestyle. Because we will end up investing more of our time and energy in doing the things we enjoy. The results of this for us are happiness and satisfaction. Therefore, we begin to love our lives, and as everyone who has ever been in love knows, love, appreciation, and gratitude are energizing!
In this way, happiness is the natural byproduct of the beneficial choices we begin to make each day. So, happiness is not something we need to pursue…. rather, we just need to make choices that resonate with our well-thought-out goals and desires to maintain and build our happiness and our energy. If you need help with setting clear and beneficial goals, why not consider online therapy….
Online therapy is growing in popularity these days as it is more affordable and more convenient than having to go to a therapist’s office. You can choose from thousands of qualified mental health practitioners and connect when it’s convenient for you by video chat, phone calls, and texting for immediate help with any issue you are facing. Check out Online-Therapy.com and get 20% off with this link > > >
Final thoughts:
Most of us live overly complicated lives. We are spreading our finite energy over too many people, interests, and projects.
To protect ourselves and build our energy, we need to have a clear sense of ourselves and what we want out of this life. What’s our purpose?
Most people don’t have a defined purpose because they have never spent any quality time with themselves to figure it out. Going for coffee, jogging, a walk-in nature, or binging on TV alone, is not quality ‘alone time.’ It is time being distracted by stuff that is happening, avoiding stepping into something undesirable while walking, or following the movie plot.
Spending quality time alone is the only way we can begin to define who we are and what we want. And this means withdrawing our senses from the distraction of the exterior world.
We can do this simply by sitting down in a quiet place where we won’t be distracted, closing our eyes, and relaxing. We can then begin to venture into our internal world of thoughts and feelings and begin to unravel what it is we want from this life experience.
Meditation or quiet contemplation are two ways to achieve greater self-awareness. And learning about ourselves is a process that takes time, and is a necessary process for us to live happy and successful lives.
People who take the time to discover what they want have a direction to head in. Others that don’t, don’t know what they want from life. And because they don’t know what they want, they don’t know what will bring them the greatest happiness.
Instead, they end up living unhappy and unfulfilled lives.
What will you do?
Hi Andrew, I love your post very much because I know exactly what you are talking about.
Some very close members always talk about themselves in my family but never have asked us how our life is going. They haven’t visited us but suspect us to come. When my husband and I return from a visit, we feel drained and exhausted.
I am a very caring person and always open my heart to help others. Actually, my husband has pointed me to the fact what was happening between certain people and myself. He is better at setting boundaries but also telling the other what he feels. He never allows other people to play a game with him while it happens to me again and again.
As a nurse, I feel very often drained from certain people, but there are beautiful people, even though they are very ill. We laugh together and have a great time together while I am caring for them.
The best sources to energize me are silence and alone in nature, meditating or walking, lying in the sand or grass. The electrons of the earth are giving peace and healing.
You have described the energy vampires very well. However, I always think we have to include ourselves because I believe that all people can be victims to these vampires and perpetrators to other people. We are just humans, emotional beings. 🙂
Hi Sylvia,
Good point…. Yes, we can be energy vampires as well!
Every interaction we have is an exchange of energy. We may give some away, remain in balance, or even gain some. And for our well-being, it is important to know what is happening with our energy.
I try and avoid the people, or limit the time with those who want to suck the life out of others. And when I am with them I do not give my energy to them. They try and draw us into their dramas, try to make us feel sorry for them, and take their side against others. However, this is just a game to me now, and it becomes interesting to watch their tactics and how they try to manipulate others into giving up their energy….. Like your husband, I understand what is happening and now never engage with them on their terms. It’s not long before they realize that I am ‘not on their side’ (not going to voluntarily give them my energy), so they actually start acting like a ‘normal, well-balanced friend’ instead.
As emphatic people, it’s normal for us to open our hearts to help others….. But giving them our finite energy and therefore depleting ourselves does not actually help either them or us!
It teaches them that they don’t need to be responsible for their own vitality…. because other people will give it to them. And for us, it depletes us of the ability to live happy and healthy lives. When we are drained of energy, we have less for ourselves, and less for those we love.
The best option for us is to always tend to our own well-being first. as well as energy, I would also include finances, relationships, and health because the more we look after ourselves, the more we thrive. And then we become a living example to show others what they can also achieve.
We are born of this Earth. Every atom of our bodies have come from her and are still energetically connected to her. The healing power of lying in nature is awesome…. I love it!
Thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom with us,
With much love and respect,
Andrew
Hi Andrew and thank you for the well-written article!
It is sometimes easy to find ourselves ‘lost’ in the claws of the energy vampires without even realising it.
I do remember having a friend back in the days who would always complain. Everything would be bad. Every time I would try to turn things around and find a brighter side to the story, the friend would immediately turn it back to how bad and horrible everything was. I got certainly encouraged to find new people to hang out with. But I believe the most difficult is when we find ourselves among energy vampires as our family members or co-workers, or even worse – our bosses.
But as you say, setting up the right priorities and taking care of our own energy levels is the magic key.
Cheers,
Tatiana
Haha, thank you for sharing, Tatiana……
I’m happy you were encouraged to find new people to hang out with. This is definitely a great way to grow as a person…. assuming we begin hanging out with people who can help us move in the directions we want to go.
I have to agree, that families and bosses provide a different set of obstacles. It’s not so easy just to ‘change them.’
I currently have a business partner who is very negative now because of the hardships we are experiencing with a tourist-related business we own. It is in a tourist destination in South East Asia, and no tourists have been allowed into this country for 18 months now. He complains every day, all day, and to everyone. my strategy now is just to limit contact with him to what is absolutely necessary, because it doesn’t matter what positive things I have to say, he always manages to turn it into something negative.
So, it’s not in my best interests to be spending time with him anymore. He is talking himself into sickness and pain, while I am maintaining excellent mental, emotional, and physical health.
I’m hoping that he will one day be able to see and understand the negative results his bad attitude is having on his overall health. It’s something he has to discover for himself as he will not listen to anyone else because HE KNOWS BETTER THAT EVERYONE ELSE!
I can only allow him to have his experience as he chooses it to be, and learn from the drama that is playing out before me.
Yes, we need to take care of our own energy, and hopefully, others can learn from our example.
I wish you all the best,
Andrew
Hi Andrew,
Thank you for such an inspired text about what we are constantly forgetting and that is to build priorities and turn towards enriching our inner world.
Just like you said, it is the key to feeling good and becoming successful in life. But it’s not easy to do. No matter how hard you try to resist the attack of energy vampires, they constantly intercept you, whether in the environment or in the family. It is true wisdom to limit the influence of these people and not to hurt them because they are often people we love. In the 6 examples of energy vampires you listed, I meet everyone almost every day! I have 2 of those examples in my family…
But the key, as you said, is in setting boundaries.
I think this text can help a lot to those whose energy is drained. It is high quality and you know a lot about human psychology.
Keep up the amazing work.
All the best,
Danijela
Hi Danijela.
Nice to see your words again 🙂
But sad to know that you are dealing with energy vampires every day… It takes a very strong and resilient person to be able to survive and thrive under those circumstances. And I can tell by the words that you write that you are that strong person.
Becoming aware of people’s personalities and characteristics is very important if we are to understand how we can look after ourselves in their presence….. that is if we choose to hang out with them anymore. With family, it’s often hard to say no to them, and often harder to completely remove them from our lives. (And most of the time, removing them from our lives is not something we would want to do.) And this is why it becomes even more important to establish boundaries that will be respected by them.
I wish you well on your journey and look forward to connecting with you again soon,
With much respect,
Andrew
Hello Andrew,
Thank you for this article. I also experienced these energy vampires at some points in my life. But what I can really remember was a previous manager of mine. I will not go into details, but I’m really glad I found this article of yours. By focusing on what really is important in our lives, loving ourselves, will, in turn, help us to avoid these vampires and help us focus on the person/s that values us as well and the things we do love doing.
I have a very supportive family in everything I do, and in turn, I also focus on them so that helps me not to be distracted with the things I don’t need and the negativity of other people.
Hi Lemuel,
I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my post.
Having a supportive and loving family environment is so important for our emotional and mental wellbeing. And when we are emotionally and mentally well, the spin-off is that we have more energy.
I’m glad you mentioned that the energy vampire you knew was a ‘previous’ manager and not a current one. For our own sanity and well-being, we need to distance ourselves from these types of people as much as we can.
I wish you all the best,
Andrew