Normal people don’t like to see others suffering. As humans, we have a heart for a good reason. It enables us to feel compassion and love, to be tolerant and considerate of others, and to want to make things better when we feel bad for others.
That’s what good people do, right? We put ourselves out and hope that we can make the world a better place, even a little, just because we are in it.
So, naturally, when we see any injustice, pain, or suffering, it doesn’t resonate well with us, and we feel bad for the ‘victim.’
However, feeling bad for others is not always a good idea…. actually, it’s a bad idea to let our feelings be swayed by things we see happening around us, especially if by us feeling bad, it will not help the situation in any way whatsoever.
Not only is ‘our feeling bad’ not doing anything to help others, but it is also actually bringing us down… This is a no-win situation and, therefore, we need to figure out how to stop feeling bad for others. So, let me share some ways in which you can stop giving your power away and instead, retain your sense of balance and well-being.
How to Stop Feeling Bad For Others?
Everyone comes up against challenges in life. It’s just the nature of reality that the majority of the stuff that happens is beyond our control. However, we always have options about how we will respond to what is happening in our environment. And since the quality of our lives is dependent on how we are feeling moment by moment, we should always endeavor to feel as good as we can…. Feeling bad for others lowers our vibration, and when our vibration is low, we are unable to help ourselves, let alone anyone else.
Different Strategies You Can Learn To Overcome Feeling Bad For Others Include:
1) Understand That You Are Not Responsible For How Others Are Feeling!
Often people feel bad because of the results of decisions they have made. You didn’t make those decisions, and you have no right to be controlling another person’s life to the extent that they are relying on you to tell them how to live their lives.
So, the situation they find themselves in is their own doing. And now, they are reaping the consequences of their thoughts and actions. And this is a good thing….. for all of us!
I say a good thing, because, adversity is our greatest teacher. Yes, it is when someone is ‘suffering’ the most that they are facing the greatest opportunity for personal growth and development.
Just think of your own life… For me, the greatest mindset shift I have experienced is when my world fell apart and I was at my lowest point. The suffering I experienced was the imputes I needed to re-evaluate my life. It inspired me to learn more and grow in ways I had never considered…. And now I would never consider trying to take away the suffering of another person, because doing so could deprive them of a fantastic opportunity for growth.
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2) Different People React And Feel Differently About Stuff Happening In Their Lives.
You may look at an event that has happened in someone’s life and consider that it is ‘bad,’ and so you immediately feel sorry for them. However, maybe you are just assuming that they are feeling bad or unhappy with their lives.
I get it, I’ve been there and done that many times. However, years spent traveling in many different countries have taught me that not everyone thinks, feels, and reacts, the same as I do.
This means that just because I believe something to be averse, doesn’t mean that other people will feel the same way about it. One of the most important lessons I learned was when traveling through ‘less-privileged’ countries. My heart went out to the families that were living in shacks and faced a daily struggle to obtain the necessities for life.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have compassion for them, but I don’t dare lower my vibration by feeling bad anymore. Why? Because I understand that my feeling bad doesn’t help them in any way whatsoever. Instead, it just brings me down…. and this is a lose-lose scenario for everyone. Instead, I help where I can make a difference, and I enjoy watching the children laugh and play just like they do in every other country.
3) You May Be An Empath And Are Unconsciously Picking Up On Others Feelings
I have previously written an article on this, Can Other People’s Energy Affect You? so won’t repeat myself too much here.
However, the main point I like to emphasize again is this: If you are an empath, you are going to be feeling lots of emotions that are not yours. And it sucks when you are feeling fine, only to run into someone you know, and be brought down by the negativity they are feeling.
Other people’s energy affects you the most when their energy is very different than yours…. It’s the contrast you notice because of the amount their vibrations are out of sync with yours. Therefore, it’s important to understand that if these emotions are not yours, you have the choice of whether you allow other people’s energy to affect you or not.
Based on experience, it’s not at all beneficial to be ‘tossed around’ because of how other people are reacting to what they are experiencing…. After all, don’t each of us have enough to contend with just dealing with our own issues? The last thing we need to do is take on other people’s problems!
4) Many Of Us Have Been Brought Up Believing We Should Feel Sorry For Others
Compassion is a wonderful quality. It inspires us to help others in need. However, just because we think ‘they are in need’ of our help, doesn’t mean that helping others is always the best course of action.
Why? Well first of all, if you are feeling sorry for others often, you are crippling yourself with lower vibrational thoughts and feelings…. and this lowers your vibration. The unfortunate reality of this is that as you lower your vibration, you will, through The Law of Attraction, attract more people into your life to feel sorry for!
And this is not a good scenario for any one of us. Yes, be compassionate, loving, and generous if you can instead of ‘feeling bad,’ and you will inspire a better condition for all concerned because of the higher vibration you are radiating….
I’m sure you can all remember times when your energy has been brought down by others… and what about when someone with a higher vibration has entered the room? It helps to lift everyone …. So why not be a positive person and show others how beneficial it is to raise their vibration instead of feeling sorry for them?
5) You May Unconsciously Be Projecting Your Feelings Onto Them
What we receive as conditions in our lives is stuff that we have attracted because it matches our vibration. Yes, the world as you perceive it is nothing more than a reflection of your inner projections. And because of The Law of Attraction, you only attract people, events, and circumstances that match your innermost beliefs.
This happens because your most repeated thoughts become your beliefs, and your beliefs stir up emotions within you. Your emotions (energy in motion) then vibrate a signal outside of you, into the environment, which attracts stuff that matches your vibration.
In this way, ‘You receive conditions into your life according to who you are, not according to what you want!’
So, if you find you are often feeling bad for others, you would definitely benefit the most by cleaning up your vibration, not theirs.
If you were feeling peace, contentment, joy, and love most of the time, it would be impossible for you to attract people into your life that negatively affect you. It is only when you have some feelings of guilt, shame, mistrust, fear, anxiety, depression, etc. that you can see it in others and allow yourself to be brought down by it.
Therefore, if you want to improve the way you are viewing and experiencing the world outside of yourself, you first need to raise your vibration. Meditation, mindfulness, positive visualizations, and affirmations are some of the best ways to raise your vibration and can therefore participate in a ‘better world experience.’
As you learn to become more emotionally intelligent, you will realize that other people have the same option…. Even if they haven’t realized it yet! It will then be easier for you to allow them to have their own experiences without you having to get emotionally involved in any way.
6) If You Value Yourself, You Will Protect Your Feelings
Your life experience can be measured by how often you were feeling great and how often you thought that your life sucks! When people are breathing their last breaths, they often regret that they put too much energy into things that they had no control over instead of seeking to be happy more often.
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou
It’s important to understand some things about other people…. and one of the most important is this: Not everyone who is a victim wants to, or is ready to, be saved from their suffering! This is a powerful lesson, and when you recognize the truth of it, you will stop wasting so much of your energy trying to help others who do not appreciate it.
Instead, you will put your attention on the things that will serve you better…. because, in your life, nothing is more important than the way you feel!
You have probably been told that it is selfish to think of yourself before others… I know I was…. And it took many years to realize that many of those who I was feeling bad for, were not actually feeling bad for themselves!… also, they did not want my help or pity because they often did not see their issues the same way as I did.
And the good thing about putting yourself first is that you will create a better life for yourself, and this empowers you in so many more ways to help others who want and need your help.
Final Thoughts
– Feeling bad for others in no way makes things better for them. Pain is inevitable in this life, but the amount people suffer is up to them. If people are suffering, allow them to have the experience because, you never know, it may lead to their greatest triumph.
– By feeling bad for others, you may be making their situation worse by ‘validating’ that they should be feeling down.
– A much better option is to help out if possible or remain in a ‘better feeling state’ so that your positive vibration will act as a guiding light for them when they are ready to come out of their negative situation.
– Your feelings are just that…. they are Your Feelings, and as such, they are something that you can learn to control for your advantage. Life happens as it happens… there is so much we have no control over, and if we let all of it affect us, we would all be emotional wrecks…. So choose wisely and intelligently where you put your energy….. and put it where it will do the most good as often as possible, which is into your own personal growth and development!
Have a great life!
