Our motivation in life is to always feel good. Everything we want and everything we do is for the expectation that we will feel better for having it or by doing it. Therefore, it’s the result, or the good feeling emotions we will feel that motivates us.
Before we purchase that new dress, we are already imagining how we will feel when we are wearing it. And before we can achieve our goal of running a marathon, we are using the ‘good feelings’ we know we will experience when the goal is achieved to keep us encouraged throughout the strenuous hours of training.
My question to us all is this: Why wait?
Do we really need to wait until we have the items we desire or have achieved our goals to receive the reward of feeling great?
The simple answer is NO! WE DO NOT NEED TO WAIT FOR THE PHYSICAL MANIFESTATIONS OF OUR DESIRES AND GOALS TO FEEL BETTER. WE CAN ACTUALLY BE HAPPY ANY TIME WE CHOOSE TO!
Much of our time is spent doing stuff so that we can be happy later!
The main reason why we are not feeling happy all the time is that we have been conditioned to believe that it is things outside of us that is the reason for our happiness, or lack of it. We think that only when we have the stuff we want and have achieved our goals, then we have sufficient reason to, and are entitled to, feel happy.
So we spend much of our time doing actions (being active in the outer world– the world beyond our skin) in the hope that will we close the gap between our current reality and our desired reality. And often this time is spent doing stuff that we are not enjoying.
We spend years getting a good education in the hopes of getting a great job; We go to work to earn money in the belief that money makes us happy; We take out a mortgage to buy a house so we can feel secure and successful; we shop for new clothes, shoes, and bags to feel better, briefly, when we use them; We spend hours struggling in gyms to lose unsightly weight so we can feel better after the weight has gone.
It’s the results we will achieve, the elevated feelings, rather than the daily feelings we have by doing the majority of the stuff we do that keeps us going. Not many of us are happy to be sitting in an office with artificial lighting, air-conditioning, and lots of noise day in and day out, but we are willing to do it for the perceived future benefits.
It is the paycheck that we desire, not the money itself, but because of the things we can do once we have it. Our paycheck allows us to buy the things we want, take the family holiday, or spend time on our goals, and it is these things that give us the good feelings we are desiring, not the working for the money, or the actual money.
It’s our expectations versus our reality that determines how we feel.
So our conditioning/programming makes us believe that: if life is happening the way we want it to happen (we can buy some of the stuff we want, and complete some of our goals) then it is ok for us to be happy. And if we just continue to apply ourselves to the process of wanting, then doing, then buying, our happiness is assured.
If life is not working out for us as we wish it to, then we are justified in feeling unhappy. Unfortunately, many people will tell us that the solution to our unhappiness is just to work harder, put in more hours, or get a better job. This solution relies on the hope of making more money with which: we can buy more stuff, keep up with the Jones’s, keep our partner and kids happy……. etc.
However, doing more action-orientated stuff in the outer world (that we often don’t enjoy) is not a real or lasting solution to our unhappiness. It just means that we are spending more time ‘not being happy now.’ We are expending more of our energy and time for a perceived future reward, that is not guaranteed.
Coupled with this, our tendency to continue to want stuff never ends! Our consumerism societies are set up to keep us continually wanting ‘the next,’ ‘the latest,’ and ‘the greatest ever’ items. And then tomorrow, who knows, ‘blue may be the next black’ (AGAIN) in the world of fashion! We will always be wanting something more that we currently have.
While there is nothing wrong with wanting more, bigger, and brighter things, there is a problem if our happiness is reliant on us getting things that we currently don’t have.
If we continue to act and react to events, circumstances, and people in the outer world according to our consensus programming, we will never be in control of our lives, and therefore, NEVER IN CONTROL OF OUR HAPPINESS OR LEVEL OF SATISFACTION WITH LIFE.
We cannot control most of our external environment. Therefore, we cannot expect it to be a stable supplier of our happiness.
It’s important to understand that while it’s nice to find things in the physical environment that enhance our good feelings, we cannot rely on them to genuinely make us feel good at all times- they only bring temporary shifts in our thoughts and feelings.
Our family and friends will sometimes say and do things that hurt us; we may lose our well-paying job due to unforeseen circumstances like the current virus; a storm may come and uproot our favorite tree; our best friend may move far away, or our beloved family pet may break a leg.
The point is that stuff is always happening in the outer world that is beyond our control. And while so much of it is good, much of it is not going to enhance our desire to have ‘good feeling’ thoughts which lead us to experience good feeling emotions.
There are some things we can exert some control over to try and tip the balance in our favor to remain feeling good, but this usually only results in short term satisfaction. It becomes a constant battle to try and control external circumstances because there are many different energies involved. And if other people are involved, forget it, as we are not able to completely control (nor do we have the right to control) another’s behavior.
So, trying to control external circumstances to enable us to feel happiness is like walking a path that is always filled with obstacles. We will just be going from one hurdle to the next, and then the next. We will always be vulnerable to, and at the mercy of stuff that is happening outside of us. This is tiring, frustrating, and just a constant battle. AND DURING THE BATTLING PROCESS, WE ARE NOT FEELING THE HAPPY EMOTIONS WE ARE DESIRING.
This is a very common life experience, and I’m sure we all know people who are tired from trying to control external events, people, and circumstances so that they can feel better. They seem to be trying to swim up-stream, viewing life as a constant struggle, rather than taking an easier path and going with the natural flow of things.
They, and we, will benefit greatly by learning a different way to ‘manage’ our feelings so that the way we feel, and therefore our happiness, is not dependent on, or at the mercy of external events.
Life is not meant to be an easy ride. It’s the contrast that prompts us to grow ourselves.
Our lives can only begin to get better when we understand that neither the good feelings we experience when ‘good’ things happen nor the bad feelings we have when we observe or experience ‘bad’ things, is the actual reason why we feel good or bad.
The way we feel is only ever about our alignment or misalignment within ourselves. And once we understand this, we have the key to our empowerment and absolute freedom.
It’s important to understand that life is never always going to be a soft, fluffy, and easy experience. And, honestly, why would we want it to be? The point of being alive is to experience what life ‘IS.’ And life is not just the good bits or the bits we want to pick and choose for ourselves.
Life is an experience that encompasses a huge variety of contrasting stuff, the good and the bad, the ups and downs, and the expected and unexpected….. and the reality is that much of it, we have very little, or essentially no control over. We’re just kidding ourselves if we think we can control all the external stuff happening in the environment around us! AND IT WOULD NOT BE TO OUR ADVANTAGE EVEN IF WE COULD!
To find out why read my post here: Would it really be a good thing if we received all that we dreamed of?
We need contrasting experiences in our lives to give rise to more desires. Our desires, our wants, and our dreams keep us striving for more, bigger, and better things….. and this is what grows us as individuals and as a species. We evolve because of the process of having the wanted and unwanted, the expected and the unexpected, in our lives.
After all, how would we know what we wanted if we didn’t realize that others already have it and we don’t have it yet? How could we ever dream of world peace if we never saw the horrors of war? How could we wish for an end to poverty if we never saw a hungry person?
We make the world a better place because we are exposed to and ‘experience what life is’ in all its rawness. Our wants and desires keep us pushing the boundaries of what is currently possible to constantly create new products, ideas, entertainment, etc….. all with the goals of improving our lives and making us happier…… And this is enough to be happy about!
It’s the journey towards the having or the achieving that we need to be enthusiastic about so that we can enjoy the anticipation of the result every step along the way.
So why are we are waiting for the result before allowing ourselves to experience the desired outcome- the happiness?
Contrary to popular belief, we have much more control over the way we feel at any given moment, independent of what is happening in the outer world than we give ourselves credit for. This is because The way we feel is only ever about what we are thinking at any given moment.
So to feel better, we just need to change the predominant thoughts that are going through our minds. This requires that we become aware of our thoughts and actions rather than just thinking and reacting unconsciously to events based on our automatic subconscious beliefs.
As an unconscious reactor (someone living life in auto-pilot mode) we are going to continue to receive more of the same stuff that already makes up the content of our current lives. We will continue to have similar conversations and do similar things as we currently are and therefore end up feeling pretty much the same as you currently do.
In contrast to this, we are born with the potential to be the creators of amazing lives! However, this knowledge has been beaten out of us from the moment of our birth by a system that programs us to accept mediocrity as the norm. But we do not need to conform to this limited experience. We can reprogram ourselves for so much more, and live extraordinary lives!
All that is required is that we become conscious participants in our own life experiences! Being conscious allows us to really experience life. We get to envision new ideas, set new and bigger goals for ourselves, and then embark on exciting journeys to create what we envision, and then we can experience the joy of witnessing our dreams materialize.
Therefore, the key to achieving great lives lies in our willingness to become aware of, and then consciously choose our thoughts so that they align with how we will feel when we have everything we want and have achieved all our goals!
The Law of Attraction says that whatever we are thinking about IS PLANNING our future. There is no exception to this law. When we are worried, fearful, disappointed, sad, and depressed, we are setting ourselves up for more of the same in our future.
When we can turn our incredibly powerful minds towards a better, brighter, and bigger future life for ourselves, then this is what we are attracting into our experience. This is happening for all of us all of the time because the Universal Mind is ENERGY, and this energy is never punishing or rewarding us but is responding to our vibrational emissions, or our EMOTIONS.
This means that the more joyful we are, or the higher the vibrations we are emitting, the greater the well-being that we will receive into our experience.
What future are you planning for yourself?
To begin creating better lives, we need to stop reacting to stuff in the outer world, and begin using the enormous creative potential of our conscious minds and START LIVING OUR LIVES ‘AS IF’ THEY ARE ALREADY THE WAY WE WANT THEM TO BE.
It is only through properly utilizing our internal world of thoughts and feelings (through conscious participation) that we can direct our thoughts to create the feeling that is necessary to achieve strong emotions within us. These powerful emotions send the desired signals into the Universal Mind, the mind of GOD, and because of The Law of Attraction, we will receive the corresponding circumstances, events, and people into our lives to match our wants, goals, and desires.
This is why I say: THERE IS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAT THE WAY WE FEEL!
If we feel good now, we are planning for our future to be good. If we feel unworthy, sad, disappointed, angry, or fearful, then we can expect our future experience to be filled will similar feelings.
So, do whatever it takes to generate good feeling thoughts now…. Because your future happiness is dependent on it. Do it again, now, and now and now!
Shared with love and respect for all souls who are enjoying the experience of life!