When we think of vampires, we normally imagine the nightwalkers that suck our blood to survive. I haven’t met any of these vampires, but I have come across a few energy vampires. Instead of draining us of our blood, they suck the very life force from us. They steal our energy to renew their own sad and lonely lives.
So, if you find yourself always tired and sleepy when around certain people, it’s more than likely they are robbing you of your energy. Some of them may even be unaware of what they are doing. However, most energy vampires are aware that they need the vitality of others to make them feel better about themselves.
It’s not only people who drain us of our life force. It can also be places of low energy, events, and meetings we attend, and more importantly, we often do it to ourselves. Just consider the difference in the way you feel when you are having loving thoughts or entertaining negative thoughts.
Why Am I Always Tired And Sleepy When Around Certain People?
We wake up with a certain amount of energy each morning and can build it up and/or use/lose it throughout our day. If we are giving out more than we are bringing in, we will become tired and sleepy. This is not good for our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Therefore, to feel better, we need to learn how to better manage our finite energy for our advantage.
Losing our energy robs us of a satisfying life!
Learning how to increase our energy is a great idea. After all, who doesn’t want to live more enthusiastically, and have greater physical and mental health? However, it’s a waste of time if we are not managing our energy well.
It’s just logical to assume that we wouldn’t be feeling tired and sleepy if we weren’t losing our energy during the day. So, if we can identify where our energy is leaking and manage to conserve some, or all of it, as well as build upon it, then we will have more to spend on the things we enjoy and people we love.
Energy is always flowing into and out of us to people and things around us. Our exuberance for life, displayed as our emotions, (ENERGY IN MOTION) is our greatest source of building energy. And our emotions are also the biggest drain for many of us.
When we are experiencing negative emotions, we are being drained of our vital life force. Fear, anger, hate, depression, anxiety, and stress, are just some of the emotions that wear us down. And if we can work out why we feel these emotions, we can discover how to stop the subsequent depletion of energy.
How do I know if someone is draining me of energy?
We feel it! Maybe we were feeling optimistic and happy before meeting with a particular person. And then after spending time with them we notice that we are tired and feeling drained of energy.
Being in the vicinity of an energy vampire can leave us exhausted, depressed, and pessimistic. Unfortunately, these people can be our spouses, family members, co-workers, and friends that we have known for years.
They are experts at getting us to listen to them and care about their problems. And then they can be unwilling to show any empathy towards us when we share our lives with them. They want the energy to flow in only one direction, from us to them. And, if we allow them to, they will suck the very life force out of us until we have nothing more to give. Then they will move on and find other willing victims.
Who are the Energy Vampires in my life?
- The person who is always ‘the victim.’ They constantly tell us why their lives are so bad and how the whole world is against them. Nothing is ever their fault. And they have a thousand reasons why all the advice we offer will never, ever, work. They just want us to always feel sorry for them!
- The boss or co-worker who is always demanding that we do everything. Our work is never good enough for them, even though they cannot do it themselves. They always want more and get angry and ‘personally offended’ when we stand up for ourselves.
- The critical and manipulative partner or family member. They belittle our dreams and aspirations for a better life. They are afraid of change and so try to keep things as they are so that they can remain secure, without regard for our personal goals and dreams.
- The ‘drama queen’ who is always butting in and seeking/stealing attention. When we have something positive to share, they will try and hijack the conversation so that it becomes about them. They make big deals about little things and demand our attention, thereby sucking our energy.
- Our friends who never listen to us but constantly expect us to be supportive of their emotional ‘pain.’ And when we don’t support them, they will talk behind our back and accuse us of being selfish and uncaring.
- The person we met in the café or on the train who talks constantly. Even though we don’t know them they suddenly want to download their whole life story and all their problems onto us!
There are more, but I’m sure you get the picture. These types of people are not really interested in knowing us, but are only interested in using us to make themselves feel better!
How do we better manage our energy so we are not tired and drained?
Many of us are rushing around thinking we have so much to do every day. We may spend time and energy commenting on social media posts of people we have never met and meeting up with people that we don’t really want to see, but cannot say no to. The more people we have in our lives, the more things we have going on, and the more energy we are expending.
If we took the time to stop and consider what is important to us, we would find that we could easily simplify our lives. If we cut out some of the unnecessary distractions and people who are wasting our time, we would have more energy to put into the things and people that benefit us.
Our energy is exactly that, it is our energy. It is we who need to learn how to be responsible for its expenditure. And the way we do this is to prioritize what is important to us…… We have to start considering that we are important enough to be the main focus of our own life!
This means we should simplify our lives so we make time for ourselves every day. With this time we can discover what we want to do with our lives, what our goals and dreams are. Then we can devote more of our energy to pursuing things that are of benefit to us.
How do we do this? A great place to begin is to get rid of the energy vampires from our lives. If this is not possible, we need to limit the damage they are inflicting by not voluntarily giving our energy to them. We do this by setting boundaries, limiting our exposure to them, and not reacting to or become emotionally involved in their dramas.
How can I build and maintain my energy so I have a better life?
Building New Energy:
Learn how to define and set goals. Begin by asking “What do I want from my life?”
Most people go through lives without clear and defined priorities. And without priorities, we easily get drawn into the dramas of the moment. We have friends requiring our attention, stuff happening at home and work, and more things than ever before to like on Facebook, etc.
All this stuff requires some of our attention, and the more we give out, the less we have available for ourselves. Remember at any given time we have a finite amount of energy, and what we are doing either builds our energy levels or depletes them. More distractions (giving out) equals less energy for ourselves.
If we don’t have priorities and goals, we are easily distracted and open to losing our energy. If we simplify our lives to focus our finite energy reserves on what is important to us, we win.
Maintaining our energy:
Learning to focus our energy on the things and people that are important to us helps us to create a better lifestyle. Because we will end up investing more of our time and energy in doing the things we enjoy. The results of this for us are happiness and satisfaction. Therefore, we begin to love our lives, and as everyone who has ever been in love knows, love, appreciation, and gratitude are energizing!
In this way, happiness is the natural byproduct of the beneficial choices we begin to make each day. So, happiness is not something we need to pursue…. rather, we just need to make choices that resonate with our well-thought-out goals and desires to maintain and build our happiness and our energy.
Most of us live overly complicated lives. We are spreading our finite energy over too many people, interests, and projects.
To protect ourselves and build our energy, we need to have a clear sense of ourselves and what we want out of this life. What’s our purpose?
Most people don’t have a defined purpose because they have never spent any quality time with themselves to figure it out. Going for coffee, jogging, a walk-in nature, or binging on TV alone is not quality ‘alone time.’ It is time being distracted by stuff that is happening, avoiding stepping in something undesirable while walking, or following the movie plot.
We can do this simply by sitting down in a quiet place where we won’t be distracted, closing our eyes, and relaxing. We can then begin to venture into our internal world of thoughts and feelings and begin to unravel what it is we want from this life experience.
Meditation or quiet contemplation are two ways to achieve greater self-awareness. And learning about ourselves is a process that takes time, and is a necessary process for us to live happy and successful lives.
People who take the time to discover what they want have a direction to head in. Others that don’t, don’t know what they want from life. And because they don’t know what they want, they don’t know what will bring them the greatest happiness.
Instead, they end up living unhappy and unfulfilled lives.
What will you do?