It is OK to receive without feeling guilty. This was a hard lesson for me to learn because I was brought up being told that ‘I have to work hard for everything I want in life.’ Therefore, when opportunities came along that I did not work hard for, I felt unworthy of receiving the benefits they presented.
When doing an after-school job for a neighbor on a regular basis, one day he told me that he would give me a pay rise. It equated to 20% more than I was currently being paid. Not a great amount, but my reaction was to say that it was not necessary to pay me more and I would continue to work for the previous amount.
He said to me ‘Never look a gift horse in the mouth’. I’m still not sure exactly what he meant by this, but I accepted the pay rise and worked harder to try to do a better job than before to prove I was worth the extra amount.
Self-appreciation is the key to more abundance:
This contrasts sharply with how I reacted later in life when I was told that I was working too hard and not earning enough money. After consideration, I immediately raised my prices by 50% and saw no drop off in work. However, there was an immediate shift to a wealthier client base.
The difference at this time was that I believed I deserved more than I was getting. There had been a shift in my ingrained beliefs from one of having to work hard for everything, to one of believing that I was worthy to receive more without any extra hard work. The result was that I could actually work less and still earn more, while still giving the customers what they expected.
For this change to occur, nothing outside of me changed. It was a change in my internal programming, my deeply ingrained beliefs, which resulted in a change to my external reality. This realization was very profound because I began to understand that if I changed this one belief and significantly improved the quality of my life, maybe I could also make other changes for my immediate and future benefit.
Personal growth and development create better lives.
What if I was able to search out other beliefs that I have been holding onto, analyze them, and decide if they serve my highest good? If they don’t, I could then either rework them with my future benefit in mind or discard them altogether and replace them with new beliefs that will serve me better. This is how to have a better life. This is how we accept responsibility for our lives and choose to grow and develop our potential.
We can all create positive permanent change in our lives by seeking out and then working on the underlying beliefs that are resonating in our body’s energetic fields which are filtering down and manifest as our physical reality. To see how this works in your life, click here to read my post on The Law of Attraction.
Our imagination is our most potent tool
It can be the hardest thing in the world to imagine a different scenario to the one we are currently living in because our mind accepts everything that we currently believe to be true, without question. However, to change any undesirable aspects of our lives, we need to do exactly that: use our imagination and visualize the life we want to be living.
Our subconscious mind does not know the difference between fact and fiction.
Therefore, whatever we constantly repeat to it, with our thoughts and actions, it will believe to be the truth and strive towards creating it. If we constantly have thoughts reinforcing that we are lazy, undeserving, or stupid, our subconscious mind will believe these things and seek out situations and experiences to confirm these beliefs. If we have been programmed to believe we will never have enough money, then this is the reality that will manifest.
By imagining a different scenario, a life where our goals become achievable, we can begin to override the programs that the subconscious mind is currently stubbornly holding on to.
For example: Various media constantly promote that the way to lose weight is to diet. If this were true, then there wouldn’t be so many people who jump from one diet to the next in the hope of losing weight. For some it does work- but only when the beliefs that caused the weight gain in the first place are exposed and dealt with. For many others, dieting alone will not make any difference as their subconscious mind is still holding onto the beliefs that caused them to gain weight in the first place. It is these deeply ingrained subconscious beliefs that must first be changed before our reality can change!
Another example: Many people are taught to work hard to achieve the material things they want in life. Sadly, there are many hard-working people who do not make a decent wage. Circumstances, be it luck, lack of education, too much education, someone else, and everyone else are some of the excuses put forward as the reasons why.
Examine the beliefs you have: This will help you understand your current circumstances
We actually need to stand back and take a moment to examine the beliefs we hold in the areas of life where we do not yet have what we want or desire. What we say to ourselves consciously and what we believe subconsciously can often be very different. This is the real reason why we are not yet satisfied.
It’s good to put on a brave face to show the world that everything is fine. However, if our internal dialogue does not align with this, sadly it will not become our reality. It is only when we have changed our subconscious beliefs to reflect that which is truly desired, and then act to bring these changes about that we will begin to see the manifestations in the physical world.
New thoughts are required to create any new beliefs that are desired. These, in turn, will shape more new thoughts that will be consciously and unconsciously cycled in our minds. These then, if repeated often enough, become our new beliefs with time.
Become aware of your thoughts more often and you will change quicker
So, it is as simple as changing our minds to transform our lives. However, for most of us, reprogramming takes a long time as we keep doing the same things as we have done previously. If we continue to hang out with the same friends, visit the same familiar places, and have the same conversations, etc. then it is going to be difficult for change to occur as we are still continually reinforcing the same actions, and behaviors, that got us to the place in our life that we currently find ourselves.
For real change to occur, we need to step outside of our comfort zone and make changes that will align with who we see ourselves becoming in the future. Constantly and consistently using our imagination to believe we are already living in the future we desire is the key to getting us there quicker!
If running a marathon is our goal, sitting in a bar each night after work drinking beer with friends will not support this dream. Taking positive action by getting off the barstool and doing some training will.
Currently, we may consider that some goals may seem extra-ordinary and achievable only by those with ‘talent.’ However, anyone with talent has usually put in many years of dedicated hard work to become extraordinary! Success is achieved through passion and desire and by applying ourselves to tasks and never quitting. This applies to everything in our lives!
It’s very detrimental to our overall well-being to be constantly denying our dreams. It’s a dis-ease eating away at our body and mind and only serves to reinforce feelings of low self-worth. A dream of running the marathon but not doing anything to fulfill that dream creates thoughts like ‘I’m so lazy’, ‘I could never do that’, ‘I’m useless’. These thoughts when repeated over and over each night while sitting on the barstool are reinforcing our current reality. We are only proving to ourselves that what we think is true, and we will continue to manifest our deepest beliefs, and it is all our own creation…… because of our most common thoughts.
Our life experiences are our choice: Are you happy with your current choices?
We were not born with the beliefs we currently cling to. We came into this world with our minds blank and then absorbed information from the environment which became our programs (created our beliefs) to form the person we currently are. The beliefs that we have may not serve our best interests and desires and may not help us to achieve our goals. So, to get the things we want, we more often than not have to change our beliefs.
It is important that we come to understand that we are the creator of the content of our lives.
Once we know this we can choose which mind programs/beliefs we wish to keep and which ones we no longer want. In this way, we can begin the process of changing our beliefs by choosing thoughts that will give us the experiences and results we desire.
We are like biological computers, only vastly more complex. However, the same principles apply. Put a rubbish program in and get rubbish out. However, unlike a computer, we can choose to download new programs (learn new things), get software upgrades, and even go in for ‘repairs.’ In addition, we can contract viruses (bad beliefs that keep us in a self-sabotaging mode) and install anti-virus programs (beneficial beliefs that support our quest for over-all well-being.) We can also no longer refer to the information we no longer want by not accessing those memories/thoughts.
Deleting programs is not easy, as we generally hold on to the things that have had a strong emotional effect on us. Memories can be strong within us because of the raw power of the emotions they bring up within us.
It is easier to overwrite negative thoughts with new experiences that are uplifting, that bring out the positive emotions within us instead of continuing to focus our energy on trying to overcome the bad or unwanted memories. This can be as simple as turning on a light to illuminate a dark room, or as difficult as using a match to light up a vast dark cavern. The strength of the illumination will be as strong as the focus we direct towards it.
Stop blaming other people and circumstances and set about creating the life you desire.
By constantly remembering and seeking out experiences that bring us happiness, joy, and love we will be raising our vibration above feelings of hurt, anger, and fear. Over time this process will not eliminate the experienced hurt of the past but it will lessen the emotional attachment to the experience to the extent that one day we will be able to look back on the past and say, oh well, that was then! I am no longer that person and that experience did contribute to who I am now. Therefore, that experience has helped me get to where I am now.
It is what we term our ‘negative’ life experiences that give us the most opportunities for change, and therefore growth. They are actually working for us in exactly the proportion to which we think they have worked against us. By revealing to us what we don’t want, they help us become more clear and focused on what we do want, and this is a very good thing!
So the way to benefit is not to focus on the problems at hand or past bad experiences, but on the wisdom we gained that helps us define what we do want and who we want to become. And here we will discover that our emotions are our most powerful ally.
We can use positive emotions to our advantage as they can generate strong vibrations within us. It is good to laugh, cry, and to love…… and if we learn to approach everything with love, we will receive love in return. Approach others with anger or hate and see what reaction is returned! This is just The Law of Attraction at work in our lives.
The process of change does take time so we should not be concerned with not seeing immediate results. Happy thoughts, smiling at children and patting the cat for a week, is not going to wipe out 10 years of anger, fear, or pessimism. Our energy will still be reflecting the accumulated total of all past beliefs that we have had.
Give it time, and you will see positive results!
Please leave any thoughts or experiences that you wish to share in the comments section below. As always, I would love to hear from you.
Shared with love and respect,
20 thoughts on “What we receive from life depends on how much we value ourselves: Are you getting all that you want?”
Thanks for the post, Andrew. While reading this, I realized that I have a belief that is definitely slowing me down which is the belief of me being a lazy person. I will definitely get rid of that negative belief and replace it with a new one. Thank you very much for the post again and keep up the good work!
Hi Scott. It is great that you realize that you are holding onto a belief that is not serving your best interests. this is the first step required to overcome it. You are not this belief, it is just something that you have said to yourself over and over again until you began to identify with it. Now is a great time to replace it with beliefs that serve you desires for a better life for yourself. I wish you well on your journey, my friend.
You really hit the nail on the head here, Andrew!
Valuing yourself, be willing to adapt to changes and to be positive are the things that will help us succeed.
Although as you get old, you tend to see things differently. And sometimes, depending on the situation you are into, it is hard to adapt to changes and be positive all the time.
So I guess, my takeaway is valuing yourself and be happy about the choices we make.
Hi Mina. If we start now to value ourselves, it is not a problem as we get older because it has already become our habit to accept and appreciate ourselves as we are. Adapting to change in our lives is also about attitude and it is easier if we accept that change is a natural part of all of our lives. It is only when we resist change that we ‘suffer’ ie: think negatively about it. If we find ourselves in a situation that we are not happy with, we can always choose to change again into a situation or mindset that is better suited for our personal growth, development and overall happiness. Thanks for sharing, and I wish you all the best.
This is the second post that I have read of yours and I’m happy that I found this. Quite often I’ll come across a blog and read one post and not go back to it but your website has a bunch of great info on it and I’ll be adding it to my bookmark bar for future reads.
I recently was speaking with a friend of mine who was tired of her old job and started to visualize a new job but the problem that I could see was that she was quite negative about everything that was going on in life and she could not see forward because of this. One day my friend read an article that had some similar points that you had mentioned and the moment that my friend stopped blaming others or circumstances things began to change. Move forward just one month and her manifestation looks like it is becoming a reality. You se my friend wanted to be in a job that was paying 120k per year and have more time with her kids. Well, to her delight and as music to my ears her friend was promoted in a travel company to the national CEO and it now looks like there is an offer for a position that has a base of 120k and will allow her to work from home 3 days a week. It’s amazing what a positive attitude can bring!
Hi Jordan. I’m happy you like my writing and that you will visit again. It’s for people like you that I write 🙂
As your friend discovered, creating a better life begins by changing the way we think. Unfortunately, the fact that we are the absolute creators of the content of our own lives is not taught to us when we are young and therefore it is not understood by the majority of people who are alive today. But the same message comes through loud and clear from all of the past masters: You are creating your life based on the subconscious beliefs you have that are determining how you think, feel, and then act! Let that sink in for a while, and then tell me, ‘Do you ever want to have another negative thought for the rest of your life knowing that it will just come back to bite you in the ass?’
Shared with love and respect for all beings,
Great information on the subject of valuing ourselves and choosing to move past old programming. T. Harv Eker talked a good deal on this as well as well as Tony Robbins. I have been a firm advocate that people really can change and achieve everything they desire in life. I like what you said about “being happy” with our choices. I know many people who live out of regret, and having been there myself, it is never a good place to be.
Great information, and Benjamin Franklin would be proud of your site name!
Hi Jacob. many thanks for the positive reinforcement of my content. It is a joy to write posts that are able to inspire others to strive for success as you know. I consider that ‘being happy’ with our choices should be the main consideration directing how we live our lives. As you say, it’s no fun living with regret! Have a great life. Kind regards,
Thank you very much for this article Andrew! It made me realize 2 things that I wasn’t aware of up until now, which had a negative effect on me. Keep on the good work!!!
Hi Stoil. Thanks for reading my post. I am happy that my words were able to help you realize some important stuff. Best wishes for your future. Kind regards,
I don’t understand everything here in this topic but I think this post challenges me to be a positive thinker in all circumstances in life.
I just want to ask a question related to shameful experiences which anyone just cannot shake it and leave it at once. They are circumstances that challenges our pride and dignity and so I for one wanted hibernate if possible and let time go by. I know this is a paralysis to me because I am thinking that no one will believe in me and until there is someone who believes in me that I could believe in myself.
How could I deal with this life’s challenge? I just can’t forget it.
Hi Jimmy. Thank you for sharing your story. It is important that you believe in yourself first. If you cannot believe in yourself you cannot expect anyone else to believe in you. You are strong and you need to focus your thoughts on a positive future. The past is gone now, and it is not relevant to who you want to become in the future. So if you start focusing your thoughts on the strong, confident, successful person you want to become, with time you will achieve it.
I wish you lots of success and happiness for your future. Kind regards,
I feel like when you begin to align with your truest and best self, the Universe and circumstances certainly offer you indications along your journey that can support and signify to you that you are on the right path. I feel like this is that post for me. This past year, circumstances had me questioning and reframing my beliefs. I did the work in the book “The Six Pillars of Self Esteem” which I deem all kinds of wisdom. Self responsibility and respect for oneself is imperative in aligning your beliefs. To know who you are and that you have value to the world and have a right to express and harness that value is something that, if captivated and implemented by more amounts of people, could really change the world. Your writing about choices really resonated with me as I guide my six year old son with his behaviour and making choices and the relativity those choices have in how we shape our lives. It has been an advantageous pursuit to learn about the subconscious mind and the stored beliefs ingrained from previous generations that may not prove to serve our best, individual, gifted selves. I really appreciate the content you are writing as it provides real insights and easy to understand concepts and information. Thank you!
Hey Rebecca. Once again I appreciate your insightful comments and continued support. I believe your son is very fortunate and will grow up to be a wise and respected person due to the solid foundation that you are encouraging him to build for himself. By becoming aware that we always have choices, we can at all times use discretion to make the best possible choices and in this way, we can all contribute to making the world a better place for all life. All the best to you. With love and respect,
What an amazing article Andrew! I am in total agreement with you on your position that it is left to us to make the necessary changes with in ourselves in order to grow, bring improvement, and prosper in every aspect in our lives. For many years I have used my creativity and positive thinking to achieve the goals I’ve set for myself. I spent 35 years in a successful outside sales career, and I can truly attribute that success, by looking at myself in the mirror each morning and stating out loud what results I expected from a sales call, prior to making that specific sales call, and almost 100% of the time, what I verbally stated as the result, became the real-life result. I could tell you some interesting stories about that! So, your absolutely right, your mind doesn’t distinguish between real and unreal. Thanks.
Hi Terry. It’s great that you have been using the power of positive creation to influence your life in a positive way for so many years now. Our mind is such an amazing thing, and yet most people have no idea how to use it to their advantage. I would be interested in hearing some of your ‘interesting’ stories. haha
All the best,
Another great read – Thank you for that!
I think self-appreciation is hard to come by. It’s the balance of trying to be a better person without bringing yourself down.
Marvel in your accomplishments but also acknowledge your downfalls right?
I appreciate all of the tips and ideas you have outlined here and will continue to use these thoughts as a means to grow myself and my self-love!
Hi Kahlua. Thanks for your kind words. Yes, acknowledge our downfalls, but only in the sense that we can learn from them and use this information to rise up even higher than before! There is never, ever, ever, any reason for you or anyone else to talk to themselves in a negative way! Never! We are all students here, learning about life, and if there is something we are not happy about with ourselves, we can learn and then change it. We all feel better when we are positively encouraged by others, so why would we ever want to talk negatively about ourselves. Self-love and appreciation will magically transform anyone’s life for the better. Try it! Written with love and appreciation for the part you play in this life’s game, Andrew
You are so 100% spot on! I know that how I feel, really determines how my life plays out. I tend to be a positive person, and with that brings positive results. I guess, that is why I don’t understand why so many want to live in negativity and not strive for the good in life. It’s a blame game for them, which really does not result in happiness.
Hi Leahrae. Thanks for your support. It’s easy to look at those trapped in negativity and wonder why they choose to remain there. However, we are not walking in their shoes and so cannot possibly know why motivates them to remain ‘down there.’ All we can do is offer support and encouragement, as long as we are not giving our energy away, and wait until the timing is right for them to want to snap out of it. We will all arrive at the same destination eventually, which is our spiritual home, however, some choose to play in 3D reality longer than others. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Kind regards,